Nerd Dating: Online Dating pt 20: Getting the number on the first meeting
Sorry again about not blogging a lot this week, but the fact is twice a year I get a ton of new shirts and this is the week they have arrived. I spent the last two days working on 11 new shirts. 
My favorite of the new one has to be this Zoolander shirt. It’s the logo from the Derek Zoolander Center for Children Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too shirt. Hilarious (image courtesy of the funny t shirts category)
I’m going to make this one brief, as I have to write a newsletter as soon as I get this done. Basically this is the last of my online dating posts for a while, since after the first horribly awkward meeting the potential relationship usually devolves into a normal dating situation. The one last thing that is significantly different from “normally” meeting the girl is that, unlike meeting someone at a club or political rally, there is a pretty good chance at the end of the date you still don’t have her number. You could simply head home and email her, asking for her number, but personally I don’t like to rely on that. Remember what I said months ago: most women are looking for an excuse to drop you like a bad habit, and being a wimp on the phone number is the perfect rip cord for most of them. Also, remember it is super easy to ignore an email, and her having written evidence of you having to beg her for her number will come back later and bite you on the ass.
You can actually get a pretty good read for your odds of getting her number by how long she sits with you at that first meeting. It breaks down like this:
10 minutes or less-uh oh.
11-30 minutes-not really likely to happen. Odds are she was trying to be open minded and give you a chance, and you blew it. This range can often times result in you getting a fake number, usually to one of those rejection lines but sometimes to something funny like a bowling alley or adult book store.
31-60 minutes-really about 50/50 here. You didn’t offend her visually or verbally, and she has probably put you into the “maybe” category. However, know that you are dating on thin ice here and are one major misstep from a complete dating meltdown. Tread softly, my freind.
61-120 minutes-really good. Probably about 80% here. She had a good time hanging out with you and would most likely be willing to see you again (either that or she has been treating listening to you talk like slowing down on the freeway to look at a traffic accident). You likely have a little more leeway in the making mistakes area, although honestly that varies quite a bit and can still mean one.
121-240 minutes-excellent. Hopefully you took her to dinner and the two of you had a great time. Also hopefully you didn’t tell her your life story or bore her all night with stories about your blog or commercial website. You would have to screw up pretty badly in the last 10 minutes to fail here.
241+ minutes-believe it or not, eventually you reach the point of diminished returns and your odds start to drop. If she feels like she already knows you or has spent a lot of time with you she may well lose interest. If the meeting goes four hours it will feel like a date. If it goes more than that it will probably feel like an all day meeting. Try to cut out after three to four hours. Make it look like you have some kind of life to get back to.
Anyway, it’s time to ask for her number. How best to do this? I find this is one of those unusual situations wherein being straight up and honest works best. Just look her in the eye and say something like “This is great. We should definitely hang out again.” If she replies positively whip out your cell phone and say “What is your number?” It would be polite of you to dial immediately so she has yours and knows you are not some kind of nut with caller ID blocked or something. At that point shake her hand and go home to plan something great for your first date.
Gotta run. Still not sure what do do next for dating. The girl I am seeing turned me on to some new music today so maybe I’ll review the one band she gave me a burned CD of. I’ll figure it out tomorrow. Any dating questions or subject suggestions would be seriously considered.
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