Back from Vegas; Vernon Wells is really cool.
OK I have been seriously remiss about blogging ever since I left for Vegas. I got back on Monday night and have been up to my rear in trying to reconcile and re sort the inventory, not to mention pay bills and order replacement inventory.
Also, my day job dropped a painfully bad yet critically important project in my lap, and I have a big Warhammer tournament next weekend and have to do a lot of work to get ready for that. Plus I am spending another two days in Las Vegas for a trade show I go to to look at some new t-shirts. Just when I think my life can’t get any busier, I somehow find a new, previously unknown higher gear on the gearshift and go into another level of crazy busy.
Wah wah wah. Enough whining about my ridiculous life. Lets talk about the Star Trek Convention.
First of all, it was amazing. 15,000 hard core fans, all of them extremely cool. I got to see Shatner wandering the vendor area (trailed by about 300 fan boys), hung out with some minor celebrities, and met my future wife dressed as an extremely cute Vulcan. Unfortunately, she lives on the other side of the country, has a boyfriend, and really didn’t show any real interest in my, but heck, she was dressed as an extremely cute Vulcan.
One of the minor celebrities I met was a very cool Australian named Vernon Wells. Hopefully we all remember him as Wez from The Road Warrior. If not, he was the scariest man to ever wear a Mohawk, and if you knew some of my friends from my punk rock days you would understand what level that statement puts him at. We was also in Commando. He is a great guy with an awesome sense of humor.
Turns out his wife is a big Evil Dead fan and he wanted to get her this Necronomicon shirt from the horror movie t shirt category. He was such a nice guy that I traded him the shirt for an autographed photo. You have never seen a look so intense.
By the way, Vernon reprized his roll as Wez in the movie Weird Science, which was a big part of my teenage nerd days. Really cool.
Anyway, I’ll post more about the show later this week. Overall it was a wondrous experience and I highly recommend you all attend next year. If you do stop by and say hi at our booth.
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Making the call Part 4
Here’s where we talk about email or Facebook rather than a phone call.
I can’t think about Facebook these days without picturing this shirt (image courtesy of the horror t shirt category).
First of all, know that you are actually in for a bit of a more difficult time here. If a girl gives you an email or Facebook rather than a phone number that usually means she is less into you than she might have been. Email or Facebook is for girls a nice, soft way to blow you off without having to deal with rejecting you to your face. That being said, I have successfully dated women who I started off communicating via email, so don’t give up.
Like the voice mail, keep it simple. You can even follow the guideline I gave last post for voice mail. However, as there is more room to communicate there is a certain amount of pressure to make some kind of non-essential personal comment. I usually roll with a joke or something. You also have to have an modest idea of what you would like to take her out to do. Here is what a typical first email might look like:
“Hi (girl’s name here). You gave me your (email/Facebook page) the other day at the (event) where we (talked about something/did something together). Did you ever (find your contact lens/figure out who was wearing that clown outfit/put out that brushfire/etc)? LOL.
I was thinking we should (get coffee/see the movie she expressed interest in/go to the pistol range/go hiking/etc). That would be cool. Let me know how your schedule looks next week. You can call me at (your number here).
(Your name)”
This a pretty direct email, but personally I don’t like to mess around via email too much. I have found most women appreciate a direct approach. If she calls you things are looking good.
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 8
Sorry again about not posting as frequently as I would like, but I have been super busy getting ready for the Quake City Rumble, the biggest Warhammer tournament I do every year. It was this last weekend and I am happy to report that I received the Best Army award and placed 5th out of over 100 competitors. Now I should have some more time to continue with this guide for all you single nerd guys out there.
Ok, you’ve started a conversation, you’ve managed to not offend or disgust her, and things seem to be moving nicely. What next?
The answer is simple. Get her number (or email address) and bug out. DO NOT spend all night talking to her. I’ve covered that before, but really, you should get her number within 10-15 minutes of starting a conversation. If you have a limited time (bus is arriving, etc) make it quicker, but by no means extend the conversation beyond about 15 minutes. Get it quick.
Any experienced sales professional (I worked in sales for years) will tell you that you will never get the deal until you ask for it, and the same holds true for women. YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER. She will never volunteer to give you it. In fact, most women are so insecure that they will not even be sure that you like them until you ask. Asking her for her number will cement in her mind the idea that you like her and she will be able to tell you if she likes you or not (if she opts to not give you her number, the answer is she does not. Live with it). Also, if you don’t man up and ask odds are she will think you are some kind of wimp. Women like confidence.
