Red Dawn remake???
Geez, must every movie be remade? It’s one thing when a great movie is remade into a cruddy one, but if I recall correctly Red Dawn was not exactly the greatest film ever made. I guess that’s the sound of the bottom of a barrel being scraped, which is funny when you think about all the really good movies out there that could be remade. Maybe the really good movies are somehow immune to remakes. It keeps looking like they are going for movies that were good enough to do OK at the box office but not so good as to make the fans get really pissed off.
The reason I pulled this Chairman Mao image from the Political T Shirts is the original story was supposed to be about the Chinese invading the US to reposes on a bunch of defaulted debts. That actually might have been good and would have definitely been timely. However, the studio decided they couldn’t afford to alienate the Chinese and opted instead to go with the sucktastic choice of North Korea. Do they really expect me to believe a county the size of Minnesota has the resources and manpower to even seriously threaten the United States? This is one of the rare times you get to see a studio actively make the decision to create a crap movie. It really just goes to show how little respect they have for their audience. I would bet they only see us as bleating sheep with wallets. I will not see this garbage. Dave probably will, and I hope he dumps all over it.
Jason
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Movie Review
Ugh. I’m afraid this is going to be another review that makes me look and feel stupid. You see, if I were the type to use analogies in my reviews I might say a movie is like an engine. In most cases of mainstream Hollywood movies the engine is a simple and crude coal burning one piston steam engine. Low energy output, prone to breakdowns, and they create a lot of smelly smoke and pollution. By comparison, a movie like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is a nuclear power plant, creating abundant energy at high output with a minimum of moving parts and a complexity that could be considered beautiful to a technophile. If I were to beat my analogy further into the ground, I could say that, while I understand the principles behind a simple steam engine (and, to be honest, if I were sufficiently motivated I could probably build one that would either work or blow up horribly) the complexities of a nuclear power plant are far beyond my ken.
Thus we come to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. It is a beautiful movie, amazingly shot and well crafted, but so complicated and convoluted that I kept losing track of what the hell was going on. Characters kept appearing, adding a little more complexity, and then vanishing back into the fold. It didn’t help much that, to a man (and in one case, woman) almost all the characters looked like they had all been pressed out of the same Playdoh mold using slight variations in the color white. Honestly, they all looked like they had been dredged up out of a river. Keeping track of any one character was like trying to watch a specific tuna in a huge school. Even the main character, the great Gary Oldman (Commissioner Gordan from Batman Begins and the Dark Knight) I kept getting confused with John Hurt (Alien, V for Vendetta, Hellboy).
It seems pretty obvious to me that this is a movie adaptation of a wonderfully complex spy thriller book, but suffered from a lack of screen time to deliver the story. Ironically, there was also a lot of time spent on stuff that could be considered at best insignificant. Honestly, if they had dropped the five minutes exploring the romance between one spy and a hot Russian defector (all of which could have been delivered using about two lines of expository dialog) and used that time to further explore the relationship between two of the other spies I might have not been scratching my head so much on the way out. As this is a mystery (of sorts) I really don’t want to go into it too much as it might blow part of the ending, but if I had had a better understanding of what was going on between them I might have been able to figure out the motivation that seemed to be lacking.
That being said, the film is really well done. The costuming and lighting scream Cold War Era. The acting was good for what was needed (it’s not that tough to play an emotionless, acerbic anti-socialite, which is pretty much what the entire cast was composed of). However, in a weird twist this really complicated story described as a spy mystery had little to do with mystery at all. The puzzle, when solved, seems to be from the most mundane maneuvers possible. The movie could easily have been about discovering the source of an accounting discrepancy in a huge British bureaucracy, which is effectively what this was about. While there were definitive plot points that were critical to the story, the pacing between plot points dragged on and on. It was like traveling from oasis to oasis through a bleak desert. I wasn’t looking for car chases and gun fights, but a little more focus on the characters and/or motivations would have been well received.
Like I said, I won’t get too deep into the story as I don’t want to spoil anything. Gary Oldman is Smiley, an aged spy pulled out of retirement to discover who a mole is in the British intelligence community during the Cold War. He is aided by Peter Guillam (Benedict Cumberbatch-Sherlock Holmes (the new, really good BBC one, which I highly recommend), War Horse, the Other Boleyn Girl) and some other old guy who barely registered. He is at odds with most of his suspects, mainly because he was part of the old guard that the current heads swept away. Some detective work happens, although not as much as you would expect, and a lot of seemingly pointless flashbacks surface and more or less pad out the run time without contributing a lot. (Russian Spy image courtesy of the Political T Shirt category)
The stars. Gary Oldman. One star. Very complicated story. Two stars. For all that the movie was almost entirely shot indoors, there were some amazing camera angles and shots, very different from modern movie production. One stars. Acting was very good. One star. The director did a great job making you feel like you were in the 70’s in London. One star. If his intention was to show you what it would be like to grind through a massive, Brazil-esque bureaucracy than my hat’s off to him, for he totally succeeded. One star. Overall well done. One star. Total: eight stars.
The black holes. My head hurt from trying to keep up with what was going on and I left the theater totally confused. Sure, call me a moron but this is my blog so one black hole. The pacing at multiple points felt like trying feed a bike chain through a hand cranked meat grinder. One black hole. No real attempt to explain what anyone’s motivations really were. One black hole. For most of the movie nothing really happened, and when it did it had all the emotional impact of a minor breaking of wind. Even the final dramatic scene was delivered like a mechanic changing your oil. Deadpan and emotionless don’t even begin to describe this film. One black hole. A complicated mystery that was solved using techniques from the Scooby Doo school of detective work. One black hole. Did I mention confusing? I guess I did. Five black holes total.
So a total of three stars. Not great, and not what I would expect based on the quality of this film and what I heard about it. Once again I am at odds with the greater movie reviewing industry, but I won’t lie just to look like everyone else (in fact, that sounds like exactly the wrong reason to lie about anything). I found the movie plodish and confusing. If you are of a higher intellect you might get more out of this (or, if you like to pretend you are of a higher intellect, go see it and tell everyone else how great the film is. That way they will all assume you are some kind of super genius). There is nothing on the screen that really requires a theater. Not only do I recommend you wait until it comes out on DVD, but if you really want to enjoy and understand it odds are you should buy the film and watch it every night for a week or so. Date movie? Hell no. She will be bored stupid and will want to get as far away from you as possible. On the other hand, with the possible exception of Benedict Cumberbatch everyone in this movie is to good looks what Cheez Whiz is to fine dining, so you might gain some points by comparison. I wouldn’t take the chance.
