Side Effects Review
One side effect was me being surprised how good it was.
Yes I’m back from one of the busiest and tiring weeks of my life. I started off Wednesday of last week driving to Burbank for the Grand Slam Star Trek show (it was decent and I met a lot of really cool fans, but at the end of the show when I added up everything I just didn’t make a ton of money and it was a huge headache. I’m putting a big question mark on going back next year). I got back Monday morning and then flew out Tuesday for a trade show in Vegas where I looked at a bunch of new T-shirts and had to keep seeing one of the two men on my permanent hate lists (I tend to be very forgiving and it takes a lot to make my permanent list. There are only two; one guy who cheats regularly at Warhammer (DIAF jackass) and one who cheated me out of an astronomical sum of money. The money guy was the one I had to keep seeing).
By the way before people start telling me how much fun I should be having spending a couple days in Las Vegas let me tell you that I am not really a Vegas guy. I don’t drink, I am too smart to gamble (and since I don’t drink I don’t enjoy free drinks while losing money), and I am too moral (and cheap) to hire the services of sex professionals. With all those off the table ask yourself what else is there to do in Vegas? I live in the Bay Area so generally food is better (and less expensive. When did food in Vegas get to be super spendy?) at home, I find most live theater boring, and for the most part the people are either really fake or the absolute dregs of humanity injected into an environment that encourages low brow activity. 
I know, I am dead boring and most of you would know how to have a blast in Vegas (usually doing stuff that seem to end with things that rhyme with “comet” and “luke”. Explain the appeal of drinking yourself into a coma. Dog Beers image courtesy of the Cheap T Shirt category) but I spent most of my free time watching Seinfeld reruns and wishing the hotel would enter the 21st century and have WiFi for my iPad (Luxor, suck it up and get with the times you 4 sided die. The Motel 6 I stayed at in Kettleman City two weeks ago had WiFi).
So, bored as hell I opted to see a movie and wound up in Side Effects (in a really crap theater. Vegas seems to hate anything that isn’t gambling. This theater looked, smelt, and felt like they should be showing classic X rated films to a bunch of guys in raincoats). Having seen Contagion I expected it to be the same sensationalist dry pap that writer Scott Burns seems to enjoy but was really pleasantly surprised. Instead of a pseudo documentary about the evils of psychotropic drugs, their side effects, and the pharmaceutical industries secret plan to keep the population safely medicated it was something else entirely. This film has some awesome twists so I am not going to go too deep into the story but trust me when I say it’s not what it appears on the surface.
Incidentally I am going to give the Side Effects marketing team a D- for selling this film. The trailers made it look exactly like the Contagion-esque documentary I wanted to avoid and thus really disinclined me to seeing it. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I would have had to wait 40 more minutes to see the new Die Hard I never would have watched it. Fail deluxe.
Like I said I really don’t want to throw out any spoilers so I am going to give this story the most tertiary treatment possible. Emily Talor (Mara Rooney-the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Social Network, Nightmare on Elm Street) plays the wife of insider trading prisoner Martin (Channing Tatum-21 Jump Street, the Vow, Magic Mike). He gets out of prison and finds his wife to be suffering from extreme depression. They go to a psychiatrist (Jude Law-Cold Mountain, Sherlock Holmes, Enemy at the Gates) who puts her on a series of psychotropic drugs.
Honestly I don’t want to get into it any more than that. The drugs have some unexpected side effects (oh, I see what they did there. Clever). Emily’s former psychiatrist (Catherine Zeta-Jones-Rock of Ages, Playing for Keeps, Entrapment. By the way, she was looking amazing in this film) surfaces to give some history. The plot goes in directions I didn’t expect in all the best ways.
The stars. Given the fact that most films seem to think audiences don’t want anything less predictable than riding on a merry-go-round for two hours I loved this film for the fact that the story honestly surprised me. Two stars. Excellent acting all around. Normally I have a jealousy driven hatred of Hollywood pretty boys like Channing Tatum (anyone know what kind of name Channing is? Is it possible his parents thought he would be some kind of amazing psychic medium but forgot an L on his birth certificate?) and Jude Law but in this film I thought they were both very appropriate and great. One star. Great dialog. One star. Mara Roomey and Catherine Zeta-Jones make up for some very pleasant scenes to look at. One star. At first the pacing felt slow but as the movie progressed I realized it was 100% correct for the story and by the end really appreciated it. One star. The story made sense and progressed in a logical, plot hole free manner. One star. Surprisingly fun and easy to enjoy. One star. Total: seven stars.
The black holes. Not much, really. Given the experience of watching Mara in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo I was expecting a lot more nudity but there was actually very little. I don’t know why they bothered with an R rating. The movie felt like PG-13. One black hole for unrealized potential I guess.
A grand total of six stars and a recommendation that you see it if you enjoy movies that engage more of your brain than the stem. Worth your time. Nothing on here demands that you see it on a big screen so you could easily NetFlix it but if you want to encourage quality film making drop a few bucks and see it in the theater. Date movie? Sort of. Nothing here to really get her motor started but she should enjoy it a great deal. On the other hand Channing Tatum does take off his shirt and Jude Law spends the whole movie talking with his dumb sexy British accent so if you feel you might suffer badly in comparison try to find a Kevin James marathon somewhere. Bathroom break? I am going to recommend you hold it for this one. The story has a very cool construction feel to it and if you miss the wrong scene you could end up not getting everything. If you really have to go I’d say your best bet is any scene involving Jude’s step son.
Thanks for reading. I have a lot of catching up to do, and have an idea for something new coming up using my completely defunct art degree. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu for updates on new posts and other thoughts. If you have a comment on this review or the movie itself please feel free to post it at the bottom of this article (if you don’t see a comment section click here). Off topic questions or suggestions can be emailed to me [email protected]. Thanks again and have a great day.
Dave
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