No mercy for Anakin Skywalker
So I was thinking about Star Wars Revenge of the Sith. It was probably the best of the three recent ones, although that doesn’t really say much. However, something about the ending has always bugged me.
Here’s the thing. Anakin Skywalker gets horrible burned and dismembered by Obi Wan, the man who raised and trained him from age eight. Now either Obi Wan was feeling bad about the ending to which Anakin had found and was taken by emotions for the young man he raised from a child, or he felt that Anakin had been to far corrupted by the Dark Side and was beyond redemption. If the former then he probably would have sought medical help for young Anakin in hopes of saving his life. If the latter he probably would have given Anakin the coup de grace in order to end his suffering.
What I sincerely doubt he would have done was leave Anakin to twitch off an die a horrible, agonizing death. Sure, he got picked up by the Emperor but Obi Wan had no way of knowing that was going to happen. If I ever lose three limbs and suffer burns over 90% of my remaining body for God’s sake put a bullet in me. I guess Lucas has never heard of a mercy kill.
Of course the Who’s Your Daddy picture comes from Dave’s Star Wars t shirt collection. Hilarious.
Jason
A questions about the most recent Star Trek movie.
I’m not the fanatic Dave is, but when I saw the recent reboot for Star Trek a big question popped into my head. Here it is:
If the Romulans could go back in time to destroy Earth and Vulcan as revenge for their own planet being destroyed, why not just to to Romulus and warn them of the impending doom headed their way? While there they could have given the Romulans their ship, giving the Romulan Empire a technology edge that probably would have let them conquer the Federation. Then, by the time the super nova hit Romulus they could all be living on Earth. It’s not like they were worried about destroying the time line.
Dave says time travel is a hard plot device to use competanly, and I’m starting to see what he means. I still enjoyed the movie, but this is kind of dumb. This image I got from Dave’s Star Trek t-shirt collection. He has a ton.
Jason
A question about Star Trek 3 the Search for Spock
So I have been posting odd movie questions lately and wanted to ask this one because I know it will bug the hell out of Dave. He is a screaming Star Trek fan. Here it is:
If Genesis caused the germ cells on the Spocks coffin to hyper evolved into giant mutant worms in a few hours, why would it cause the highly radioactive cells of Spocks body to simply create a new Spock? Shouldn’t his body have either evolved into a billion other weird little creatures? Or hyper evolve into a super advanced Vulcan? Or since he was all radioactive and the DNA probably all messed up into Spock with like eight arms (Octospock)?
While we are on the subject, it is shown that Spock’s new body was growing up from a child, which really implies that at some point it was a baby. What, exactly, did that baby eat or drink? If it grew up so fast it must have been eating like 10 times it’s body weight every day. Grass? Since there were no animals on the planet that would imply no need for the plants to evolved into something edible. I didn’t see a lot of water around there too. Even if he did find edible grass and rocks to suck on wouldn’t he have suffered from massive malnourishment?
I love this question. The image I found in Dave’s Star Trek collection. He has like a million Star Trek t-shirts.
Jason
The first disconcerting rumble from the new Spider Man movie.
I saw a trailer for the new Spider Man move and I have to say I had my first “Uh oh” moment. First of all, the one thing that Toby Maguire had right was he looked like the kind of dork Peter Parker really was. They managed to emo that out of him in the last movie, but he looked exactly like what I would imagine Parker looking like. This new kid looks like some kind of male model. Sure that might work for the girls out there, but are they really the target audience for this film?
The second thing was in all the Spider Man comics I read in my life I can count on like three fingers the number of times he would run around in costume but without the mask. It was so a part of his personality that he even wore it in the Marvel Zombies series. Yet the trailers show him without mask more than with. I guess they want to show the new guys pretty face.
Finally, while I know the quest to find Peter Parkers lost parents was a part of a few comics, first of all it wasn’t the burning question on his mind all his life. He had a very pleasant childhood with Ben and May and until the Ultimate series never even seemed to care that much. Furthermore, when he did find out he had to go to Algiers to investigate. Another thing that made Spider Man so cool was the fact that Parker was pretty much an average kid like everyone else, but this movie seems to want to make him out to some kind of “chosen one” or something.
On the other hand it looks like they are bringing back the mechanical web shooters, which I like. That whole shooting webs out of your arm sounded lazy to me. Also, technically if he could organically shoot webs out of his body shouldn’t the web spinners have been coming out of his butt?
The Spider Man image comes from Dave’s Marvel comic t shirt collection, by the way.
Jason
Another question from the Phantom Menace
Sorry to go back to this one, but this movie has a bunch of things that I have to wonder about. Dave would say it’s because Lucas is an incompetent move making moron, but I think when he wrote it he figured the movie would appeal more to kids than adults and therefore didn’t have to bother with stuff like continuity or making sense. Kind of like when you are telling kids the story of Santa Claus you really don’t have too get to deep into his back story.