More end of the year stuff tomorrow, I think. Kind of dry for new movies right now unless I want Bollywood, and I am Singh kind of burned that out of me. I might have to go off on other tangents once the awards posts are done. Maybe finish off that Star Trek rant I had going. Thanks for reading. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Talk to you soon.
Dave
Hugo 3D Movie Review
Martin Scorsese throws a nod towards Steam Punk.
I find myself in a weird spot reviewing this movie. I mean, who am I to review the work of a true movie making genius like Martin Scorsese? He is responsible for so many of my favorite films, including Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Shutter Island, and The Aviator. Of course, he has done a lot of stuff no one has ever heard of, including a ton of documentaries. However, for a movie amateur like myself to offer criticism feels like I am hanging around giving advice to a brain surgeon.
But then I remember that I have an obligation to deliver my unbiased and honest opinion to you, my beloved reader. Fortunately, Hugo is a decently fun movie, and even if I didn’t know Scorsese had directed it I would have enjoyed it. It was fun, well acted, extremely well directed, and overall a quality movie experience. Like pretty much 100% of the movies I nit pick apart it has a few items I can take issue with, but overall pretty cool. I think one of the things that really works for me on this film is it is so different from any of Martin Scorsese’s other films. It’s great to see a director head into something new.
It is the story of young Hugo (Asa Butterfield-the Boy in the Striped Pajamas, the Return of Nanny MacPhee), the son of a clockmaker who has been orphaned and now lives in a Paris train station, winding and maintaining the clocks. His only legacy of his father is a mysterious steam punk automaton that was rescued from a museum store room and is in need of repair (steam punk Sonic image courtesy of the Video Game T Shirts). He gets caught trying to steal parts from a grumpy toy shop owner named Papa George (the great Ben Kingsley-Sexy Beast, Ghandi, Shutter Island, Schindler’s List), who confiscates Hugo’s fathers notebook. He gets Hugo to work for him repairing windup toys to make up for the stolen goods. Meanwhile Hugo befriends George’s goddaughter Isabelle (played most excellently by Chloe Grace Moretz, the Hitgirl from Kick Ass. She was also the vampire from Let Me In. What a talented young actress. I am sure we will see some amazing things from her in the future), who is something of a bookworm and looking for adventure. She sees the potential with Hugo and together they work on the mystery of the mechanical man.
I don’t want to get too much into the story, as I don’t want to hand out any spoilers. Hugo is beset by the station inspector (Sasha Baron Cohen-Borat, Sweeney Todd, Bruno, Ali G) who adds an element of danger to the story. Papa George has a mysterious past that he wants to keep secret. Clocks get wound. Mysteries are solved.
The stars. All around quality film. Direction, story, and overall experience excellent. Two stars. The acting was awesome, although how could you expect any less from Ben Kingsley? Chloe was decent too, although occasionally she and Asa seemed to have forced the scenes. Two stars. The camera work and visual were really, really good. Two stars. The story overall was very immersive. You really felt like you were in the Montparnasse train station in the 30’s. One star. Steam punk-ish. One star. Based in part on a true story. One star. Total: nine stars.
Now, though it galls me to do this, I have to award the black holes. The biggest one is going to have to be the fact that 3D sucks. It really did nothing to in any way enhance this film, and it is obvious Martin Scorsese, being new to the 3D art form, was looking for and writing in extra visuals to better display the 3D effects. Unfortunately this really did nothing but aggravate the next two black holes I am about to give. One black hole. The movie, perhaps due to the extra visuals, seemed to really drag at points. The fun of watching Hugo wind his was through the massive gears and cogs of all the clocks in the station kind of loses it’s magic when we have to watch it a second and third time. Plot progression seemed really slow. One black hole. The movie, supposedly for kids, runs a whopping 127 minutes. I saw more than one family have to leave early after the kids got bored of watching gears spin, and even I had to take a bathroom break about 3/4 of the way through (the ocean tanker sized Diet Coke did not help). One black hole. Finally, while Sasha Baron Cohen was probably the best actor in the film, his role as the menacing station inspector was significantly compromised by his comedic bearing and delivery. It literally felt like Hugo was being chased by Inspector Clouseau, and it is tough to feel concern for anyone in that situation. The rest of the movie is actually really poignant and serious with whimsical element, but every time Sasha got on screen the slapstick-o-meter dipped deeply into the red. One black hole. Total: four black holes.
So a grand total of five stars. Not bad, but not awesome. Hugo is a fun, quality movie. But it in no way compares to Shutter Island or Goodfellas. Worth seeing? Yes. Worth seeing in a theater? Yes. Worth seeing twice in a theater? Probably not, unless you are into the 3D art form or the movie history portrayed. Good date movie? Sure, as long as your date is a visual person. Not my first choice.
Thanks for reading, and don’t hate me for not gushing all over this film. I really am a Scorsese fan. Just not his best film. Perhaps he was so distracted by the details of 3D he couldn’t apply as much focus as usual on the other aspects of the film. Short review, but that’s what usually happens when I enjoy the film. I will write up the Descendants tomorrow, and hopefully see something else then for Monday. Maybe Arthur Christmas. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Talk to you soon.
Dave
How the government can help with unemployment and possibly fix the economy.
So something came up and I didn’t see a movie last night. I don’t really have anything on deck right now, and thought I might share some thoughts I have had recently regarding our current economic situation.
I normally don’t get political, but like most Americans have been worried about what we are doing with our economy and do believe that if you don’t do what you can to fix a situation than you deserve the results. I am also not any kind of expert in economics or politics, but I work alone, and therefore have a lot of time to think. I have come up with a plan that I believe has the duel benefit of helping people in our struggling economy and helping companies as well, thus resulting in an idea that should appeal to both sides of the political water, if for different reasons. (Ben Franklin image courtesy of the Political T Shirt category).
The problem we have had with the stimulus money is that (obviously) it went to people who don’t actually stimulate anything. Banks are not exactly lining up on my site to buy t-shirts, and as they keep sending jobs overseas it really doesn’t do much at all. Sure, some decent construction jobs were handed out, but the problem is those are all temporary situations. Eventually the bridge will get finished and all those guys will be out of work again.
