Jim Carrey drops out of Dumb and Dumber 2
Rumor has it the studios were working on a sequel to Dumb & Dumber, starring both Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels playing their roles 20 years after the first movie and Jim dropped out after deciding that the executives really weren’t that into it.
I’m kind of torn on this one. I loved Dumb & Dumber and think it’s one of the best movies Jim Carrey ever did. There’s a part of me that wants to see what they could do in a sequel. However, there is another part of me that thinks that movie stands up pretty well all on it’s own, and doesn’t really need a sequel of any kind. The chances of this movie sucking and making me enjoy the first movie less are considerable, especially when you consider the fact that the last movie the Farrelly Bros did was the remake of the Three Stooges. Maybe they lost their magic.
Bottom line, I am kind of OK either way. If they don’t do it I still have the great first movie to enjoy, and if they do make it it could be really great and worth watching.
The good part about this post is I didn’t have to look hard to find an image. Dave had this gem right in his movie t shirt collection.
Jason
A Nerds-eye view of Venice, Italy Day 6-7
The good, the bad, and the nerdy.
Sorry I didn’t post day 6 yesterday, but the “business” hotel I was staying at was under the impression that a functioning internet connection is something business people really don’t need. (By the way, my company saw fit to give me a major award. I don’t want to brag, but the words “of the Year” were part of it, as was a nice cash bonus that I blew on an Italian watch that I don’t need)
My life in Venice has evolved nicely. I still get lost, but now know enough to get unlost with a minimum of effort. I have had a couple of complete conversations in Italian (as long as ordering a single scoop of mint (menta) gelato on a cone (cona) counts as a conversation. Incidentally, I think I have eaten my body weight in gelato), can ride both the train (ferravia) and water bus (vaporetti) reasonably confident I will arrive within a reasonable distance of my destination, and have taken about 200 photos with my iPhone. I will post them up on Facebook so if you want to see be sure to friend me.
I will say I have discovered the difference for me between good days and bad days in Venice, and they all involved having something specific to do. Yesterday our business group was given a scavenger hunt to do with things to do and see and I was off like a racehorse, running from one side of the town to another (I skipped all the ones on the list that seemed outside of my skill set (Kiss an Italian girl) or potentially disease ridden (swim in the Grand Canal, see how many pidgins you can get to perch on you) and therefore lost to a guy in our groups who is a known creep with balls of steel who will talk to any girl for any reason and has no fear (apparently) of tuberculous. However, I had a freaking blast.
Today, however, I was on my own kind of wandering around and found myself subject to the pity pot as I looked all all the beautiful girls I seemed incapable of talking to. I can tell you that my lack of skills in “picking up” girls or even just talking to them is not at all improved when I lack a common language or cultural basis. I can also tell you that when I do finally conquer the world any guy I perceive as being a “ladies man” is going to be sweeping out the inside of a nuclear reactor in blue jeans toot sweet.
Bottom line, I need goals to keep me from dwelling on my miserable loneliness (now that I think about it, that’s pretty much how I keep from driving off the Bay Bridge back home). From now on I plan to have something specific to do each day.
I thought since I am mostly done with the trip and only have two days left I would talk about some of the things I have seen that are amazing, some of the things that seem to suck, and what I see as the nerd influence on this country.
The Good:
The Toilets: I had never imagined that the toilet technology could be so far advanced over the pathetic excuses for plumbing we used back in the USA, but it is true. Each toilet has two buttons on it for flushing. The small one is pretty much for a number one and will eliminate any liquid waste in the bowl efficiently. 
The large button is for number 2 and will eliminate anything in the bathroom that is not securely fastened down. I swear it’s like blowing open an airlock door (“Open the pod bay doors, Hal”. 2001 image courtesy of the Movie T Shirt category). Your ears will pop from the decompression.
They also have pay bathrooms over here. They cost between 1 and 1.5 Euros. This might sound annoying, but the bathrooms are absolutely spotlessly clean. I swear I would pay a buck each time to use a bathroom that clean in my own apartment.
The Girls: as much as these girls pain me due to my inability to talk to them (I blame my father) there are some of the most gorgeous girls you would ever hope to see. If you have any kind of game at all get your ass on a plane. Just don’t tell me of your success.