So the question for the day is this: If the Trade Federation was going to conquer Naboo and the only real target was the capital city, why did they set their entire army on the opposite side of the planet and then travel over land? I would park my army outside the gates. It was established that Naboo really didn’t have much in the way of defenses, but even if they did I think it would be worth losing a few more droids in order to not give them weeks to prepare a defense. For that matter, given the fact that the army seemed to moving a leisurely walk, it could have taken months to get there.
You might ask how I know that they landed on the other side of the planet. Well, the fact is the quickest way to the Naboo city was through the planets core implying a distance of at least several thousand miles.
Dumb question, but it has been bugging me. The Republic logo I found in Dave’s Star Wars tshirt collection.
Jason
A question about Robocop
The question I put out yesterday about Anakin Skywalker finding a child sized helmet in the cockpit of the Naboo fighter got me thinking about a bunch of other movie questions, and I thought I would pose a few here. The first one comes from the movie Robocop. It is this: given the thousands of rounds that have shot Robocop during the three movies, how come not one of them ever hit him in the unarmored lower half of his face? ED-209 shot the hell out of him, and Robocop 2 used a Minigun on him. You would think at some point one of those bullets would catch him in the mouth.
For that matter, why would Omni Consumer Products completely armor him in bulletproof impervium and then leave half his face exposed? Was the need to deliver deadpan, emotionless facial expressions that necessary?
The OCP logo I pulled form one of Dave’s movie t shirts. Good logo for an evil company IMO.
Jason
The biggest question from the Phantom Menace
Dave wrote a long blog about the whole Star Wars versus Star Trek thing. Personally I think they both suck and for the most part always have, although if you put a gun to my head I guess I would have to vote Trek. However, while arguing with Dave about it I was reminded of the ultimate question from Phantom Menace. If your mind is ready to be blown apart here it is:
“Where the hell did eight year old Anakin Skywalker find a child sized helmet inside the cockpit of a Naboo fighter normally piloted by an adult???”
That’s pretty much it. I guess Lucas believes in child safety strongly enough to put the continuity of his film in serious jeopardy. The Who’s your Daddy image I found in Dave’s Star Wars t shirts. I find it funny, but also creepy when you see adult Padme connecting with eight year old Anakin.
Jason
Attack of the Eyebrows
I was looking at some posters for the upcoming Spider Man movie and I realized the kid they got to play Peter Parker, Andrew Garfield, has big bushy eyebrows. This would not really be worth mentioning were it not for the fact that this guy seems to just be the latest in a long run of young actors considered hot who come from the caterpillar school of eyebrow growth. The obvious one is Robert Pattinson, the Lord God of Eyebrows, but the list includes Chase Crawford, Josh Hartnet, Joe Jonas, Daniel Radcliffe, the Jonas Bros, Charlie Simpson, Pete Wentz, and Jesse McCartney who all seem to have been grown in a tube in the same laboratory by a mad scientist who’s goal is to make eyebrows insanely popular as some kind of plot to conquer the world.
I don’t think it’s a big deal, although I tend to find them distracting. The funny part will come when they develop cosmetic eyebrow hair plugs so guys who are less well endowed in the brow department can feel good about themselves. Eventually all hot guys are going to look like the Lorax. I am sure women will enjoy laughing at that.
This Spider Man image is from Dave’s Marvel Comic T Shirts. I do like Silver Age style art.
Jason
Batman hates the Bay Area?
So I heard that they are doing a tour with the Tumbler Batmobile and got really excited. I think the Tumbler is the best Batmobile they have ever come up with, even better than the original. However, I have discovered that they are completely ignoring the Bay Area on their 26 city tour. Here is the list in case you want to see it:
Is a Star Wars TV show really the way to go?
Unlike Dave, who has very strong opinions on what he calls the “whoring out of Star Wars ” by Lucas, I am honestly wondering. On the one hand, it can definitely be said that Lucas has milked so much out of his one cow that he should have enough dairy products to feed the nation. Between the six movies, all the comics, books, and video games you would think that eventually he would get tired of beating the same dead horse.
On the other hand, when I think about this I can’t help but think back to another mediocre movie that later was turned into an amazing TV show: Stargate SG1. The movie was definitely weak, but the show was amazing. Even if you don’t like it you can’t argue with the success of a show that went ten full seasons. Given the possibilities I think this could actually go somewhere, especially since they have announced that the TV show is going to be focused on the criminal elements for the Star Wars universe. In my head I see Boardwalk Empire in space, with the Hutts being the criminal kingpins.
However, Lucas doesn’t have a particularly good track record when it comes to doing something good while exploiting the only two good movies he made, so the possibility of this to suck is pretty high. I will watch it, and odds are have to listen to Dave bitch about it week after week. We’ll see.
This Japanese Star Wars image I got from Dave’s Star Wars T Shirt collection. It seems extremely cool.
Jason
