Neighbors Review

Some funny jokes that unfortunately got stretched over too much movie.

This is a film that I have to fight past my own prejudices to review fairly.  I was a GDI in college and proud of it.  I tend to find organizations who’s sole purpose is to get its members drunk and/or laid to be a waste of oxygen (although were I to go back in time I’d probably rush a fraternity if only to get laid once in a while.  And that, my friends, is the official sound of me selling out.  I’ll leave my punk rock/alternative lifestyle membership card at the door) .  I also find Seth Rogan’s humor either really hot or really cold and have yet to forgive him for the Green Hornet.

Then there is my issue with Zac Efron.  I really, really want to hate him.  He is way too pretty a male (I don’t know if I can call him a man) and grievously exacerbates my own image and self esteem issues (sometimes I don’t know if I can call myself a man).  He as done not a single movie to date that I didn’t hate (That Awkward Moment in particular, but the Lorax sucked too and I still have nightmares from the festering midden known as New Years Eve) and his success with women makes me sometimes wish for a tragic illegal firework to the groin accident so at least I would have an excuse for how miserably I do.

The problem is deep down inside I suspect that if I were to hear him interviewed on Howard Stern or maybe meet him somewhere and grab some coffee he might just turn out to be a super cool and chill dude and that just isn’t fair.  I am so much happier with successful, beautiful people who are soulless douchebags.  People who have all that plus are neat damage my mental paradigm.  Also I can’t fault Zac’s work ethic.  He might be making crap movies, but at least he is making a lot of them.  Eventually he might hit a script that doesn’t count on him carrying the entire film by taking off his shirt.

So did I like this movie or not?  It definitely had some great moments but honestly it felt like a 20 minute SNL skit stretched out over 96 minutes.  Seth Rogan seems to now ascribe to the “if it was funny once, it will be funny four more times” school of humorous repetition.  Like so many modern comedies the story is basically the taxi that moves the film from set piece to set piece joke.  It also didn’t help that the best running gag of the film (the airbags inserting into normal seats) I have seen in trailers several dozen times.

Then there is the level of stupidity exhibited by the protagonists.  Drug movies are funny when you see stoners come up with dopey plans based on the gaps vacated by their long lost brain cells.  This is why I love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (image courtesy of the TV Show T Shirts).  The problem I had with these characters is they are supposed to be responsible adults with jobs and an infant but are coming out with plans that would seem dumb to Shaggy and Scooby Doo on angel dust.  The story is that Seth is an ex stoner who is trying to grow up but it just didn’t seem credible.  Also, while the baby was super duper cute and a big plus in the movie seeing her parents getting drunk and stoned as hell but trying to listen to their baby monitor had me squirming in my seat for concern for her.  Having both your parents pass out drunk on the floor seems like a recipe for SIDS.  Also what was the deal with the two of them needing to have sex in the same room with the baby awake and mobile?  You are OK using your baby monitor to keep tabs on your kid from next door at a massive frat party while getting completely wasted and listening to very loud music but you can’t go into the next room and leave the door open a crack to keep from giving your kid some repressed trauma to work on in therapy in 25 years?

That being said there were some really excellent moments.  Some of the party scenes with Seth and Zac were really funny (especially the dance off) and if I hadn’t already seen it 50 times the air bag thing would have been hilarious.  There was a really cool growing up/bromance/homoerotic undercurrent going on between Zac’s character and Dave Franco’s.  I thought Rose Byrne crushed every scene and in my opinion stole a lot of the movie.  There were a few rated R topless scenes (including one that I both strongly suspect and hope were prosthetics for Rose Byrne.  When you see it you will understand) to keep things interesting and the final scene with Zac and Seth both topless was pretty amazing.

The story is basically the ultimate nightmare of suburban college town living.  Mac Radner (Seth Rogan-This is the End, Guilt Trip, 50/50) and Kelly Radner (Rose Byrne-the Internship, X-Men First Class, 28 Weeks Later) live in suburbia with their super cute infant daughter Stella (played by twin babies Ellise and Zoey Vargas.  Kind of a clever way of getting more work out of a baby actor.  No other credits, obviously, unless they did some indy “in the womb” piece).  Their life seems pristine and Mac still gets to spark the owl with his work stoner buddy Jimmy (Ike Barinholtz-the Awesomes, Eastbound and Down, the Mindy Project).