The Euro: I have gotten to be a big fan of the 1 and 2 Euro coin. It is super handy. Makes me sad that the gold dollar never took off in the USA, but you know how it goes over there. Most of the ignorant masses can’t wrap their heads around gay marriage, so imagine how their brains must fail when faced with a new coin to figure out.
The Food: obviously. Of course, any ethnic food you eat that is not Italian will have a definite Italian flavor.
The Public Transit: do any of you regular readers remember me bitching about how much BART sucks from a few days ago? Well, the Italians have public transit wired. Easily accessible, efficient (ish), and generally clean.
The Art and Architecture: if you get out here see some churches and museums. Well worth your time.
The Bad:
The Euro: I’m finding money awfully easy to spend over here, and that has to do with the fact that the Euro might look like a dollar but really it’s currently $1.30. That means when I buy a 20 oz (0.5 liter) bottle of soda that costs $1.79 at the gas station down the street back home for 2.50 Euros (by the way, if anyone knows how to make a Euro symbol on an American keyboard hit me up) you are really spending $3.25 or so.
The Technology: while they do have some cool stuff we don’t really use back in USA, most of their technology seems about five years behind the curve. The best internet you can hope for is a WiFi that seems more like dialup, and a lot of people are still using flip phones.
The T-Shirts: I have been looking for cool shirts to bring home with me, but my god are they all awful. They seem to alternate between retro-horrible and just plain dumb. Makes me think about opening a t-shirt shop here just to show these poor people what cool shirts look like. Not only are the shirt dumb, but they are using the most basic and lame printing techniques ever. Ironically, all the shirt blanks are amazing quality, although be prepared to upsize as the XL definitely fits like a L. Also, every t-shirt stand or shop has the exact same shirts as their neighbor.
The Media: Pop music sucks when done competently. Here it all sounds like the dumped a dozen pop singers into a cement mixer, filled it with helium and broken glass, and let it run for a couple hours. The TV is not much better, unless you are into soccer (football). It seems to most closely resemble Mexicali.
The Night Life: Maybe it’s just me (actually it’s probably more than just maybe) but I can’t seem to find any kind of night life here beyond eating dinner and drinking wine. I have yet to find a coffee house, club, or bar that has more than six people in it (in fact, for some reason I can’t find a coffee house to save my life. I swear I would be there now if it existed). Most of the bars are just that: a bar with no seating and no big clientele. I’m guessing that Venice is such a city for couples that they don’t feel the need to help single losers hook up. Either that or I have somehow missed the entire “fun” district.
The Nerdy:
I can honestly say I think Italy is a county populated entirely by nerds. I’m sure they have their “cool kids” but everyone I see looks and acts like a non English speaking American nerd. They are into weird stuff, wear dorky clothes, and rarely look like they spend a lot of time in the gym. Of course, I don’t know a true nerd who isn’t up until 1am and most of this city seems to be in bed by 10:30pm, but still, if you want to feel kind of cool you can’t go wrong here.
I did check out the local Games Workshop and a few comic book shops around town, but honestly for the most part the customers there looked a lot like the customers I saw in any other shop.
By the way girls here are less inclined to get contacts or laser eye surgery so if you are into the girl librarian nerd you don’t have to look far. Very nice (and frustrating for me).
Thanks for reading. Long post but I had a lot to say. I think I am taking a train ride to Florence tomorrow. More on that soon. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. If you have comments about this post or Italy feel free to throw them up here, or if you have specific questions or suggestions that are off topic email me at [email protected]. Thanks again. Talk to you soon.
Dave
A nerds-eye view of Venice, Italy day 5
Kind of a weird day. The first half of the day was international meetings, which were productive but kind of not at the same time. Most of it was marketing, which are rarely as interesting or informative as most marketing people seem to think. Why is it marketing people are usually my favorite people to meet and hang out with but the meetings I dread the most?
Anyway, after a full day of meetings at the modern nightmare that was our hotel we went skating. It was fun, and I got to teach a couple Italians how to skate better. I have always enjoyed that and feel like I ma making the world a better place, at least as far as skaters goes.
