The Post Oscarlyptic Review
I should have done this yesterday, but this week is kind of crazy. I don’t really want to tell you what I have going on, as it makes me look like an uber dork, but I will. I have a tournament for Warhammer coming up this weekend and have to get four new models painted before Friday. Wish me luck at the tournament please.
Anyway, I did not actually watch the Oscars. Watching the massively wealthy, successful, and great looking people of Hollywood give each other phallic golden statues kind of annoys me, and some of the acceptance speeches by actors or actresses I formally respected makes me regret having ever seen a movie in my life. From what I heard about the event I didn’t miss much. Sounds like the same bland pap and smug self congratulatory ass kissing that goes on every year, although according to reports this year got even more boring.
However, I would be remiss in my duties as a self proclaimed movie reviewer if I did not at least comment on what movies got what awards. For the most part I was not grievously offended by most of the awards, and was gratified to see that Tree of Life got what it deserved, which was el zilcho (and in truth the director should be parking cars at the Oscars next year). I’ll go through them in the order of the list I just found on the interlink.
Best Cinematography-Hugo. This makes sense. Given that Martin Scorsese seems to have done this movie more to learn new filming techniques and 3D it works for me that he would do some amazing cinematography. Also he is a brilliant director and knows his way around a camera. Hugo image courtesy of the Movie T Shirt category.
Best Art Direction-Hugo. Again, this film was made for amazing visuals, and the sets and props in this movie rocked.
Best Costume Design–The Artist. Didn’t see it. Probably not going to see it. I know. I’m a neanderthal. From what I saw the costumes looked pretty good, and nothing else jumps into my mind for great costumes.
Best Make Up–The Iron Lady. This one threw me off at first. When I think of Best Make Up I go to Evil Ash from Army of Darkness. But then I thought about this movie and the way the make up artist successfully made Meryl Streep look both young and vibrant and old and decrepit. I lot of that goes to Streeps acting ability, but a healthy share belongs to the make up. Kudos.
Best Foreign Language Film-A Separation. Didn’t see it. I just looked it up and odds are I should see it, although I think I might find it depressing.
Best Actress in a Supporting Role–Octavia Spencer, the Help. I applaud this choice. I loved her in this movie and thought she really rocked it. I was torn on this one between her and Melissa McCarthy from Bridesmaids. I think they made a good choice here, however.
Best Film Editing–The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I can see this. I thought the pacing of this movie was excellent, and that is a reflection of the editing.
Best Sound Editing-Hugo. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Hugo was destined to win all the technical awards. Sound was good in this one.
Best Sound Mixing-Hugo. Has there ever been a movie that won Best Sound Editing that hasn’t won Best Sound Mixing? Why are they really separate awards?
Best Documentary Feature-Undefeated. Didn’t see this one. Documentary films rarely do much for me, unless it’s about Star Trek fans.
Best Animated Film-Rango. I can see this. I didn’t review this film as I saw it on video but it was certainly good. Better than Tintin.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role–Christopher Plummer, Beginners. I didn’t see this one, but enjoyed him in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Best Original Score-the Artist. Given that there was no dialog and the film was entirely score, it makes sense that they would win this.
Best Song–the Muppets, Man or Muppet. I don’t know. I loved the film and most of the songs were pretty good, but this song was sung by new Muppet Walter (the most boring Muppet since since Blandy McBlanderson) and Jason Segal (the second most boring Muppet since Blandy). Seems like they could have picked a better one. I think they voted this one just because the name is easy to remember and associate with the film.
Best Adapted Screenplay–the Descendants. Excellent choice in my opinion. I can’t really speak of this since I didn’t see the Artist, but I think it should have won best film.
Best Original Screenplay–Midnight in Paris. I did enjoy this movie. I don’t know if would have been my first choice, but I don’t find this choice objectionable.
Best Live Action Short-The Shore. Isn’t this another term for Best YouTube Video? That’s what it sounds like. I suppose it’s a short made with live actors rather than a cartoon. I didn’t see any of the nominees. I don’t have time to watch movies these days.
Best Documentary Short–Saving Face. I am more likely to watch a documentary short than a full on documentary. I blame my MTV generation.
Best Animated Short-The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore. Didn’t see this one, but it sounds like one of those whimsical cartoons parents love and wish their kids would love but the kids hate.
Best Director–Michel Hazavanicius, the Artist. Again, didn’t see it. Congratulations to Mr. Hazavanicius. I don’t know if lightning will strike twice.
Best Actor in a Leading Role-Jean Dujardin, the Artist.
Best Actress in a Leading Role–Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady. I totally agree with this one. Meryl Streep is an exceptional actress and totally deserves this in my opinion.
Best Picture-The Artist. OK, I’ll go see it and review it dammit!
That’s it. Thanks for reading as always. Like I said I’m super busy right now and might have to back off movies this week. I’ll try to sneak off and see something before Friday. Maybe a midnight showing of some kind. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu or email me [email protected] with questions, comments, or suggestion. Feel free to post a comment here and as long as you keep it clean and I understand what you are asking I will approve it. Talk to you soon.
Dave
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