I have always found that the best way to get a number or email address is, after a pleasant, engaging conversation (with her actively participating) is to say something like “Hey, we should hang out sometime.” Don’t be specific (unless she has expressed a massive interest in something. For example, if she has said she is a massive bull riding fan you could suggest going to a rodeo). She will know what you mean, and that will give you time to figure out what the hell you are going to do when you go out. If she thinks you are kind of cool, interesting, or sexy (remember all that grooming and dressing we did earlier?) she will probably say sure. You can also judge how much she likes you by the type of contact info she gives you. Here is a breakdown.
Cell phone number=Great!
Business card=Good.
Email address=Ok
Facebook page=Meh. (image courtesy of the horror movie t-shirts)
She takes your business card=Bleh.
She takes your number=Uh-oh.
By the way, even though giving her your card is second to the last worst result, it is always worth doing. Business cards cost about $.02 each and are well worth it for the “Hail Mary” when all else fails. I was out with a group once and gave a bunch of people my card and the one girl I liked ended up calling me. Don’t give up, but don’t really expect a call. By the way, always have business cards with you. You never know when something could drop in your life.
Put her number or email into your phone (hopefully iPhone).
Once you get her number or whatever, get out. There is a pattern to these things and once you get the number, in most people’s minds the conversation is done. Do not keep talking to here as it will only feel awkward and make you look really lame. Say something like “Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon” and move onto the next girl. Really. Don’t screw up all your work.
Next post, how to call and hopefully avoid this the let’s be friends speech.
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Grooming Part 2 Hair
I will admit there are guys out there who are able to go with wild, unkempt hair that somehow attract women by the bushel, but I am willing to bet a decent amount of money that most of the people reading this post are not in that category. Trust me, I grew my hair out to pony tail length twice and never accomplished anything but looking like a skinnier (relatively speaking) Meatloaf.
The simple rules for hair are fourfold: cut, wash, condition, and comb.
Cut your hair. Honestly, the shaggy look can only be successfully pulled by a very small minority. Like successful rock bands, for each success you see there are about 100 guys out there who are flailing madly with it (for bands it is about 10,000 failed band for each successful one. God knows I have found enough while linking stuff for t-shirts like the band Mr. Blonde I found for one of the Reservoir Dogs t-shirts from the movie t shirt section). Go with a clean cut look. And actually go somewhere and pay someone a good amount for the cut. Supercuts will not do. I usually pay about $50 for a haircut ($40 for the cut, and I tip my stylist $10. She is worth every penny) and it took me a couple years to find someone I trust. Also I find sitting in an actual salon listening to the women talk about guys very enlightening, if you catch my drift. Most good hairdressers can look at your hair and come up with a good look, so let him or her have free reign. If they screw it up go to someone else. Incidentally, there is no excuse for mullets.
Wash your hair with shampoo. I hesitate to say this, as I am sure there are guys out there who will take this as license to wash their hair once a month, but the fact is you shouldn’t wash your hair every day. Natural oils are the best thing for your hair and keep it looking good. I wash my hair every 2 or 3 days (I still bathe every day, of course). Use good shampoo. Wash, rinse, repeat.
After you have washed your hair use some conditioner. It will add body and health to your hair. I like to leave my conditioner in while I wash the rest of my body, then rinse it out. Don’t forget that part. I have.
Finally, comb your hair neatly. My hair tends to lie nicely where I comb it for most of the day, but if I want to look particularly sharp I will use some gel. If you are not sure how to best comb and/or style your hair, part of the $50 you are spending on your hairstylist can readily be applied to some instructions on what to do with your hair at home.
Finally, if you are unfortunately losing your hair, spare yourself the pain and do not get into plugs, spray on hair, or the worst hair decision a balding man can make, a combover. You are not fooling anyone at all. The thing to do is simple: shave it off. Go skin. You will gain respect for having embraced your condition, as well as saving a ton of time and money on washing, combing, and cutting your hair. Also you can make snide comments about hair loss being caused by all the excess testosterone you have oozing out of your pores. Seriously, just take it off. The guy who did the Mensa lecture shaves his scalp and has no problems with women.
Next Post: Shaving
Funny how perceptions change
So I went to movie night last night at a friend’s house and we watched John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness. I actually watched it in high school in a theater and thought it was pretty good. However, watching it in 2010 and it was pretty awful.
The worst part was the bad 80’s hair. Seriously, the women all looked like they were wearing crash helmets. Also the main character had one of the worst porn mustaches I have ever seen. The story made little to no sense (Jesus is actually an alien, and scientists from the future (1999) are beaming tachyon messages back in time that the characters can only pick up in their dreams in order to prevent the Prince of Darkness returning through a mirror), Alice Cooper is leader of a demonically possessed gang of homeless people (all right, that part made some sense), and scientists are willing to spend the night in an abandoned church with thousands of dollars worth of high tech (DOS based, for the most part) equipment in order to study a spinning light display box that I think I have seen in Spencers Gifts. Also, the really cute brunette was second to be possessed by the evil (and somehow still looked uber hot) yet the mediocre red head (her hair looked like a furry R2D2) was last to go. Overall horrible, yet I liked it at age 16. Go figure.