The house next door gets sold to a frat led by president Teddy Sanders (Zac Efron-the Lucky One, the Paper Boy, At Any Price) and vice pres Pete (Dave Franco-21 Jump Street, Now You See Me, Warm Bodies).  The Radners head over to try to make nice and seem to do well.  The frat is dedicated to partying epically on all levels and throws a huge one that night.  Mac and Kelly head over to ask nicely for them to turn down the music and Teddy is accommodating, even inviting them in to join the party.  The two of them rage until dawn (newborn babies sleep all night with epically loud techno music playing next door, right?) and Teddy and Mac bond.

Unfortunately the next night there is another party and they have to call the police.  The worst cop ever shows up and rats out the Radners.  At that point it becomes a fragmented Animal House with Mac in the role of Dean Wormer.  He tries to go to the dean of the school (played very unconvincingly by Lisa Kudrow.  Sorry Lisa.  I do love you but you looked like you were attending the frat parties, not regulating them.  I mean that as a compliment.  -Friends, Analyze This, Easy A) who is more motivated to control bad press than make sure students get a quality eduction.  Sit com-style episodes start rolling down the chute.  Mac finds Stella chewing on a condom, he busts a pipe and floods the frat house basement, the frat makes molds of their erect penises and uses them to sell sex toys (I’m sure that joke looked a lot funnier on paper, and by on paper I mean rolling paper) in order to pay for the damage, Kelly manages to force a wedge between Pete and Teddy, yada yada yada.

Honestly things just keep going until party Armageddon.  Eventually everything comes to a head and then later sort of resolves itself in a very tepid and unsatisfying way.

The stars:

Some really funny moments.  Two stars.  Acting was in general pretty good.  One star.  Rose Byrne in particular killed it.  One star.  I thought the sub plot of Teddy and Pete having a serious bromance and facing growing up was better done and more interesting than the main story.  Kind of wish they had played that one out more.  One star.  Every woman in this film was at least super hot (especially Rose.  I don’t see any mention of a husband on IMDB.  Hmm.  Rose if you are reading this and are single it would be my honor to take you out to the most romantic dinner $27 can buy.  Tweet me).  One star.  Some brief but nice topless shots (the Rose one is a wash at best however.  It almost earned this film a black hole).  One star.  If you enjoy watching young people party their asses off and drug/booze humor works for you welcome to Nirvana.  One star.  Total: eight stars.

The black holes:

I don’t know about you but I find it very difficult to identify with stupid protagonists.  One black hole.  After a while the set pieces got old and I found myself yearning for an actual story.  One black hole.  If this were real life there would be legitimate concern for the safety of the baby and that is something I don’t consider funny.  One black hole.  I really, really want to black hole this movie for Zac Efron but honestly he did an admirable job (and I secretly suspect he could be cool to hang with).  I also want to black hole this film for showing kids having more fun in 10 minutes of college than I had in five years (word to the wise, kids.  If you want to enjoy college choose any other UC than Irvine.  Really, who wants to call themselves an Anteater anyway?) but this is where I put on my grown up reviewer pants and keep my personal bias out of it.  Total: three black holes.

A grand total of five stars, which for me puts it at the bottom of the good category (mediocre tends to be 3 stars down to 2 black holes.  I honestly don’t know why but that is how it seems to work out).  Should you see it?  Sober?  Maybe.  Drunk and/or stoned?  Absolutely.  This is a film that will seem 100 times better if you can blaze up and loc it in the parking lot with a fifth of vodka and a pint of orange juice prior.  Date movie?  Sure.  Nothing here to creep her out and if she finds this funny it might help.  On the other hand every second she sees Zac Efron with his shirt off (and there are a lot of them) you are bleeding sex appeal so maybe not.  Bathroom break?  Any of the Dean meetings could be missed with impunity assuming you saw Animal House and understand how double secret probation works (although in this case it’s three strikes).

Thanks for reading as always.  The film world still in Spider-Man recovery so not a lot more to see.  I think I will try to catch up on some smaller fish that slipped my net, but I have two shows back to back the next two weekends (Big Wow in San Jose and Kublacon in Burlingame.  If you are going to be at either stop by and say hi) and that always screws up my writing schedule.  Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu (<–Rose take note) or email questions and suggestions to [email protected].  Comments on this film or my review can be left right here.  Have a great weekend.

“the Infamous” Dave Inman

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