We then went to a gorgeous villa for dinner. It is here that I fell into conversation with a beautiful, interesting, and highly intelligent Bavarian girl. To say I was captivated is a huge understatement. It could almost be said I was totally falling for her. We literally talked all the way through dinner, the bus ride home to our hotel, and the hotel bar until about 1:30am. Inexplicably the evening ended without even a handshake. I wasn’t expecting to hook up with her or anything like that but it seemed a little abrupt. It didn’t help that my ass hat American friends kept telling me I should be hooking up with her that night. However, I consider the entire evening more evidence of my hellish Tantalus-esque existence as well as my inability to make any kind of positive impression on attractive females.
I honestly don’t have a lot more to report. I only slept about two hours, mainly because I kept thinking about the girl but my issue was aggravated by the snore my roommate, whom I have roomed with at every sales meeting for the last ten years with nary a problem, seems to have recently developed. Looks like I will be drinking lots of caffeine.
Today is more meetings. Tomorrow we are doing a scavenger hunt in Venice. Given the three days I have already spent there I should have a significant advantage, but the prizes for these things are rarely things I want so I might duck out and finally write up that Snow White review.
I talked to Jason via last night via Skype before bed and he told me Prometheus was pretty cool. He is less the descriminating viewer than I (he liked Priest) but that doesn’t necessarily mean this movie will be bad (Alien image courtesy of the Movie T Shirt category). I will see it as soon as I get home. Talk to you soon.
Dave
Goodbye Ray Bradbury
This one really sucks to do. Ray Bradbury, author of the Martian Chronicles, died Tuesday after a long illness.
I know I have said before of other authors that they had an impact on my life, but Ray Bradbury was probably the start of my inevitably (and enjoyable) journey to nerddom. I read the Martian Chronicles in grade school and I can say they opened my eyes to the possibility of something other than this drab, mundane, and more or less meaningless world we humans infest.
The idea of being able to go to another world and colonize it captured my imagination like nothing else. Of course, Bradbury was a genius when it came to creating poetic, otherworldly landscapes with words, so it was easy to see what he saw.
Even more importantly, however, is the fact that in addition to being a welcome escape in my childhood he inspired a generation of authors who took me to other worlds on a daily basis. Ask any author of that generation worth his or her salt who their early inspirations were and most of them will list Bradbury. He was truly a pioneering and wonderous author. I will truly miss him.
I didn’t really have any good Martian images so I just grabbed this Mars Attacks! shirt from the Movie T Shirt collection. I’m pretty sure this movie would not have come to be had Bradbury not been around.
Dave
Dumb movie question from Star Wars Episode 4
Dave’s on his way to Italy, so it falls on me post blogs. Actually, he told me he has two reviews lined up and will try to post them from Italy, as well as talk about his time there. I expect a lot of pasta stories. Anyway, I know the easy ones to hit are episodes 1-3, but here is a question that has bugged me for a while about Episode 4.
The Death Star arrives in the system with the Rebel base. They are behind the main planet and have to wait 30 minutes to clear it and get a shot at the moon that the base is on, giving Luke and friends the time they need to hit the exhaust port. However, the Death Star is armed with a giant planet destroying turbo laser. Why not just save the time and blow up the main planet? The shockwave and debris alone would probably destroy the moon the base is on. It’s not like Tarkin was that interested in not blowing up planets. Would have been a huge time saver, and in Jedi they were shooting that thing off all the time, so you can’t say it would need to recharge.
For that matter, if blowing up the Death Star was a million to one chance, why weren’t the rebels bugging the hell out of there? They couldn’t leave Hoth fast enough in the next movie. I would have abandoned that base but left the fighters behind to go for that last ditch chance. Makes sense to me.
This cool Japanese Star Wars image I got from Dave’s movie t shirt collection by the way.
Jason
Chernobyl Diaries Review
Dear diary, Last night I ate dinner off a roach coach, met a beautiful girl with amazing eyes, and almost wetted myself watching a scary but by-the-numbers horror movie.
This is another review where I will be in disagreement with most of the other reviewers out there. Most of them can’t seem to find a score low enough to give this film, but as a horror movie I can honestly say I spent most of the movie honestly scared. Sure, it was a pretty rote rendition of a traditional horror movie, and there were any number of problems I will happily dump on in a few lines, but if you use how frightened you get as your horror movie barometer than I can honestly say this one succeeded pretty well.
The Chernobly image, from Hot Tube Time Machine, comes to us courtesy of the Movie T Shirt category.