The only thing redeeming about it was Vincent Wong (Egg Chen, from the great Big Trouble in Little China) plays a squinty eyed physics professor who can somehow read Latin fluently. The main character is some chump I don’t remember in anything else (and apparently survives through the protective power of his uber mustache).
Anyway, the whole thing is hardly worth mentioning, except for the fact that I actually liked it years ago. Weird. I am suggesting we watch a good movie next week. My suggestion was Carrie, as seen on this shirt from the horror movie t shirt section. Don’t go out of your way to see this movie, unless big hair turns you on.
Gearing up for WonderCon
Set up for WonderCon starts tomorrow, and if there’s one thing I have learned after many, many shows it’s that the early bird gets the worm/power outlet/hand truck/better space/free donut. Therefore I am dedicating tonight (after a quick Warhammer game) to packing up my t shirts and loading up the car. Most likely we are talking about a couple trips, but it should go pretty smoothly. The worst part is tying my gridwall to the roof of my car. I always feel incredibly white trash doing that.
I have a feeling that zombie t-shirts are going to be a big hit at this show, and have stocked up accordingly. Also I am doing that Zombie Prom Saturday night and want to make sure I have plenty of zombie shirts for that. Not sure how that is going to go, but could be fun.
If any of you are going to WonderCon please stop by and say hi. Also, if any of you watched V let me know how it was. I was going to go to a friends house to watch it but that fell apart. Talk to you soon.
Having a couple of great days
So after bitching about WOW the other day I decided to just mess around a little. I ran Strat and had the very rare Baron’s mount drop for me. Happy days. I also had a great dinner last night with a friend and it was a lot of fun.
Apparently she has never watched a zombie movie, so it fall unto me to educate her on the wonders of zombie films. I think the best way to ease her into it would be with Shawn of the Dead, as it is probably the easiest one to start off with. I was really happy to get this shirt into the zombie movie t shirt section, and am a huge fan.
Anyway, raid night tonight. I might get my raid slot back by going BM but have to convince the officers it’s a good idea. We’ll see.
The irony is killing me
So I logged onto the USPS website to order some shipping labels and get my orders out in a timely manner. They ask me to fill out a quick survey and I obliged. Up until now the service has been excellent and I more or less said so. After lauding them on their survey I try to print my shipping labels and their entire website collapses. Ironic.
Makes me think there are dark powers at work in the universe, sometimes, like our good friend Cthulhu and they are actively trying to aggravate me. I know this is paranoid, but when you kill Deathwhisper 20 times and fail to see the bow that other raids are disenchanting left and right even once it encourages paranoid thoughts. Besides, I wouldn’t be so paranoid if people weren’t out to get me.
Anyway, I am more or less killing time hoping USPS gets their site fixed. I have things to do today.
Evil Dead the Musical
I mentioned the other day that when Dave sent me a copy of the movie Special he also sent me a music CD. It’s the soundtrack to the Evil Dead, the Musical. I am, of course, a huge Evil Dead fan (I used to say Sam Raime fan, until I saw what he did to the last Spiderman movie. Poor Peter Parker) and own all three movies (special collectors editions, with the rubber Necronomicon cover that scream when you press the eye). Evil Dead 2 is my fav, but all three have something worth watching. For some reason, I can only find Army of Darkness shirts like this one from the horror movie t shirt section. Weird.
Anyway, I listened to the CD yesterday. It’s funny, but not great if you know what I mean. I love the soundtrack to Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, so it’s not that I hate musical theater, but somehow it’s just not that funny. Too obvious, and way too upbeat for the Evil Dead in my less-than-humble opinion.
Anyway, it’s still funny, but it won’t make it into my regular music rotation. I am having a much better day today than yesterday. No parking tickets, no getting my ass beat in Warhammer (last night’s game was a little on the painful side), and getting a lot of work done. Good day all around.
Parking tickets suck, and a guy bought one of my favorite shirts
So I got a parking ticket tonight for being 12 inches into a red zone. I know I’m at fault but you would think that after about 8pm the meter maids would have other things to do. Oakland is hurting for cash, and has decided the best way to solve their problems is to put it’s residents in as much pain as possible.
The irony is in the movie I watched last night, Special, the main character is a meter maid. All of a sudden I have a lot less sympathy for him.
Earlier a guy was the first to buy one of my favorite shirts, Lego Leatherface from my horror movie t shirt section. I love Lego and think this is so freaking cool. Good to know there are other guys out there with good taste in t shirts. Anyway, I am mostly bitching about parking tickets on this one. I’ll do a better blog tomorrow after I’ve gotten over it.