A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Grooming Part 2 Hair
I will admit there are guys out there who are able to go with wild, unkempt hair that somehow attract women by the bushel, but I am willing to bet a decent amount of money that most of the people reading this post are not in that category. Trust me, I grew my hair out to pony tail length twice and never accomplished anything but looking like a skinnier (relatively speaking) Meatloaf.
The simple rules for hair are fourfold: cut, wash, condition, and comb.
Cut your hair. Honestly, the shaggy look can only be successfully pulled by a very small minority. Like successful rock bands, for each success you see there are about 100 guys out there who are flailing madly with it (for bands it is about 10,000 failed band for each successful one. God knows I have found enough while linking stuff for t-shirts like the band Mr. Blonde I found for one of the Reservoir Dogs t-shirts from the movie t shirt section). Go with a clean cut look. And actually go somewhere and pay someone a good amount for the cut. Supercuts will not do. I usually pay about $50 for a haircut ($40 for the cut, and I tip my stylist $10. She is worth every penny) and it took me a couple years to find someone I trust. Also I find sitting in an actual salon listening to the women talk about guys very enlightening, if you catch my drift. Most good hairdressers can look at your hair and come up with a good look, so let him or her have free reign. If they screw it up go to someone else. Incidentally, there is no excuse for mullets.
Wash your hair with shampoo. I hesitate to say this, as I am sure there are guys out there who will take this as license to wash their hair once a month, but the fact is you shouldn’t wash your hair every day. Natural oils are the best thing for your hair and keep it looking good. I wash my hair every 2 or 3 days (I still bathe every day, of course). Use good shampoo. Wash, rinse, repeat.
After you have washed your hair use some conditioner. It will add body and health to your hair. I like to leave my conditioner in while I wash the rest of my body, then rinse it out. Don’t forget that part. I have.
Finally, comb your hair neatly. My hair tends to lie nicely where I comb it for most of the day, but if I want to look particularly sharp I will use some gel. If you are not sure how to best comb and/or style your hair, part of the $50 you are spending on your hairstylist can readily be applied to some instructions on what to do with your hair at home.
Finally, if you are unfortunately losing your hair, spare yourself the pain and do not get into plugs, spray on hair, or the worst hair decision a balding man can make, a combover. You are not fooling anyone at all. The thing to do is simple: shave it off. Go skin. You will gain respect for having embraced your condition, as well as saving a ton of time and money on washing, combing, and cutting your hair. Also you can make snide comments about hair loss being caused by all the excess testosterone you have oozing out of your pores. Seriously, just take it off. The guy who did the Mensa lecture shaves his scalp and has no problems with women.
Ash is clean cut.
Next Post: Shaving
Star Trekked Out
I have been working an a whole slew of new Star Trek t-shirts and am starting to burn out on them. I do have a huge tolerance for Star Trek but even I have my capacity. I think I will let them sit until tomorrow. Maybe I need to just watch some more Firefly (the image comes from my personal collection of great Firefly tshirts).
Going to see Kick Ass again tomorrow, I think. I have some guys who want to go, but another friend of mine wants to go see it in the city and I think I am more inclined to go with her. I see those guys every week.
I just got my first shipment of lunch boxes, coffee mugs, and drinking glasses. I need to figure out how to ship them. Another great weekend project. I also think I found the display units I want to use for our next trade show, but I don’t know if they will arrive in time. We’ll see.
Anyway, that’s it. Still have a ton of work to do. Talk to you all soon.
Kick-Ass does indeed Kick Ass
Yes, I went out and saw this movie on opening night. I am one of those dorks. However, it was entirely worth it. This movie is great, and surprising bloody considering one of the main characters is an 11 year old girl (who really kicks ass).
They also showed a trailer for Iron Man 2. It looks pretty good. As long as they don’t Hollywood it up too much it should be great. I had the opportunity to order Iron Man 2 t shirts the other day, but have found that the shirts from the movies kind of all suck compared to the classic ones like this Tetsu Punch t shirt from the comic book t shirt section.
