This should get Mark Twain spinning in his grave.
Before I start, I need to say that Dave lectured me on the importance of expressing my opinion as my own rather than doing it for big groups, as I did when I wrote in my post about Green Lantern. He’s not my dad, but technically he is my boss so I guess I have to listen to him. It is my personal opinion that the first GL movie sucked, and if they keep all the same writers and actors the next one will pretty much do the same.
The image I got from Dave’s comic book t-shirts. He sure has a lot of Green Lantern ones.
However, I just read that they are making a Tom Sawyer movie. This seems cool, but then I read that the story will be of Tom and Huck as adults, and feature supernatural elements. You know, one of the greatest and most racist stories of American literature done as a Scooby Doo cartoon. How does this make sense? Do the hacks in Hollywood really think they are better writers than Mark Twain, and therefore have license to write stories about his characters he never wanted to do? Maybe the supernatural element is them trying to channel Mark Twain’s ghost and writing what he wanted to write but never got around to.
Actually, a really funny story would be about some idiotic writers trying to pervert a classic novel and the ghost of the writer coming back to kill them as they sleep, like Freddy Kruger. In that case, however, I think I would go with Edger Allen Poe.
Jason
Expendables now to be Rated R
It looks like Sly Stallone and the rest of the producers for the Expendables 2 are caving into fan pressure and making the movie rated R. I am actually cool with that, as I am personally responsible for some of that outraged fan pressure. I posted twice on this blog bitching about it and am glad to see that sometimes spinelessness works for the little guy.
Now if only we could get George Lucas to actually listen to his fans and ex fans and maybe make a movie that doesn’t suck. Actually I would be cool if he just undid all the horrible stuff he did to the original trilogy like making Greedo shoot first. You know, George, listening to what the people who put money in your pocket want really isn’t a bad thing to do.
This Lego Star Wars shirt image I found in Dave’s Star Wars tshirts. I played the game and it is weirdly fun.
The other thing I want Lucas to not do is not make a Star Wars TV show like he plans to and not have it involve time travel so he can use every era he created. These things always suck. Talk about beating a dead horse.
Jason.
Incoming Green Lantern Suckquel
I have been reading a bit about the new Green Lantern sequel. Any fan of comics will tell you that the first one sucked. While I don’t pay attention things like writers and directors like Dave does it seems they are making a few positive changes and then a massive number of negative stay the sames.
The GL shirt I found in Dave’s DC comic t shirts, incidentally.
First off, they are apparently firing the director, Martin Campbell. Good move in my opinion. He really chocked it. However, they are keeping the same writers. How does that make sense? I mean, do they really think the writers from the first one did such a great job, or that they have some kind of connection to the Green Lantern story? If this was an original character they created that might be a good idea, but really the original creators all are the comic book writers. Get any lame hack in the world he he will have as much connection.
They say they are going to be relying less on CGI. Good move. There was way to much of it in all the wrong directions. But the biggest mistake they are going to make is they are keeping smarmy sleaze bucket Ryan Reynolds as the main guy. Is it remotely possible to hire someone who might take the part seriously and not smirk at the camera all day long? Maybe someone who understands comics. He wears a mask. He doesn’t have to be the biggest hearth throb in Hollywood. Get rid of him.
Jason
What’s the deal with Prometheus?
So I have been seeing a lot of trailers about the new movie Prometheus, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell is going on. Is it an Alien prequel? That seems to be the main thrust, and it does show the ship from Alien and some guy with something clamped to his face, but they don’t actually show any aliens. I see a lot of explosions and guys running around in space suits, but while the aliens are seriously implied they are never really shown or directly mentioned.
I for one would really enjoy a movie about aliens, but if this turns into one of those things where there is a lot of drama leading up to the appearance of the aliens and they only appear in the last 2 minutes I am going to be pissed. You know, kind of like the whole Star Wars prequels was supposed to be about Darth Vader and instead we get to see some whine emo kid acting badly, and the only time we actually see Darth Vader is at the end when he acts like a whiny emo kid who can’t act. Don’t do this to me again, dammit.
This cool Alien shirt I found in Dave’s movie t shirts. Talk to you soon.
Jason
Rumors about the Expendables 2 PG-13 rating are confirmed
I bitched about this a while ago. Back then it was only rumor, and most of that was laid at the feet of Chuch Norris wanting kids who don’t know anything about him or his career to have the chance to laugh at him. However, it has now been confirmed by Sylvester Stallone and they are all trying to defend the decision.
By the way, Dave has a bunch of Chuck Norris shirts on his site I could have used images from, but based on what his apparent interest is I think this novelty t shirt is more appropriate. Suck it, Chuck.
I don’t know how this movie could be anything like the first one when it is suffering under the PG-13 hammer. Must everything be kid friendly in life? They are worried about kids sneaking into the theater to see this film. So never make another Rated R movie? Why even bother to make movies with adults in them at all? 100% of all movie production should be cartoons, High School Musical, and Justin Bieber. You know, there are kids who use fake IDs to buy alcohol. All liquor should be replaced with fruit juice. Some kids have been known to drive a car without a license. Well, enjoy your new bicycle, since we need to keep kids safe from doing things that they are specifically prohibited from doing. When exactly did kids take over all entertainment? Kids can suck it too as far as I’m concerned.