What we need is stimulus into jobs where Americans actually manufacture stuff and then that stuff gets sold to other Americans. Sure, we tried that with cars by bailing out some incompetent care manufacturers, but no one I know is looking to buy a new car. The jobs we need are the ones that make all the little widgets that are current being mass produced overseas, mostly in China. Electronics, consumer goods, novelty items; you name it, our country used to make it and the companies making them made a profit. Why don’t we still do these sorts of things? Well, the obvious answers are corporate greed in an increasingly competitive market. However, the underlying reason is cost of labor. Americans just cost too much to hire and pay. As a country our workforce has priced themselves out of the job market and are therefore now unemployed.
So what is the answer? Glad you asked. What I would do if I were president and Congress (or had some kind of mind control device) is I would create a program called the General Labor Pool. Similar in theory to the labor programs started by President Roosevelt during the other Depression, the difference would be that anyone on unemployment insurance would actually be enrolled in this program and be required to report for work for however many hours a week was deemed appropriate. Not a full 40, as this would allow them time to look for work. But instead of sweeping up public buildings and the like, the people in the General Labor Pool would be hired out to private companies at significant labor discounts.
You see, instead of paying the unemployment insurance to the individual people, the money would be sent to any company hiring them to offset the cost of their wages. This idea has many benefits.
1. The companies participating would get a ready pool of employees at rates that would make it economically feasible to manufacture (or phone support, etc) here in the US rather than overseas. Furthermore, as labor is usually the number one cost to most companies this would give them the ability and incentive to actually grow and hire even more (previously unemployed) people.
2. The formally unemployed people would actually be making more money than they would be while unemployed, allowing them to buy things like shoes and clothes, thus supporting floundering retail business in local communities, and thus allowing those retailers to hire more people and place orders for more goods, hopefully manufactured by other recently rehired Americans.
3. People would be working, and not sitting around getting depressed and watching TV.
4. Since we are paying unemployment insurance anyway, it really doesn’t cost us anything. It’s more like a job placement fee.
Once the unemployment runs out there might have to be some kind of other incentive to keep people employed. However, if the company let go of the people every three months and hired more people from the same company, would that be so bad? Working for three months is not a bad deal, and odds are there will be another company looking to hire that same person through the same program.
Look, I’m probably some kind of idiot and there are probably 100 reasons why this plan won’t work, but to be honest I don’t really see any of them. It all seems pretty obvious to me. It helps the working person, so Democrats should be happy. It helps companies, so Republicans should be happy. If you can think of a reason why it wouldn’t work feel free to post a reply here. If you can think of a reason it would work do the same, and maybe write your Congressman.
Thanks for reading my plan. I promise tomorrow I will be back on the humorous movie reviews, with a full frontal charge at the newest Twilight movie. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Talk to you soon.
Dave
What’s Your Number? Movie Review
I guess my number is 2 (black holes).
First off, let me curse Regal Jack London Theater to the very bowels of Hell for being sold out on Dream House, forcing me to watch this chick flick.
Anyway, this movie is yet another female-centric R rated comedies that wants to make women talking about their vaginas a subject of humor. Unfortunately, Bridesmaids already did that this year and, more importantly, did it competently. I say female-centric because it features a female protagonist who says a lot of raunchy things, but in all honesty if I were a woman I would be pissed off at such a passive doormat being a main character in this film She takes no action or charge without help from her friends, gets regularly treated horribly by the men in her life and never speaks out against them, and can’t even accomplish her stupid goal without enlisting the aid of the man across the hall.
The movie starts off with Ally Darling (Anna Faris-Scary Movie 2 and 4, Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs, something called House Bunny) getting dumped by her lame vegetarian bike guy boyfriend, who leaves her with a line that any self respecting woman would have punched him in the balls for but in another womens lib inhibiting move she takes with a smile (Vegetarian image from the novelty t shirt category). She gets fired later that morning and on the train ride home discovers in a women’s magazine that the national average number of sex partners for women is 10.5, and any woman who sleeps with more than 20 is not likely to ever get married (fortunately, if I were a woman I would still have quite a cushion, if you know what I mean). She does some math and discovers that she has just been dumped by number 19. She sets a resolution to not sleep with number 20 until she is sure he is the one, and then proceeds to get drunk off her ass and sleep with the boss who just fired her.
So, with her second virginity plan shot down, she now comes up with the completely ridiculous plan of trying to hook up with one of her ex boyfriends, due to the fact that her sister is getting married to her ex (there is an extensive sub plot surrounding her sisters upcoming wedding. It is actually pretty integral to the story, so I won’t black hole it). In order to track down (stalk) her ex’s she recruits her across the hall neighbor Colin Shea (Chris Evans – Captain America, Fantastic Four. Actually quite a good filmography from a nerd perspective), who is a sleazy womanizer who seduces a different girl each night and then needs Ally’s help trying to get rid of her, or at least Ally’s apartment to hide out in until they figure out how they have just been used and leave. Anyway, unfunny romantic comedy hijinks ensues. Colin manages to track down a series of men who are all, for one reason or another, inappropriate. Naturally romance ensues between the woman who has sworn celibacy and the man who plans to sleep with every woman in the greater Boston area. The romance has all the chemistry of mixing green food coloring into beer to make St. Paddy’s Day beverages. The plot plods towards the painfully predictable and totally expected ending.
The stars. Acting was decent. You do tend to believe the characters. One star. Anna Faris is cute if you are into blondes, and whoever they got to be her body double in the extremely brief and non-revealing nude (nud-ish) scenes was pretty hot. One star. Decent supporting characters, including her mother (Blythe Danner), sister (Ari Graynor), the bridesmaids, and the assorted men. One star. Dialog was decent. One star. A few funny moments. One star. It’s nice to see a movie shot in Boston, as opposed to LA or NYC. One star. Total: six stars.
The black holes. Predictable with a capital P. I’ve had more surprising endings from kids singing the A-B-C song. One black hole. The two main characters, Ally and Colin, are both in their own way so unlikeable that by the end of the movie I hated not only them but everyone in the city of Boston (sorry if you live there. Nothing personal). She’s a whiny passive aggressive loser and he’s a sleazy aggressive loser. One black hole. Anna Faris may be funny, but she has a voice that could cut glass. If you loaded 6-9 cats into a cement mixer and turned it on you might approximate the sound. One black hole. Shockingly few funny moments in a so-called comedy, and most of them were one the basest level. One black hole. Ally’s father was the only supporting character that felt fake and out of place. One black hole. I’m going to put this out as bluntly as I can: if you are going to have a Rated R movie and it’s not for violence, for the love of all that is good include a couple decent nude scenes. The ones in this movie were fleeting and mostly covered. One black hole. The romance felt forced and lacked chemistry. One black hole. Total: eight black holes.
