Nerd Movie Reviews

Nerd Dating: Spotting crazy girls early pt 3

Ok, back on the dating advice.  I am sure this will make Gina happy.  More tips that you may be dating a psychopath.

9.  She is now, or has been, a member of some kind of cult, new age therapy group, or other kind of weird spiritual experience. Does she talk about channeling her chakras?  Has she ever lived on some kind of commune?  Does she seem to have an inordinate abundance of crystals around her place?  Does she have a moon tattoo prominently displayed somewhere?  Do discussions of animal and human sacrifices not repulse her?  Then she is very likely to be a bizarre cult girl, and unfortunately this is a subject matter I am far too intimately familiar with.  Basically, you will never not disappoint this girl, and she will be forever wishing you could better improve your spiritual self.  Even if she is no longer in whatever she has been doing, odds are her personality will compel her to get into something else.  Also, there is a good chance you will get sucked into it and end up dancing naked under a full moon and bathing in chicken blood.

10.  Is she a strong advocate of one of the third parties? I don’t have a real issue with people who want to vote third party, but if she is gung ho for the Tea Party, Green Party, or Libertarian Party that believe me when I say dating her will be anything but a party.  These people tend to really believe in what they say and if you don’t agree with them then that must mean you don’t understand and the only cure is to be lectured at continuously.  If you make the mistake of agreeing with her (most likely in the vain hope that she will shut up about it) than you can look forward to being dragged to political rallies surrounded by other members of her party of choice who also want to lecture you continuously on the fine points of their party manifesto.

11.  Is she a hard core born again Christian? This one depends on your perspective.  If you are also a born again Christian than you can disregard this paragraph.  If you are not but think you can get past it, prepare for disappointment.  Christians are not a problem, but the really hard core true believers are nothing but headache.  I don’t think I should get too into this, except to say I recently had an experience in this area that has reaffirmed my belief in this point.

12.  Does she constantly ask you “What are you thinking?” Women naturally set traps, and this one is the tiger trap filled with punji sticks, scorpions, snakes, tigers, alligators, and burning napalm.  Every woman will ask this question once in a while, but if she regurgitates this gem every time you look out into space like a dog returning to it’s own vomit it is a problem.  There is never a good answer to this one.  If you think fast and say something like “How great your smile is” than that will only encourage more of the same.  If you tell the truth (Battlestar Galactica, if you locked your car, her breasts, the waitress’s breasts, who would win in a fight Deadpool or Punisher, or how best to get her alone at your place) than she will have the excuse she is looking for to be hurt.  (BSG image courtesy of the television show t shirts)

By the way, if you are a girl reading this, if a guy really wanted to tell you what he was thinking, his lips would be moving.  The answer to your question will either reek of insincerity or just really annoy you.  Don’t flip over any rocks if you aren’t ready to deal with what you will find underneath.

More tomorrow.

Tags: psycho girls, Television T Shirts