Jason
X-Box 720 to have “Anti-Used Game” system?
It is pretty widely known that Microsoft if the Evil Empire of software companies, but this goes beyond the pale. Basically if I understood what I just read the new X-Box 720 is supposed to have a system in place to prevent the use of used games. How is that a good call on their part? Is it not enough that they already get a ton of money from the video game players out there? They have to stomp on all the kids who don’t have enough money to buy games new but have the patience to wait a few months to play it? How about old games from the 360 days? Are those wasted when you buy the new 720? Technically they are used.
Actually, what if I have a couple cool games and want to go over to a friends house and play them there? Is that no longer allowed? My friend is sick and I want to lend him some games so he can rest in bed? Oops. Microsoft says to hell with you.
When you think about it, when I sell a used car to someone the car manufacturer doesn’t get a chunk of the sale. They gave that up when they sold it to me. Sorry, but I am a big fan of used video games and this whole concept is driving me nuts.
The control freak shirt I found in Dave’s video game t shirts. Seemed kind of appropriate given Microsoft’s attitude.
Jason
They are working on a sequel to Chronicle, and I don’t know if it is really a good idea.
After Dave raved about Chronicle I went and saw it and really liked it. Cool idea, with a twist on the dumb found footage genre. I thought overall it was a really cool story.
I read early tonight that Fox is looking into making a sequel, and I think it’s kind of a dumb idea. Two of the three kids are dead, including the guy who was obsessed with recording everything. So what are they supposed to do now? Have the last kid run around as a superhero like every other dumb comic book movie? I thought the story was of the kids developing their powers and how each took it based on their personality. I think the whole having powers thing was secondary to the development of the characters.
Maybe they will dig up the thingie that gave them their powers and let another group of teenagers wreck house, but wouldn’t that just be a remake of the first one? What was that thing, anyway? Some kind of alien device? Are aliens really sending down glowing crystals that give humans super powers? What if that thing was actually a huge pile of alien toxic waste and when the kids got their powers they also all got brain cancer? That would make for a sort of interesting sequel, I guess.
This image, by the way, is the poster Moulder had in his office on the X-Files. I got it from Dave’s tv show t-shirts, although I think he is sold out on it. Cool shirt IMO.
Jason
Venom movie in the works
So I read online this morning that Sony is talking about a Venom spinoff. I am torn on this concept. On the one hand I love Venom and think he is a great character. On the other hand the last time he showed up in film he was about as bad as you could possibly make him. Could they have missed the point of Venom more? Maybe, if they made his costume pink or something. If Sony is going to do this, for god’s sake go with Eddie Brock (not Mac Gargan) and make him a muscle bound guy, not some wimpy kid designed to appeal to teeny boppers who like weedy girly man vampires.
The good news is it looks like the guy who directed Chronicle, Josh Trank, is going to do this and he seems to get it. I just wonder if Venom is going to be a villain or a hero, and if so who his enemy is going to be. Part of the whole appeal for Venom is his and Eddies obsession and complete hatred of Spider Man. At one point Brock and the symbiote came to be OK with Spider Man, but that was after years of wanting nothing but to squash him like a bug. I don’t know if they can recreate that obsession and make it believable for anyone else.
This shirt I found in Dave’s comic book t-shirts, by the way. Seems cool to me, especially if you are looking for a last minute costume. Talk to you later.
Jason
National Lampoon Vacation Reboot?
So I heard they are working on a reboot for Vacation, only with no Chevy Chase. I’m definitely not sure how I feel about that. I mean, the actual comedy written into the movie was kind of dumb. It was really Chevy who made this film what it was.
This version seems to be about Chevy’s son Rusty taking his own trip to Wally World. I’m kind of wracking my brain trying to figure out who could play the role and do well. Dave is better at the movie stuff than I am. I should ask him.
Anyway, this is another film that bugs me in that I don’t think it’s really needed. Vacation was pretty amazing, and honestly there is no major advancements in special effects or filming you could use to justify redoing or rebooting it. It’s a family in a car. I could film that on my camera phone. Once again it shows Hollywood as being desperate for any kind of inspiration. Obviously they are so lacking in creativity and new ideas that they have to keep falling back to old stand bys.
No real point here I guess. I just thought it was interesting. I am neither excited or really offended by this. I’ll wait to see what they produce. The image I found in Dave’s movie tshirt category.
Jason
Wyoming wants to create it’s own Navy?
So I read today on the Drudge Report that State Representative Kermit Brown of Wyoming had put a bill forward that passed that creates a commission study options in case of a nationwide economic or political collapse. While I may or may not question the need of such a bill, I saw something really funny in it. The bill wants to study options for creating Wyoming currency, starting up a draft, creating it’s own standing army, acquiring aircraft for an air force, and best of all, acquiring an aircraft carrier.
Now I may not have gotten all A’s in geography back in high school, but apparently I am better at it than State Representative Brown because I happen to know that Wyoming is completely landlocked. The nearest ocean is the Pacific, which is at least 600 miles and two states away. What oceanic interests would they need to protect? Where would they dock it? I mean, if you are going to front a bill that could be interpreted as silly by any number of political opponents why would you include a provision that takes it from the kind of silly category and catapults into the whoopee cushion zone?
Anyway, I thought it was funny. This Titanic image I found in Dave’s funny t shirts. Have a good one.
Jason