So a total of 2 black holes, and hence the subtitle for this movie (my real number is not two. Not a ton more than that, but not two). Meh. If you are looking for something cute that you won’t have to use your brain a lot for, go for it. I can actually recommend this as a date movie, in that if she starts thinking about her number she might have to decide you are the one. On the other hand, if you haven’t yet slept with your date this may well backfire on you when she decides you aren’t worth adding to her score, so tread carefully.
Short review, but honestly not a lot of meat for me to chew on here. Thanks for reading. Still more to see this week, but I might just do another Star Trek retrospective tomorrow, or maybe think of something new. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Talk to you all soon.
Dave
Movie review: the Debt
Could someone please explain to me where the title of this film comes from?
So, the Debt. I like a good spy thriller, and this has a lot of the key elements for one, but seemed to end up kind of flaccid. Not that it was bad. I don’t feel like I got ripped off on the $7 matinee ticket I bought. Just that it is deep down in the Mediocre Trench and is pretty much running out of oxygen.
I will say that part of the problem is ever since the Berlin Wall fell spy movies based on the Cold War have very little interest to me. Show me something in WWII, when we were actually fighting a tangible enemy and lives hung in the balance and I am there. I grew up during the Cold War, but honestly even then it didn’t have the punch to really pull me in. If the West pulled off an intelligence coup then we somehow gained some more credibility with our allies and neutral countries? Big deal. If the Russians pulled off something amazing we lost a bit of technology or some influence with someone? In the long run who cares? The entirety of the Cold War felt like we were playing poker for matchsticks. Now that it is over the stakes seemed kind of dumb and pointless. (CCCP image courtesy of the political t-shirts category).
This is probably unfair to the men and women who struggled back in those days, but at the time I was more worried about getting beat up again in the locker room of my Jr. High than the Russians invading.
That being said, I am very interested in seeing Nazi war criminals captured and brought to justice, which this movie was ultimately about. That should have held my interest, but somehow did not. I won’t spoil it, but if you see it you will probably understand what I mean.
Anyway, the Debt. It starts off in Tel Aviv in 1997 where three former Israeli operatives are being honored for their part in bringing the notorious Surgeon of Birkenau, a Nazi doctor guilty of horrific war crimes in a concentration camp during WWII, to justice in1965. The main character, Rachel, has a daughter who has written a book about her mother’s and father’s exploits in East Berlin. They flash back to the doctor trying to escape custody and Rachel shooting him dead as he ran.
However, things aren’t what they seem, starting with the suicide of David, the third member of the team. We start flashing back and forth as secrets are revealed and literally a ton of character development is dumped onto the screen. I always bitch when the movie scrimps on the character development in favor of the story, but this movie has gone too far in the other direction. We spend so much time on background and character that it honestly gets in the way of the plot. There were multiple points when a simple line or two of expository dialog would have alleviated the “what the hell is going on?” feeling I was suffering from but instead we get to find out more about where they all came from. The ironic part is the main character, Rachel (played in 1997 by Helen Mirren – Arthur, Red, and a bunch of crap I never heard of including Legend of the Guardians: the Owls of Ga’Hoole(?) and in 1965 by the very hot Jessica Chastain, whom I loved in the Help but still absolutely hate for Tree of Life (Tree of Uber Pretentious Boring Crap)) is the one we learn the least about. We find out about David’s whole family dying in a concentration camp and Stephan’s ambition to succeed, but except for her mother’s death hardly anything about Rachel. It doesn’t help that her performance was kind of flat and dull, as were her costars. The Nazi doctor (Jesper Christensen – Quantum of Solace, Casino Royale) was the most interesting character on the screen. Of course, I am always more interested in the villains, but still.
Anyway, there is a kind of interesting attempt to jump the Berlin wall that fails and reduces the movie to three people trying to keep one man prisoner in a dumpy apartment. Boring crap ensues. Nothing gets blown up. The action is brutally abbreviated and resolves almost nothing. Big secrets are revealed. The writers took a big swig of deus ex machina Cola to pull an ending out of their ass that was almost ludicrous. Honestly, if you are going to write a story about real secret agents who don’t have the ability to fight off an army of bad guys and have to resolve issues in the real world, can you spare us the amazing coincidence ending please?
The stars. The 1997 actors all did a great job in the performance, as did the Nazi Doctor. One star. Good story concept. One star. Subtitled for most of the dialog really worked. One star. The Nazi doctor being a gynecologist and young Rachel being examined by him as a means of getting close and confirming his identity was a super creepy twist on the plot that I thought was really cool (ever see Dead Ringers?). One star. Jessica Chastain is super cute to me, as was the girl they got to play her adult daughter. One star. They didn’t give the agents any James Bond-esque powers, and the East Berlin stuff seemed pretty accurate. One star. Total: six stars.
The black holes. For a spy “thriller” there was hardly any tension built whatsoever. Seriously, I’ve had more intense Thanksgiving dinners. One black hole. The 1965 acting was for the most part flat and dull, with occasional spikes that were almost over the top. One black hole. While I understand the the story was intended to be delivered in flashbacks, it seemed like they really liked jumping back and forth a lot in ways that bugged me. One black hole. The 1997 agents and the 1965 agents really didn’t look a lot like each other, and it took me about 1/3rd of the movie to figure out which of the two men in 1965 was which in 1997. One black hole. Overall an interesting premise and talented group of actors that really failed to intrigue me, the blame for which I lay firmly in the lap of the director (John Madden – Shakespeare in Love in 1998 and nothing but garbage since. What the hell was Captain Corelli’s Mandolin?). One black hole. Total: five black holes.
So a grand total of one star, a really blase and mediocre score. I won’t say don’t go see it. If you are looking for something to do it will fill an afternoon. I just can’t say go see it. Honestly, I would wait for NetFlix streaming.
If you like my reviews be sure to post a comment, and to follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. It would be really cool to exceed 200 followers ;). I think Warrior is next. Have a great day.
