By / 6th December, 2011 / funny t shirts, T-Shirts / No Comments

The 10 Best and 5 Worst Mel Gibson Movies

Yes, nothing new in movies this week that really intrigues me, so I thought I would work on something else.  Mel Gibson has taken a lot of abuse lately, and some might even call it justified, what with his drunk driving, spousal abuse, and racist rants.  I can honestly say I would think very hard about spending money to see one of his movies currently.  However, I have enjoyed many of his films in the past, and when I was doing my 5 Worst Kurt Russell film list I came across one that Mel was in as well.  You’ll see it in a bit.

So these are, in my opinion, his best and worst of what he has done and I have seen.  As always, feel free to disagree or point out things I might have missed, but I feel pretty good about this list.  Best first.

10.  Ransom-Mel owns an airline and his son is kidnapped.  I remember liking the way Mel’s character handled this situation, by taking the ransom money and turning it into a bounty on the heads of the kidnappers.  Not really exceptional, but worth watching.

9.  We Were Soldiers-the story of the first major battle of the Vietnam war.  Mel plays Lt. Col. Hal Moore, commander of the newly created Air Cav of the US Army.  This movie was cool in that it showed the battle from both the American side and the Vietnamese side.  The action was pretty brutal, so don’t get to attached to any of the supporting characters, if you know what I mean.  Sam Elliot as Sgt. Maj. Basil Plumley was really cool too.  However, the battle scenes kept cutting back to the wives of the soldiers having to deliver the death notices to the other wives in a manner that was jarring like editing scenes cut from Scarface into the Sound of Music.  Also, don’t death notifications take more than 30 seconds for the war department to process?  Still, good movie.

8.  Hamlet-I’m not a big Shakespeare fan, to be honest.  Maybe it’s because I have a hard time staying awake during plays, which is ironic as I have no problem staying awake during the most boring of films.  However, I found this rendition with Mel playing Hamlet to be really engaging.

7.  Conspiracy Theory-ever want to see Mel play a paranoid schizophrenic?  Now you can.  Actually, I love this movie because the writers obviously knew my cousin Matt and based the story around him.  Whenever I have to answer the question “Any history of insanity in your family?” I have to mentally rewrite my family history.  (Paranoia shirt image courtesy of the Funny T Shirt category)

6.  PaybackI love noir and dark stories, and trust me, this one is dark.  Mel plays a criminal who is betrayed by his former partners and spends the rest of the movie trying to get his $70,000 like an even more psychotic version of the paperboy from Better Off Dead.  Gruesome and dark, this is one of those movies you enjoy in spite of the fact that you have very little sympathy for any of the characters.

5.  Mad Max-some of the lists I have seen have this one at the top, and I will say it has a really cool ending, but as much as I enjoyed it, there were others I enjoyed more.   I think I found the motivation a little too simplistic.  Also, as a fan of Max the idea of him with a happy family even at the beginning of the movie seems wrong.  There should be no happiness in Max’s life.  He should always be a shell shocked waste case, like he was in the next two.

4.  Braveheart-painted blue ass a go go.  What a great film.  Mel plays William Wallace, Scottish patriot and all around bad ass.  Great battle scenes, good humor, and an evisceration scene that had me loosing my popcorn, if you know what I mean.

3.  Lethal Weapon-remember a few lines ago when I said Max should always be a shell shocked waste case?  This is because this is the roll Mel plays best.  Here he is Martin Riggs, burned out Vietnam vet with a death wish.  That “nothing to lose” aspect of his personality makes him truly kick some ass.  The last few minutes of the movie, where he decided there was stuff in life worth living for, felt really out of character and kind of continued in the next three sequels.  Great movie, nonetheless.

2.  Gallipoli-ever have the feeling that your life is just too good and happy and you want to bring it down a few dozen notches?  Then this is the movie for you.  One of his earliest roles, he plays an ANZAC soldier in the assault on Gallipoli during WWI.  However, as depressing as it is, the movie is great and you will enjoy it.  Just make sure you have your anti-depressants handy for the last 10 minutes of the film. Also, by the end of the movie you will hate the British officer class.

1.  The Road Warrior-not only my favorite Mel Gibson films, but one of my top 10 of all time.  Who doesn’t love a apocalyptic wasteland with Mohawk biker gangs running around doing horrible things to all the remaining good people?  Actually, while this movie is in all ways cool, it is the driving sequences that make it happen.  Check out my blog post about the best movie chases scenes of all time for more details on that.  This is the movie that made me fall in love with double barreled sawed off shotguns (very illegal, btw).  If I ever get enough money to buy a muscle car, it will be the MFP Interceptor from this movie (for the record, it’s a 1973 Ford Falcon XB Coupe, a car only available in Australia.  It had a Concorde front end.  The supercharger poking out of the hood was for looks only).  Ironically, the filmmakers sold the Interceptor for scrap, but fortunately it was saved by a fan of the movie.

So there it is.  However, as Winter follows Fall, as good opposes evil, and as yin matches yang we have to have the bad films to go with the good.  Here you go.

5.  Bird on a Wire-I remember walking out of this film wondering what the hell just happened.  This was three years after Lethal Weapon and I was hoping to see Martin Riggs kicking ass.  Instead I saw Mel Gibson with a bad 80’s Flock of Seagulls haircut and a goofy smile on his face.  I put the blame for the silliness of this movie on Goldie Hawn, who I find really hard to take seriously in any serious film.

4.  Signs-I know.  Alien invasion movie.  I should love it.  But the big M. Knight Shyamalan twist (SPOILER ALERT) is the aliens are poisoned by water!  Yes, let’s invade a planet that is 70% covered with a toxic substance and fight the natives who are 90% made of said toxic substance.  It’s hard to take seriously an enemy I can literally kill with spitballs.  This is like the US invading Iraq, except instead of sand the country is made of radioactive waste.  Also, this is another movie where you get to spend 100 minutes praying for something to happen.

3.  Tequila Sunrise-hey, what’s bad for Kurt Russell is bad for Mel Gibson.  Check out my Kurt Russell post for more details on this convoluted dog.

2.  What Women Want-jeez, talk about pandering.  This so called “movie” is just painful on multiple levels, at least from a male perspective, and honestly if I were a woman I think I would be really offended by the simplistic treatment of stereotypical women.  Also, it should be pretty clear from the phone conversation tape his ex girlfriend made that Mel Gibson really DOESN’T know what women want.

1.  The Patriot-oi, what a piece of crap this was.  OK, I know I’m a nut about historical accuracy in movies, but this one didn’t even try.  Instead, we got a super USA propaganda piece that managed to completely skirt around the issues of slaves and the fact that the Continental Army managed to win not a single battle during the course of the Revolutionary War.  We got our asses kicked from one end of the country to the other, and only won because the British decided the war was costing too much money.  Hey, a win’s a win, but still.  This film is painfully one dimensional and ultimately kind of stupid.

That’s it.  Post here if you think I am an idiot for any of these (or any other thing, for that matter).    Thanks for reading.  I would go see a cheap movie and review it tonight, but there is nothing out I haven’t seen except for Happy Feet 2, and I really can’t force myself to watch dancing penguins (this is why I didn’t see Mr. Popper’s Penguins).  Also, I didn’t see the first one and feel I might miss some of the nuance of the sequel for the lack of it (ha ha haha ha).  I’ve got an idea for tomorrow but if I don’t get it together will just do the Star Trek thing.  Thanks for reading.  Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu.  Talk to you soon.

Dave


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