One of the main issues I had, however, was the fact that the director couldn’t decide if he was doing a found footage film or a classic film. The camera had all the gremlins that plague found footage: jittery, nausea inducing movement; horrible out of focus shots; bad lighting; stunted story and character development; and an editor that seems to feel he is paying for cuts out of his own pocket. However, it had none of the benefits of the found footage genre: a sense that you are in the scene operating the camera; the occasional fourth wall breaking mirror or camera passing shot that makes things seem more real; or the understanding that when the final scene cuts out it’s because the the camera man just got impaled on a length of rebar, not because they just ran out of things to shoot. (If you want to see what I am talking about in all these watch Trollhunter, a great Norwegian film (By the way, just as an aside a movie is not automatically good just because it comes from Norway. I recently saw Norwegian Ninja and I’ve never seen a movie that looked more like dog vomit before))
SPOILER ALERT: I will be throwing in some spoilers here so if you hate them maybe skip ahead to the summary paragraph. One of the other big issues I had with this movie is the kids in it are being stalked, hunted, and chased by…something? Mutants? Animals? Aliens? Crazy humans? Supernatural creatures? C.H.U.D.s? It seems the producers didn’t want to have to pay for special effects, makeup, or extras with a face so they more or less skipped the whole “actually have something after the protagonists” phase. Even the reveal at the end of the film is both vague and underwhelming. What’s sad is the movie did an admirable job of ramping up the terror level through vague unease, dangerous but explainable attacks, through to full blown pee pee pants scary. However, in this horror movie formula at some point towards the end of the second act they are supposed to reveal the actual face of the horror. In this film they more or less exhausted the incredibly long list of excuses a film could use to never have a clear camera shot or flashlight shone into the enemies face.
The story plays out a lot like a survival horror video game, and in this case that game would be S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Cherobyl (I think maybe one of the reasons I like this film is I have always been partial to survival horror games over true horror). Six of the stupidest tourists in the history of tourism sign up for a totally legitimate Russian tour guide to take them on a tour of Pripyat, the radioactive town abandoned after Cherobyl melted down (where does one go in the Ukraine to get a tour guide permit to take tourists through radioactive wastes? I must say I’m impressed with the Ukrainian Tourism Board). They are turned away by guards but take a back country road that should have had signs marked “This Way to Your Impending Doom” all over it. They get to Pripyat (to be fair to this movie, it was shot on location and the scenery was really damned cool) and walk around taking pictures. They get almost bowled over by a bear and opt out, only to find that someone has cut all their wires in the van. At that point they have to spend the night in the van. They get attacked by what look like wild dogs. One gets injured and at that point the survival begins. The tour guide gets eaten by something so they have to split up to find help. Things go from bad to worse when they get chased by dogs, attacked by water somethings, and then by humanish somethings. The somthings pick them off one by one in typical horror movie fashion.
The stars. The location shots were pretty cool, until they decided the best things to shoot were barren concrete tunnels. One star. Aside from the dumb decision to actually take the tour, none of the protagonists acted in what I would consider a really stupid manner. They more or less did what I would have done. One star. The girls were all pretty hot, especially the brunette (Devin Kelly-Refrigerator, the Chicago Code, Anchors). One star. While the whole film was rote and by the book, I was honestly frightened at times and felt my pulse quicken often. Two stars. I kind of liked Uri the tour guide (Dimitri Diatchenko-Get Smart, G.I. Jane, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). One star. Total: six stars.
The black holes. Jumpy camera for no reason. One black hole. Stilted, flat performances all around. One black hole. Never revealing anything beyond vague hints about the bad guys. One black hole. The very stupid decision to take the tour in the first place (honestly, Mr. and Mrs Howell made a better vacation plan),and a very laissez faire attitude regarding the dangers of radiation and rad buildup. One black hole. Rated R but it honestly felt like it could have been PG-13 except for the language. Add more violence or nudity IMO. One black hole. Total: five black holes.