Movie Review: Colombiana
Luc Besson sequels the Professional by making Kill Bill.
OK, I was sold on this movie by the trailer. I guess I am a sucker for slick media campaigns (by the way, have you seen the new Slim Jim commercials? I have been eating those things by the bushel). As I gain experience in the movie review world I am learning to watch out for certain things, and movies that are released in late August generally seem to be the wimpy kids that are picked last for softball in grade school (something I know a good amount about). Was this movie bad? Not especially. Was it good? Not especially. It had some good elements, but overall seemed a little confused and disjointed. I think “meh” best describes it.
After seeing the movie last night I was kind of perplexed as to the origin and did a little research. Apparently this was supposed to be the sequel to the Professional and Luc wrote it with adult Natalie Portman in mind. After she passed he rewrote it with a South American back story stapled to the front end and ran with it. It did star another unrequited love of my life, Zoe Saldana, which was a big plus (I fell in love with her as a big blue alien in Avatar. Yes, I am one of those guys).
What is the real problem with this film? Well, it has several, including the fact that Luc Besson was “inspired” by about 2o different movies, but the real issue with this film can be summed up in one rating: PG-13. This movie really should have gone hard core for an R rating, and not just so I could see some gratuitous nudity on the screen. The combat seemed tame and disconnected, which aggravated the incredulity the audience has to constantly fight when watching a 90 pound girl beat the hell out of dozens of fully grown and extremely well armed men (sorry, ladies. I am sure there are any number of martial arts trained women out there who could beat the hell out of me. I just have a hard time believing Zoe Saldana has the upper body strength to pull herself out of a wrestling hold with a dude. Hate me if you have to). I’m not saying I can’t suspend my disbelief enough to make it work. I’m just saying in order for me to believe it I actually need to see the violence and gore in a realistic, R rated manner. Also, a little gratuitous nudity would not have hurt.
By the way, I thought at first Colombiana was the female form of Colombian in Spanish, but a little research shows that it is actually a term for black people living in Colombia. Not the most racially sensitive term I have heard used for a movie title, and I am reasonably sure a little research might show it is kind of derogatory. Not that Luc Besson is known for being PC.
Anyway, the movie. A young Colombian girl (Amandla Stenberg) has her parents killed in some kind of drug deal gone bad. She has some kind of data chip (this is 1992. Were they making mini disks the size of dimes back then?) her father gave her that has details of the bad guy’s never defined business. We see yet ANOTHER parkour chase scene through a South American hillside city slum (it really, really, really looks like Rio de Janeiro, in spite of the fact that is is supposed to be in Colombia) where an eight year old girl managed to give about 20 armed men the slip and also has the strength to lift a manhole cover from the inside (I know this is petty, but I am going to give them a black hole for this. I happen to know from personal experience that manhole covers start at 300 pounds and go up from there, and are really hard for a grown man to lift from the inside (please don’t ask me how I know this). This little girl lifts one like it was made of Styrofoam (it probably was). Can movie makers not respect their audience on any level, please?). Anyway, she uses the disk to get a ticket to American from the CIA, where she gives her handler the slip and travels to Chicago to hook up with her uncle, who in a blatant example of bad parenting decisions agrees to train her as an assassin. Skip forward 15 years and she is now a professional killer who uses her sex appeal, appearance, and lithe form to get into places others can’t. She is on a personal revenge kick after the Don who killed her parents, but does contract jobs for her uncle (he is also some kind of ill defined crime lord. How do these people make money, besides from murder for hire?). Somehow he is cool with her killing for money from all of his clients but freaks out when he finds out she is killing the people who killed her family (see what I mean about disjointed).
Anyway, a bunch of minor characters and sub plots, including an FBI investigation and some kind of CIA cover up, are introduced and go nowhere. Soft core explosive hijinks ensues. Henchmen die in droves. The part time love interest manages to completely screw up the girl’s life and more or less is forgiven in spite of directly causing the deaths of pretty much all of her friends and relatives. Other movies are blatantly plagiarized. More stuff blows up. The end.
The stars. Zoe Saldana, and while it was a PG-13 the director (Olivier Megaton??? No joke, he took this name because he was born on the 20th anniversary of atomic bombing of Hiroshima. What an a-hole. I wonder if he knows Megatron. Rising Sun image courtesy of the political t shirts category) took every single opportunity to show as much kid safe skin as possible. A scene doesn’t go by without Zoe running around in panties and bra, or skin tight body suit. Let’s just say wherever they were shooting this flick must have been cold. One star. One thing Luc Besson can do is write action scenes, even if they are really derivative of a bunch of other movies and a little hard to believe. One star. Revenge movie. One star. Somewhat exciting. One star. Lots of guns and explosives. One star. The opening hit, where she has to sneak into the Bakersfield police station (I’ve been to Bakersfield many times, and the police there are far less incompetent than this film makes them out to be. They also have a reputation in the Central Valley as being quick on the trigger, so take it from me, don’t mess with them) is actually really cool in a sneaky crime sort of way. One star. Filming was reasonably competent, and the running chase scene from early on (as lame is it was from a logical point of view) was well executed. One star. Total: seven stars.
Now the black holes. PG-13 when it should have been R. One black hole. Acting start to finish was flat and uninspired. One black hole. Little girl lifting manhole cover. One black hole. Subplots and minor characters that add nothing and go nowhere. One black hole. A really dumb scene where the little girl’s uncle pulls a gun out and shoots up a passing random car on a busy street in order to make a point to the girl, then sits there for about half an hour lecturing her before walking away with no consequences whatsoever (pretty much a rip off of the scene of Natalie Portman shooting out the window in the Professional, although I can’t call it plagiarism as Luc Besson wrote that too. I guess he really likes his own writing). One black hole. Every time they added a scene where they tried to inject some kind of emotion it was awkward and too brief and simplistic. Basically brought whatever momentum the movie had a that point to a crashing halt. One black hole. For someone who has worked for 15 years to kill a specific man, the girl kind of left his final death in the hands of fate. No real backup plan for any of her hijinks, but I guess that is typical Luc Besson. One black hole. While the gun fight scenes were pretty well shot and reasonably coherent, the one really big melee fight scene devolved into a million 1-1.5 second edits. I hate that fight scene style. Gives me a headache and no idea of who is doing what to whom. It pretty much says either the fight coordinator sucked (or didn’t exist) or the actors involved lacked the basic martial arts skills to reasonably execute more than one punch or kick in a row. One black hole. Story was overly complicated in a dumb way. A complicated story is good if the complications enhance the story and add depth. This was just complicated for complications sake, and really dragged down the story. One black hole. Total: eight black holes.