Of course, that could be my personal bias, but to be honest the new ones really don’t sell that well. My gut tells me that these are the shirts that they make for Walmart to sell to the inbred morons who comprise the bulk of the American movie going audience, while the true fans (including, I hope, most of the visitors to my site) are shopping for the classics and “true” comic t shirts.
Anyway, I just wanted to blog about that movie while it was fresh. I’ll probably see it a second time soon.
Buzz Aldrin on the Howard Stern show this morning
So I was listening to Stern this morning and he had a great hero, not just for America, but the human race, Buzz Aldrin on for a candid interview. The guys who made it to the moon were the first step towards mine and every thinking nerd’s dream of getting off this rock we call home.
Unfortunately, our current administration has opted to no longer pursue the space program, the one decision I most strongly disagree with. In order to keep the morons of this country happy in the short term they are selling out the human race’s long term benefit. I know I have bitched about this before, but if you could get a letter or email sent to the president (www.whitehouse.gov) in support of NASA that would be very cool. I just sent another one.
Anyway, in the spirit of space exploration I have shown a picture for Forbidden Planet from the movie t shirt section. Great movie, if you haven’t seen it.
I am the top nerd!
So I went to this very tiny Warhammer tournament this weekend and took best overall, going 5-0. While it is pretty pathetic to win something that small, it does make me feel like Conan in this movie t shirt answering “What is best in life” with “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” Of course, as usual there were very few women there (one playing 40K), but you get the idea.
Winning best overall gets me an army box set, a plaque, and an invitation to the national championships in Las Vegas. I am torn as to whether I want to go or not. I always say no right after a full day of Warhammer but then a couple months later get gung ho again.
So I got home, just had dinner, and now get to start diving into all the work I blew off in order to do the tournament. Lots of new shirts to write up, including the new baby onsy’s. Should be fun.
Funny how perceptions change
So I went to movie night last night at a friend’s house and we watched John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness. I actually watched it in high school in a theater and thought it was pretty good. However, watching it in 2010 and it was pretty awful.
The worst part was the bad 80’s hair. Seriously, the women all looked like they were wearing crash helmets. Also the main character had one of the worst porn mustaches I have ever seen. The story made little to no sense (Jesus is actually an alien, and scientists from the future (1999) are beaming tachyon messages back in time that the characters can only pick up in their dreams in order to prevent the Prince of Darkness returning through a mirror), Alice Cooper is leader of a demonically possessed gang of homeless people (all right, that part made some sense), and scientists are willing to spend the night in an abandoned church with thousands of dollars worth of high tech (DOS based, for the most part) equipment in order to study a spinning light display box that I think I have seen in Spencers Gifts. Also, the really cute brunette was second to be possessed by the evil (and somehow still looked uber hot) yet the mediocre red head (her hair looked like a furry R2D2) was last to go. Overall horrible, yet I liked it at age 16. Go figure.
The only thing redeeming about it was Vincent Wong (Egg Chen, from the great Big Trouble in Little China) plays a squinty eyed physics professor who can somehow read Latin fluently. The main character is some chump I don’t remember in anything else (and apparently survives through the protective power of his uber mustache).
Anyway, the whole thing is hardly worth mentioning, except for the fact that I actually liked it years ago. Weird. I am suggesting we watch a good movie next week. My suggestion was Carrie, as seen on this shirt from the horror movie t shirt section. Don’t go out of your way to see this movie, unless big hair turns you on.
Reasons why TOS is better than Next Gen
I just got a shipment that included a couple of Star Trek Next Generation t shirts and I am feeling a little guilty. I know there are Next Gen fans and I am risking alienating those fans, but I have to admit I am a hard core TOS fan.
Whenever someone starts telling me how much better Next Gen is over TOS it always seems to boil down to better special effects. No kidding. You think a sci fi show produced 25 years later might have better effects? That’s like saying the Buck Rogers from the 80’s is better than the one from the 20’s due to the special effects. Thanks, Capt. Obvious.
I have enjoyed episodes of Next Gen, but the fact is the stories are far more bland and politically correct than TOS. The Original Series did some stories that were totally risque and could have gotten them into real trouble. For example, did you know the very first televised interracial kiss was on an episode of TOS? There were stories about racism, nuclear war, age relations, mind expansion, and any number of other troublesome subjects. On of my favorite scenes of all time has to be when the two aliens who were black on one side and white on the other (Episode 70: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield). The great line from Commissioner Bele was “I am black on the right side. Lokai is white on the right side. All his people are white on the right side.” This was his people’s reason for the race war the were in. Next Gen, on the other hand, had stories that more or less were tame “Save the environment” themes and the like.