A grand total of one star. Weird. I thought it would net out a little better than that. Once I get into the analysis I can sometimes be surprised. Worth seeing? If there is nothing else playing or MIB3 is sold out sure. Your blood will be moving. I’d day it’s on par with MIB, to be honest, but that’s because I found MIB to be painfully stupid. Date movie? Not really. I don’t think it’s jump out at you scary enough to get your date in your lap. I think is is a great one for watching while folding your laundry at home. Bathroom break? I can’t say there is any one scene really integral to the plot, so almost anywhere will do. However, try the scene where they are walking back to the van after the bear attacks or the scene where they split off and the kids are trying to avoid some dogs.
Thanks for reading. I have about 800 things to do today so will get going. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu or email me with questions or comments to [email protected]. If you saw this film and want to make a comment feel free to do so here. Talk to you soon.
Dave
Another dumb movie question: Beauty and the Beast
Since I couldn’t find any Beauty and the Beast images, I pulled this one from the Incredibles from Dave’s movie t shirt collection. Pixar is owned by Disney, right?
Anyway, here is the thing that doesn’t make sense to me from Beauty and the Beast. When the teapot is transformed back into a human woman she looks and sounds like she is about 70, but her child the teacup is like 5. How old was she when she had them? I thought they were all supposed to be kind of frozen time or something.
For that matter, how exactly does a three candle candelabra get amorous? He has burning candles for hands! That implies something either really dangerous or really pornographic, or both. Am I the only one confused by this?
Jason
A question about Robocop
The question I put out yesterday about Anakin Skywalker finding a child sized helmet in the cockpit of the Naboo fighter got me thinking about a bunch of other movie questions, and I thought I would pose a few here. The first one comes from the movie Robocop. It is this: given the thousands of rounds that have shot Robocop during the three movies, how come not one of them ever hit him in the unarmored lower half of his face? ED-209 shot the hell out of him, and Robocop 2 used a Minigun on him. You would think at some point one of those bullets would catch him in the mouth.
For that matter, why would Omni Consumer Products completely armor him in bulletproof impervium and then leave half his face exposed? Was the need to deliver deadpan, emotionless facial expressions that necessary?
The OCP logo I pulled form one of Dave’s movie t shirts. Good logo for an evil company IMO.
Jason
Safe Movie Review
I think it’s safe to say that Jason Stratham has found the movie vehicle that works for him; a decrepit, hole filled weak story that only serves as the delivery system for a series of really good driving, shooting, and martial arts action. It’s like taking a luxury passenger train and filling all the cars with fine food, quality entertainment, and the most interesting people on the planet and then hitching it to a three legged arthritic donkey instead of a locomotive. If you are looking for a story that goes somewhere and does something that doesn’t damage your brain you should probably have taken the express. On the other hand, if all you want to do is party in the back with all the explosions, car wrecks, and massive gun battles than look no further than this film.
I honestly don’t know where else to go with this review. It looks like the producers set out to make a decent action film and more or less accomplished that goal. As far as the story goes, it is pretty much Max Payne meets Terminator 2 with an 11 year old girl in place of young John Carter. There is a smattering of Hard Boiled and Generic Russian Mafia Movie A as well. Jason Stratham (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Killer Elite, the Expendables) plays Luke Wright, an ex cage fighter who failed to go down in a fight correctly and is now hated by the Russian mafia. His whole back story is explained to us in what I am going to call “flashback shotgun” style. In other words a massive cluster of flashbacks are loaded into a gun and shot against the wall in hopes that some of them would hit the target. For some inexplicable reason the gangsters opt to not kill him when they had the chance, leaving a dangerous man with awesome combat skills and nothing to lose. No danger of that going badly. Their plan is to somehow torture him by killing anyone he talks to for more than one sentence, starting with his wife. Anyway, we get another blast in the face with the flashback shotgun as we are introduced to Mei (Catherine Chan-Aftershock) an 11 year old girl from China who speaks flawless English and can memorize any numbers.
For some other weird reason the Chinese gangsters Mei has been drafted into working for think the best way to do a deal for some money is to create a code for a safe combination and have Mei memorize it. Did I mention that the story was stupid? They never heard of a several pieces of paper, or maybe just calling the person they are doing the deal with and telling the the safe combination via telephone? When you see the film you will see how amazingly needlessly complicated Mei’s involvement in the whole deal really is. The really convoluted and poorly explained deal goes badly and Mei barely escapes with her life.