In the irksome category, I have some issues with the father. If you are going to confront your crime boss and you think there is a reasonable chance he will want to kill you and your whole family, would you not take the precaution of maybe having your wife and daughter somewhere other than where the bad guy knows they are? I’m just saying. If you are planning on leaving the country anyway (this was implied) and are about to have it out with the big man, maybe have your daughter and wife on a flight that leaves an hour before your meeting. Also, if time is a factor maybe tell your daughter how much you love her and give her the family medallion in the car while you are bugging the hell out of town, not while the bad guys are incoming. You know, just thinking out loud here. Also, they painted every American law enforcement person as kind of cowardly when confronted with a hot chick who threatens their family and life. It must be a French thing (Megat(r)on is French too) to try to constantly show Americans as incompetent, corrupt, and cowardly. Seems I can remember a certain European country surrendering pretty damn quick during a big war a few decades ago. Also, didn’t you get your butts kicked by Mexico on the 5th of May? I’m just saying.
I really didn’t want to see this movie end up in the black hole region, but try as I might I couldn’t find another star to give them. Even a couple of the ones I gave them smacked of pity stars. I like Zoe Saldana a lot and want to see her succeed, and feel gratitude for Luc Besson for the Professional (Taken wasn’t bad, either) and would like to see him do well, but I can’t really find another good thing about this movie. It’s not really bad, and you can get some excitement from it. Some of the action sequences are pretty good, although the best scenes are of Zoe sneaking around Splinter Cell style. It just doesn’t coalesce into a really good film. See it if you are really into Zoe and/or Luc Besson, but maybe wait until NetFlix.
The Harry Potter marathon continues: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
What a crock! Just when I was starting to like Dumbledore and think he was more than a manipulative, conniving old fool who got a thrill out of seeing young people risk their lives on stupid stuff he has to go and take a nose dive off a tower and die of kinetic energy poisoning. It’s really kind of unfair. Part of the reason I was starting to like him was in this and the last movie he more or less showed what kind of kick ass wizard he was. Now it’s nothing but kids.
This movie was good as the rest, but I am really starting to feel the lack of knowledge not having read the books is handicapping me with. The first few stories managed to avoid that, but as the whole story progresses it gets more and more complex and it is pretty obvious now that the series really is for the people who read the books. I think the biggest part of my confusion has to do with all the girls. Somehow in this movie they managed to introduce between 3 and 8 girls who all more or less look the same, talk the same, have the same dialog writer, and are so interchangeable that I can’t tell which one is which and how they got involved in the first place. Was the girl who helped Harry hide the book Wealey’s sister, or the one with the love potion? How did she even know about the book or know that Harry had to hide it? Could she have been the one who tried to kill Dumbledore with the necklace? Why is it the only girl who looks at all distinctive (blond hair, super pale) is the local space case who can’t be counted on to deliver any dialog that isn’t surreal? It’s actually kind of infuriating. Weasley was dating a girl early on and then seemed to dump her when they found out he was under some kind of love potion, but it also seemed to be implied that there were two different girls.
I also think it worth noting that this movie doesn’t really seem to make any pretense of racial diversity. At least in the last one you had the two cute Indian girls and a couple of black people. In this one, except for the super hot waitress at the start of the film (Elarica Gallacher) it was a sea of whitebread. Even all the villains were pretty white. Not sure what that implies or says, but aside from the socio political ramifications it helped make keeping all the characters except Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco apart really, really difficult. They all seemed to blur into a sea of blandness.
Anyway, the movie was pretty good, and I have to say I am totally hooked and want to see how this thing ends. I will also say that while watching this film I had a sudden flash of insight about what may or may not be the big surprise at the end of the series. I won’t say it now, as some of you may have not seen the last one and also, if I am wrong I can just never mention my insight again to avoid embarrassment. If I am right, however, I hope you all remember this when I claim credit for being a super genius.
Once again I am force to point out that Harry and his Mystery Gang failed miserably to figure out who the bad guy was, and only found out when he revealed himself. I am actually really disappointed it was Professor Snape. That just seems really obvious and simple minded. It’s like having the bad cowboy always wearing the black hat. The really interesting twist would have been if the Death Eater turned out to be Professor McGonagall. From what I hear J.K. Rowling creates quite the diverse and descriptive world in her novel, but so far she hasn’t really shown that she understands what subtlety or plot twists really are.
I am going to boil it down for Harry and his crew for the next movie. If you want to figure out who the villain currently is, ask the following questions:
1. Is the person associated with House Slytherin in any way?
2. Is the person the current instructor of Defense Against Dark Magic?
If the answer to either of these questions is yes, the whip your your wand and blast him or her where they stand. They might as well rename the position the “Professor of Kill Harry Potter” (Curses Foiled Again image courtesy of the novelty t shirt category).
As always, this movie has inspired some other annoying, specific questions.
First off, I have to go back to Quidditch again. As far as I can tell, Hogwarts has one Quidditch field, yet with four houses has four Quidditch teams. When they were showing the tryouts for the Gryffindor team it seemed like they had the field to themselves. I have been on several athletic teams in my life (football, wrestling, and rowing) and in each case we practiced a minimum of five days a week for 3-4 hours a day, after class. Do the Hogwarts teams only practice 1-2 days a week? There are only so many hours of daylight after class in which they could actually do anything, so how to the teams practice? If they all practice at the same time wouldn’t that more or less make it impossible to develop new strategies without the other teams finding out? A Quidditch field looks pretty crowded with just two teams on it. Wouldn’t having four teams plus alternates on the field more or less make for mass confusion and/or mid air collisions?
Second, when I was in high school chemistry we would play with some dangerous stuff (acid, etc) but nothing that would do more than give you a horrible, disfiguring burn. How, then, can the new Potions Professor ask these 15 year old kids to make something called “Liquid Death” (I think) that he says “One drop could kill us all”? That’s like asking a high school chemistry class to make up some nerve gas. It’s pretty much guaranteed one of those kids is going to screw up and spill the stuff all over the place. Even if it wasn’t pure enough to kill the whole class it still sounds really dangerous. I think OSHA might have a few words to say about the lack of gloves and masks going on in that room. Also, what idiot thinks that 15 year kids are emotionally stable enough to be trusted with the knowledge to create a WMD in class and not use it? I can tell you that at age 15 if I had had the knowledge all it would have taken was one more wedgie to see me dumping in the school water supply. Maybe British kids are better adjusted, but judging by what is going on in London right now, I wouldn’t bet on it.