Also, there is not a single character on TOS I don’t like. They are like the friends I always wanted to have as a kid (my imaginary friends image comes from the funny t shirt category). Next Gen has a few engaging characters but many that bug me. I like Data, Warf, Geordie, and to an extent Picard, but fat bearded cool guy Riker, too-good-for-a-uniform Counselor Troy (I don’t care if she’s Gene Roddenberry niece or whatever), and hired-for-lame-youth-appeal Westley Crusher should have all been sucked out of an airlock episode 1. Also, while I like Capt. Picard, it’s now 400 years into the future. Whatever happened to the Hair Club for Men? He could not only be president and member, but secretary, treasurer, master at arms, and sweep up after the meetings. Finally, that blond security officer who died and came back also bugged the hell out of me to the point that I refuse to look up her name.
The only cool thing Next Gen did in it’s entire run was introduce the Borg. However, the Borg were much more interesting in Voyager, in my opinion.
Sooo many shirts
So I am trying to get all the shirts unpacked from WonderCon and it is quite the task. Almost overwhelming, really. The cool part is it is a nice chance to look at and mentally review all the shirts and licenses.
It is also a chance to think about what I would like to bring in at my earliest opportunity. Due to the nature of the licensed t-shirt industry I can’t just have anything I want made up. All the shirts on our site are licensed so I have to find someone who actually paid royalties to the studios who made them. Here is a partial list of shirts (mostly movie t shirts) I would like to find:
Mad Max (MFP), Road Warrior, Deathrace 2000, Harry Potter, Stripes, Caddyshack, The Maxx, Spawn, Hellboy, Kick Ass, Cowboy Bebop, Astro Boy, Mars Attacks!, Gorillaz, Drinky Crow/Tony Millionaire’s Maakies, Space Ghost, The Walking Dead, Venture Bros, Babylon Five, and Brazil.
Here are the shirts I probably should bring in based on their popularity by my basic humanity will not allow:
Twilight
That’s pretty much it.
‘The Big Lebowski’ Improves with Age
Some movies are so imminently quotable and frequently hilarious that they command a viewer’s attention the whole way through. The first time I saw “The Big Lebowski” in theaters back in 1998, I was somewhat confused by the on-screen spectacle. At the time, there’s no way I would have placed it among the top comedy movies of all time. In truth, I didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It certainly wasn’t anything like the Coen Brothers’ previous offering, the relatively straightforward “Fargo.”
As it turned out, repeat viewings allowed me to appreciate the movie for the comedic masterpiece it is. Jeff Bridges turns in perhaps his signature role as Jeffrey Lebowski (I don’t care if he did just win an Oscar), a down-on-his-luck acid casualty from the ’60s. The adventures of “The Dude” and his best buddy Walter Sobchak function as a witty subversion of hardboiled crime thrillers and shaggy dog narratives. The Big Lebowski used to be the quintessential cult comedy, but with people sporting Big Lebowski shirts like this one from our movie t shirt collection and annual gatherings to celebrate the film, it has certainly risen above cult status.
First day of WonderCon done
and it was great. I had no idea we would be so busy. My feet are killing me, but we sold a lot of shirts. Tomorrow is supposed to be even busier. I need to go in early and unpack the rest of an order that arrived last night. The new baby onsies were a big hit, as was this girls shirt from the zombie t-shirt section.
I am super tired, but I had a lot of fun. Lots if interesting people to talk to, and I saw some amazing guys in great costumes. A bunch of people in great steam punk outfits, a really hot chick dressed as Princess Leia (white gown, not metal bikini, but slit way up high), two guys in great BSG uniforms, two guys in great Starship Trooper uniforms, and someone is a weird furry animal costume of some kind. Not sure what that was about, but I have my suspicions.
Anyway, I am beat and need to get some sleep. I am sure I will see even more tomorrow.