At that point Luke rescues her and the action really kicks off. Naturally he has some kind of mysterious past and in spite of being a homeless bum is also some kind of unstoppable killing machine. Turns out he could have killed the Russians any time he wanted to but was looking for an excuse more meaningful than the death of his wife and the ruination of his life. He was also on the NYC police force but was kicked off for blowing the whistle on some corrupt cops.
So the girl is being chased by the Chinese mafia, the Russian mafia, and the corrupt police who all want her either alive or dead(?). At that point I really started scratching my head. It seems writer/director Boaz Yakin (Prince of Persia, Remember the Titans, Fresh) believes that cops in New York are corrupt enough to be party to the murder of an 11 year old girl. The action gets hot as the plot gets more convoluted and stupid. The cops are tricked into going on a raid of the Chinese casino (sans warrant) or something. Is asking for some semblance of sense in a movie really that much?
So, the stars. The action was in fact really good. Jason kicks, punches, shoots, and runs down a massive legion of bad guys in very cool and exciting ways. Three stars. As formulaic as he is, I actually really like the standard Stratham character. One star. The character Mei was pretty cool too. One star. All the villains were extremely well cast and portrayed as bad men. 
I especially enjoyed James Hong (Big Trouble in Little China, Hero, Kung Fu Panda. Pork Chop Express image courtesy of the Movie T Shirts) as the leader of the Chinese mafia. One star. I’m actually torn on this next one as I think it could be either a star or a black hole, but the fact is the film did not crowbar in a hot girl to be the dumb romance sub plot. I think I will give them a star for not insulting my intelligence. One star. Generally a fun movie. One star. Total: eight stars.
The black holes. If flashbacks were fortified wine, this movie contains enough to kill all the homeless people on Haight Street. One black hole. Dumb, overly complicated plot that didn’t make much sense and was riddle with plot holes. Two black holes. I’ll give one to this film in support of the NYC Police and my belief that for the most part they are not corrupt. One black hole. The guy playing the ultimate bad guy must have been in rehab or something for most of the shooting as he more or less surfaces out of no where in the last 20 minutes of the film. One black hole. Total: five black holes.
A total of three stars. Not bad, not great. Like I said before, if you are looking for action and don’t want to engage your fore brain much this film will do you. Date movie? Not really. A lot of rated R violence plus no romance will spoil it for the average girl. Also, Jason Stratham manages to get his shirt off within the first five minutes and unless you have been hitting the gym lately you will suffer in comparison. Bathroom break? I’d say about the time Luke and Mei check into the hotel so Luke can shower and not shave. Just a lot of reexplaining what just happened or being told stuff that becomes obvious later. Don’t take your time however as things heat up pretty good shortly.
I’d also like it noted that my observation from Killer Elite that Jason Stratham must have a five o’clock shadow written into his film contracts holds true in this one. He never shaves nor does he seem to grow any shaggier in spite of what looks like months of elapsed time.
Thanks for reading. I’ll see something else tomorrow night I think. My friend is showing 13 Assassins on Wednesday night so I might write something about that. I know it’s late but I really want to see it. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu or send me an email to [email protected] if you have specific questions or suggestions. Feel free to comment here if you have thoughts on this movie or review. Talk to you soon.
Dave
Stupid movie decisions: Machete Kills
So I read online today that Robert Rodriguez is going to make a sequel to Machete called Machete Kills. I think this will firmly cement him in the slot of movie directors who makes brilliant movies and then ruins them with really dumb and unnecessary sequels. He started the trend with El Mariachi, a great film done in Spanish with a relatively unknown cast only to nosedive it into the ground with the incredibly lame Desperado starring Antonio Bandaras. It’s like he never saw El Mariachi and missed the entire point that the guy was not supposed to be a super action guy but instead just an ordinary man in a bad situation.
Now he is going to take another great stand alone movie starring the great Danny Trejo and probably ruin that one too. I know Machete is is supposed to be over the top, but if you read the story summary you will be shocked at how lame the plot device. Also has cast Mel Gibson for this, which given his current popularity could rank up there as a really bad call too.
This Machete poster I found in Dave’s movie t shirts, by the way.
Of course not all of Robert Rodriguez’s first movies are good. After all, he did to the Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D. I wish that movie had come out recently so I could get Dave to go see it and then puke all over his keyboard while writing the review. That would be entertaining.
Jason