Third, while the whole movie really tries to make out Draco Malfoy as a young villain, I have to say I have nothing but sympathy for him. Sure, he as some serious issues getting on with fellow students, but he is obviously a very troubled boy. He is ambitious but constantly having his achievements and abilities superseded by Harry, who seems to succeed without really trying. His father looks like a Wraith from Stargate Atlantis and just turned Death Eater, after infecting him with all kinds of class and racial prejudice. He is kind of being alienated by most of the rest of Hogwarts. He is a member of the most evil house in the school. He doesn’t apparently have anything even remotely resembling fun in his life. Is it any wonder he is a member of the Trench Coat Mafia? Honestly, it seems that a caring and alert school official or instructor might have seen trouble coming with that one and perhaps tried to intervene in a positive manner rather than teach him how to make death potions. Is there no one who can spot a desperate cry for help? I’m probably just bitter because I had a laundry list of problems in high school that secretly I always hoped someone would notice, but no one did. Draco Malfoy, I hope you end this series in a positive place, but given J.K. Rowlings sledgehammer approach to story crafting I doubt it.
Fourth, while I understand the theory behind the concept of a boarding school, the fact is these kids are spending nine months out of the year away from their family. Ron seems OK as his brothers and sister are around, and Harry can’t get away from his aunt and uncle fast enough, but Hermione seems to imply she has a loving home of Muggle dentists somewhere in the world. No one sees a problem with the fact that parents never come to visit, or the kids go home on weekends once in a while to reaffirm their family ties? Sounds like a recipe for future sociopathy.
Finally, I’m a little confused as to when Ron became the Hogwarts sex symbol. As far as I can tell, he’s a mediocre wizard, not terribly witty or charming, doesn’t appear overly burdened with good looks, and not the brightest bulb on the tree. His only talent lies in being a Quidditch goalie. Why does he have every girl after him? I do gain some satisfaction in seeing Hermione interested in him, but I see that as more an offshoot of their long time friendship than anything else. I do hope that romance continues.
That’s pretty much it. My cousin just moved back to Oakland and is dragging me to see Tree of Life tonight, so expect a review for that one tomorrow. I have no idea what it is about, except possibly living and/or a tree of some kind. I’ll watch the next Harry Potter tomorrow, and then see the Deadly Hollows part 2 at the theater. Bye for now.
More Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I am sick, so I should have time to finish these off pretty quick. Tonight I saw the Order of the Phoenix. I quite enjoyed it, although I found the lady in pink from the Ministry really annoying. However, if by now Harry hasn’t figured out that whoever takes the position of Professor of Defense Against Dark Magic has ill intents towards him, he must have suffered brain damage when he picked up that nifty scar. The movies have gotten really formulaic in that regards, and it seems obvious that J.K. Rowling has enough love for the other professors to not make any of them the bad guys, so I guess it will continue.
I did enjoy this movie, and magic duel at the end between Voldemort and Dumbledore was pretty damned cool. Not sure what the whole prophesy was all about, but most of the movie seemed pretty cool. I am disappointed that Cedric showed up as a flashback, as I don’t want to see Robert Pattinson gain any more in his so called career, but other than that pretty good. At least there wasn’t any of Dumbledore thrusting his students into dragons mouths or whatever, and he actually managed to act like he cared about Harry for a few minutes.
Of course, I have questions from this movie (Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand image courtesy of the funny t shirt category).
First off, what is up with wands? Is a wizard incapable of casting a spell without one? Seems like a wand should be something to help you focus your inner power to aid in a spell and not necessarily be totally required for a spell. The actual magic must come from the caster, implying that they might be able to cast some simple spells and cantrips without a wand. They don’t use wands to pull up their brooms or fly them. Why, then, do they all act like a fish out of water as soon as they get it knocked out of their hands? Also, if I were a wizard fighting another wizard and managed to knock the wand out of his or her hand, why just leave it lying there on the ground for your enemy to pick up and blast you with. I think as soon as that wand was on the ground I would use another spell to set fire to it. Also, if you lose your wand the first movie seemed to imply you could just buy another. It’s not like you are bound to it for life. So if someone burns up your wand could you just pick up a stick off the ground, or a handy No. 2 pencil? They don’t look like they weigh a lot. If I were going into battle I think I would have like eight on me. That way, when the bad (or good, depending on which side of the room you are on) guy blasts it out of my hand I’d be like “Oh, you have disarmed me! I am helpless before your might”. Then, when they look somewhere else, pull out wand number 2 and blammo! How about a wand in each hand?
Second, are there no rules regarding corporal and/or cruel and unusual punishment at Hogwarts? Is the only thing keeping the professors from torturing the students for screwing up Dumbledore’s morality? Snape seems to have a dark bent. If someone pissed him off could he concoct some kind of horrible pain potion, once Dumbledore had been replaced by the bitch in fuchsia? If there are no rules regarding corporal punishment delivered onto the kids bodies that seems like the first step in other kinds of inappropriate contact. Sounds like the happy hunting ground for sexual predators.
Is Sirius Black dead, or what? I have had a couple friends tell me what a great character he is, but to be honest he hasn’t had a lot of screen time. I suspect he was banished or something and may well resurface later on.
What is the deal with the Order of the Phoenix, or all the other stuff everyone seems to be perfectly aware of except for Harry and me. It’s almost like J.K. Rowlings keeps coming up with things she thinks is cool, and injecting it into the next book but expecting us to believe it was there all the time. It’s like if I painted my living room green but then when people came over and commented on it was like “What are you talking about? It’s always been green.” Last movie it was the Tri Wizard Tournament, the one before that the Dementors. This is actually one of the big failings in the whole Star Wars prequel series, in that Lucas keeps expecting the audience to accept things that we are both told and not told but never shown. You know, I think it’s OK to have something appear in a movie that is actually a new deal and introduce everyone to it. Like if Dumbledore had formed the Order of the Phoenix during the summer while Harry was getting beat up by his big dumb cousin.
