Insurgent Review
Or, good looking young white people against the world.
As it turns out I have a very good memory for movie plots. I tend to remember films very well and if I don’t just having someone describe a scene or a character is normally enough for me to more or less recall the film in it’s entirety. This stems back to the good old days when my dad would take us to the drive in to see such child friendly films as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or Orca the Killer Whale (one might think these films might not be appropriate for kids but I needed something the get me through the 1st grade. My father ladies and gentleman. Dad of the year).
The point is when I see the second in a series normally within about 10 minutes I have placed all the events and characters from the last film and can enjoy (or not enjoy as the case may be) the sequel but as this movie rolled along I found myself lost without a paddle. I could not remember much about the film or any of the characters and while I am not involved in the production of films as a fan of movies a film that has been more or less completely forgotten 12 months after viewing is not a blueprint for success. I’m just saying. Most annoyingly I could not remember the defining moment of Tris’s life in the killing of her friend Will. All I could remember was a really, really bland character jumping into a hole and a crowd of people all wearing the most boring clothes ever.
So I did what I usually do in circumstances like this and read the Divergent review I wrote back in March. After being stunned once again by what an awesome writer I am (my modesty is pretty stunning as well) I was able to piece together most of the plot. Of course the killing of Will I still can’t place and at the time was pretty inconsequential. I’m pretty sure somewhere between the first film and this one they decided to give Tris more of a back story and angst in order to avoid having her be named the least interesting character in cinema history (barely edging out the steering wheel from Driving Miss Daisy, a plank of wood from the dock of On Golden Pond, and any character ever played by Kristin Stewart).
For some reason I seemed to have liked it although I am at a loss as to why. Perhaps in comparison to the rest of the dross masquerading as film in the Young Adult category at the time it was a particularly shiny and appealing carbuncle but all the curses that plague YA films seems to have come home to roost. There was a time when Divergent could have unseated the Hunger Games off my personal throne as the best of the worst but that ship seems to have sailed.
Of course all the problems I had with Divergent have had no resolution and have only gotten worse. Again, why would anyone join any faction other than Dauntless? If you join any other faction why don’t you just spend all day bent over waiting for the inevitable wedgies that are coming your way? SPOILER ALERT They did sort of answer the question of who is this enemy that requires a giant wall and 20% of your population in the military with a big fat nobody but that just opens up more questions than it answers.
BIG SPOILER ALERT Honestly parts of this film seemed OK but the thing that really, really climbs up my ass is the worst sci fi fall back trope cop out ever: when the story gets stuck you just turtle up and claim the whole thing was just some kind of bizarre science experiment. Yep, the same thing that in my opinion ruined Maze Runner and any number of other crappy movies. You see people who don’t understand that science is actually a functional part of science fiction seem to think they can do anything if they later claim the whole thing was a giant Petri dish. The entire city of Chicago and it’s bizarre faction based social experiment that resulted in the death of hundreds of people was all some scientific experiment to produce the Divergents who are supposed to save the world by…doing something?
(Image from our funny t shirt collection)
It’s actually worse than that. So the main plot point is there is a magic box that only a 100% Divergent can open. But the evil boss lady more or less has all the Divergents executed and since Tris is the only 100% Divergent around the whole “science” experiment could have fallen apart when she fell off a train, got a knife stuck in her by one of the Factionless, or been shot in the head by one of the several hundred rounds shot at her by the Dauntless while she was running away. The thing about science experiments is if you set them up to fail and only succeed by the most random happenstance that is pretty much begging for fail. This entire plot could have failed about 800 different times. Also who sets up an experiment to run 200 years? Wouldn’t that time be better spent using 200 10% Divergents then waiting for the one 100%?
What was in the Magic Box, you ask? Only the “Congratulations you’ve survived our science experiment. Now walk outside and see what the rest of the world has for you” message. I seriously wanted to punch someone at that point.
1.5 of 5 Bleh.
Another Brick
So worth seeing? I hate saying this but not really. I had hope for this series at the beginning but rather than refining the film and filtering out the bad the lame parts have grown to clog the plot up like algae in your swimming pool filter. The action is sort of OK but everything that sucks about YA films is now here in spades, like they reviewed the first film and decided they need to add more to make up for the lack in that one. Tris was slightly more interested by being haunted by guilt (plus I liked her with short hair) and the Simulation parts were kind of cool if you dug Pink Floyd’s the Wall but other than that there isn’t much to recommend it. 1.5 of 5 phasers.
The Infamous Dave Inman
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