You know, I have pretty clear recollections of my horrible life at age 14 (usually at night, waking up in a cold sweat), and I can say that if there is one thing I and all of my friends would never do is name an illicit group we were all part of after the principal of our high school. There is no way we would have called it Krembes’s Kommandos. So what part of Dumbledore’s Army sound even remotely cool to a 14 year old? Odds are they would have come up with something cooler or possibly sexual, like the Hogwarts Hunters or the Portland Protective Association (tell me where that’s from, kids). It seems an extremely obvious ploy to allow Dumbledore to take the fall when they get discovered.
That’s pretty much it. I am going to take a very hot shower in hopes it clears my sinuses and go to bed. Lots of movies coming out this weekend, so look for something new tomorrow. See you soon.
Movie Review: Priest
So I had planned to see this opening night and pretend I was a real movie critic by coming out with a review close to the opening weekend, but it turned out my girlfriend really wanted to see it and made me wait until last night. She is really into vampires, which is something of a mixed blessing as it sometimes lets me see great films and sometimes has me watching pretty boy vampires sparkle in the daylight while I look for a spoon to gouge my eyes out. (Twilight sucks. Sparkle vampire image courtesy of the novelty t shirt category).
So, Priest, in 3D (not really by choice, but it was my only option). This is not one of the great vampire movies, but it is also not eye-gougingly bad either. It sits, like 99.9999% of the movies I have reviewed since Paul, right on average. It’s like all of Hollywood has hitched up to the mediocrity train and is steaming towards Bland Junction.
The Priest story comes to us from a Korean graphic novel by Hyung Min-woo. It’s good to know their geek culture encompasses something besides Starcraft. The movie Priest, however, comes to us from the Road Warrior, Blade Runner, Dark City, Blade II, and a Fist Full of Dollars with a sprinkling of Star Wars for flavor. It borrows unabashedly from these and about 1,000 other movies and forces them into a arguably decent rehash, or perhaps new to younger kids.
Speaking of younger kids, let me tangent off a bit here and bitch about the fact that the family in front on us had a little boy with them who was somewhere between 2 and 3 years old. The movie was rated PG-13 for a good reason and at times drifted close to R in terms of gore and violence. The vampires would have given me nightmares at 12, to say nothing of 2. My dad took us all to see Orca the Killer Whale at the drive in when I was 8 and that pretty much ruined the ocean for me for the next five years. Seems like most parents I wouldn’t trust with a pet rock, much less a child.
OK, off my parenting soap box and onto my movie reviewing soap box. Priest is set in an alternative world (every other reviewer or whatever likes to say post-Apocalyptic, but the opening credits clearly showed both Medieval and WWI humans fighting vampire armies, so I refuse to imagine this is set in our world. Also, our world has some terrain) that is apparently flat and featureless as a billiard ball wherein humans and vampires have fought for thousands of years and more or less destroyed the planet, except for a Blade Runner-esque steam punk city where everyone dresses like an escapee from the Great Hot Topic Massacre. The city has for some reason purposely blocked out the sunlight, which is established as the humans only real defense against vampires (???). Paul Bettany plays a Priest, a Catholic Church super ninja who had his Ash Wednesday cross tattooed onto his face. His brother, who appears to be living on a farm that literally produces dust, is mortally wounded by a vampire attack and his niece is kidnapped. Priest needs to go back out into the wilds to rescue her and kill the vampires, but the head of the church, who I will refer to as Monseigneur Stupid, decides that, in spite of the fact that vampires were not killed off completely but reside peacefully on reservations (sucking on rat blood, I guess) and he loses absolutely nothing by letting Priest go off and get himself killed, there is no way the attack could have been vampires and forbids Priest to go. He goes anyway on his super ninja electric/solar motorcycle that can exceed 200mph on dirt and hooks up with the local sheriff who told him about the vamp attack.
Anyway, some other Priests are sent after him for no real reason except for the insult the first Priest gave unto the Church, including the new love of my life, Maggie Q. A bad guy in Western drag named Black Hat (possibly for some article of clothing he was wearing, but I can’t be sure) is involved. Vampire hunter hijinks ensues. Vampires and innocent humans get killed. Stuff blows up. Deep dark secrets are revealed. The fuze is lit for a sequel.
Anyway, the stars. The animated opening credits were really cool. One star. In spite of the limited material handed them by the dialogue, all the main characters delivered a pretty good performance. Paul Bettany was especially good. One star. The steam punk city and Gothic costumes were pretty cool. One star. The action sequences were decent and made sense (obviously they hired a fight choreography). One star. Except for the attitude of Monseigneur Stupid, the story was reasonably linear and more or less didn’t strain my brain. One star. The CGI was well done but not over used. One star. Overall the visuals were good. One star. Total: Seven stars.
Now the black hole. The dialogue was limited. One black hole. The whole movie was extremely derivative. One black hole. Some of the action sequences strained my suspension of disbelief enough to give it a hernia (sorry, but no one can survive jumping off a motorcycle at 200+mph). One black hole. After 10 minutes in a cool, semi modern dark Gothic city, they then spent the rest of the movie in a much cheaper to shoot open flat wasteland with NO TERRAIN FEATURES WHATSOEVER. It was like they filmed most of the movie in a giant parking lot. One black hole. During the course of the movie they kept hinting at some kind of character development that never surfaced. I can’t help but feel they could have added a lot to the film by exploring deeper the relationship between Priest and Black Hat, or even Priest and the female Priest. One black hole. Total: five black holes.
Also, like I did in my Fast Five review, I have a few things that bugged me but really aren’t worthy of a black hole. First off, the movie was only 88 minutes. I don’t feel like the pacing really suffered for being short, which is why this doesn’t get them a black hole, but if I am going to pay $10 for a movie ticket I want to feel I am getting a decent value. Remember all that missing character development I gave you a black hole for? Maybe sticking a few minutes of that into this movie might have made my wallet feel better. Also, I can honestly say I feel ripped off for paying an extra $4 for 3D. The 3D did absolutely nothing to enhance the film and was hardly noticeable, at least until my usual 3D headache started to kick in.
So, a total of 2 stars. Not bad, not great. If you are a fan of Blade style action see it on a big screen. Don’t waste your money on 3D. I think overall it’s worth seeing in a theater, as a lot of the visuals and action may suffer on a smaller screen.
That’s it. I have an idea for something funny for tomorrow so check back. Have a great day.
