The Pros at Cons A Review of Convolution 2014: Halfway Home Part 5
Day 2 continued. Arachnid Tribbles, More Corsets, and Lasers.
Turning around I talked with a very striking and tall young lady with a shaved head whom I’d seen wondering the floor in the convention earlier. She sat at a booth of splendid little hand-made black fuzzy things that looked like arachnid tribbles as designed by Jim Henson’s creature shop (I mean that in the best possible way). The shop is called Monster Pet Emporium and the young lady was named Alice, I think (I didn’t write it down because I’m not a very good journalist). You can find them on Etsy or Facebook and the monsters are made by someone with the handle of Grue, which I also dig. (The facehugger image I pulled from Dave’s horror movie t shirt collection and seem appropriate especially given the next paragraph)
I was feeling a bit fatigued by then and went to a dim corner where the dudes who run Corset.net, Ben and Dan, were hanging out and talking about other upcoming conventions they would be attending either as fans or as vendors. They were going directly to Gilroy after the vendor room closed that day to party with the Northern California Renaissance Faire people. Then in February in San Jose they were talking up Panthea Con, an alternative and pagan spiritual con. They also had some really beautiful stuff at their booth, from Elizabethan era recreations to very high-fashion modern boned corsets, but unfortunately I had already found the only corset for me and I was anxious to leave the vendor’s room at that point.
Next to them was a small booth with a young man sitting and he seemed a bit ignored with all the larger booths surrounding him so far from the entrances to the hall. So I stopped to talk to him. His name is Barry Figgins and he is a laser-smith at his own company, called Lyris, which sounds every bit as awesome as it in reality is. He had hand made (well, laser cut from fitted wood pieces a Settlers of Catan game board to look like it was actually made in medieval times. I don’t play that game, but I know a ton of people who would love that kind of thing. What really spoke to me was that he had a bunch of cool functional art pieces that he’d made, like a wood box held together with tiny magnets to hold dice or a 3-d map of San Francisco. Plus, he was laid back and cool in that way that makes nerds think, “This is the kind of guy I want to show up at my weekly game”, regardless of what type of game it is you’re running. He handed me a wood carved, laser inscribed business card and told me he has more free time than sense, so it’s actually a lot more cost effective than it seems.
The Pros at Cons A Review of Convolution 2014: Halfway Home Part 4
Day 2 continued. Corsets, pirates, and writers.
I found a table full of books with two gentlemen sitting in attendance and a hand-drawn sign above them that read, “Silicon Valley Writers Community”. I primarily spoke with Jason Stewart, who gave me his business card and told me that my writing would be welcome to peer review for their group, which also served as a resource for finding agents, editors, publishers and just a connected friendly group of resources and support. I need to get in touch with them ASAP.
There was a tap on my shoulder while I tried to process the idea of joining a writer’s group and a small woman was asking me if I was the person interested in the Hugging Corset. Indeed I was, so I followed her back to her booth. Her name is Andrea Edelman, and she was the leather worker responsible for the piece. She helped me try it on and we talked about it for about ten minutes, discussing how unique it is and how it’s in between an under or over-bust corset. Then we ran back over to the Blue Moon Designs booth to borrow their full-length mirror, where (blonde) Kat and Rob were amazed by the corset and how it looked like it had been made for me, which I and Andrea agreed wholehearted. “I haven’t felt this good about a single item of clothing since the first time I tried on my wedding dress,” I told my reflection mournfully.
“Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that,” Andrea said. I asked her if I could come back tomorrow in my pirate costume and wear the corset over that during the day and advertise for her (in a not terribly dissimilar way to how I had originally proposed to work for Dave at Nerdkungfu when I’d met him at Big WOW San Jose a few months before). She said she’d consider it, and let me know that she would work with me to make sure I could have a workable payment plan if I decided I really wanted to buy it outright. I thanked her and sadly took off the corset and went back around the vendor’s room, having only covered less than half of it at that point. (the pirate image is not part of my costume. Just one of the cool pirate funny t shirts I found on Dave’s site).
The Pros at Cons A Review of Convolution 2014: Halfway Home Part 3
Day 2 continued: Steampunk, Games, Jewelry, and The One.
Next up was one of the more Steampunk themed booths, appropriately titled Steamy Tech, it was wood-carved original gear themed, interlocking, moving art and jewelry. A married couple, Greg and Lora Price had created the company a few years ago and recently added a professional jeweler to add some real pizzazz to the smaller projects. His name is Jay Shoemaker and maybe because he reminded me of my grandfather (another Jay, who was a gregarious and charming blue-eyed woodworker who passed a bit over a year ago), I ended up spending much of the convention just hanging out with him. This booth more than the others made me realize two things about the atmosphere of Convolution: 1) Bring money, because the quality of the goods being sold is worth every shiny penny and if you didn’t come prepared, you’ll leave brokenhearted, and 2) You get out of it what you put into it. If you come in with a good attitude, they will like you and accept you, if you come into it expecting something more like a typical “ComiCon” experience, you’ll be disappointed and ignored by much of the staff, unless you say “Shut up and take my money,” which they will happily accept before forgetting you (in my opinion, rightfully so).
Featherweight Finery was the next booth, a splendid display of artisan vibrant handcrafted jewelry by Sue Toorans, who was also there in the booth and very kind to chat with. She makes aluminum ring chain mail creations that are all unique and fabulous, look sort of fantastical and badass, but classy enough to match with evening wear or light enough to wear all day. (I couldn’t find any good jewelry on Dave’s site but figured this power ring image from the Green Lantern t shirts was close enough).
I wondered around a fair bit, saying hi, explaining about the blog and about what I do, trying to see what the vendors thought of the Con so far (they liked it, many were repeat vendors). Games of Berkeley were there in all their dice and bag ’n’ board glory. Having recently visited their store in person, I didn’t loiter there too long.
Then everything changed: I found her: “The One” who was made just for me. At one of the island booths, near the center of the room, on a table marked “Lucrezia’s Delight” were a stack of fine under-bust boned corsets. On top of the stack, middle of the table surrounded by tiny Gothic-Lolita hats and some other do-dads was a dark green and blue paneled hand-dyed leather corset with punk spikes riveted right into it on the outside, in 4 rows each, front and back. On the tag it said “Hugging Corset, $400”. I was dismayed, as I don’t make a lot of money and I have a lot of responsibilities so there’s just no way I could ever outright buy this beautiful thing that was my perfect size and color and cut and oh my goddess, I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it. I was literally a day late, a dollar short (okay, like 350 dollars short) and underdressed for the occasion. “I should have worn my pirate outfit,” I said out loud for the 8th time that day. The young man working the booth asked me if I liked it and I said something about how it’s the single most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, so he told me that the woman who made it would be back in a few minutes. He pointed to his name badge (which was from the Steamy Tech booth) that lit up and said only “Loyal Minion”. I told him I wanted to try it on and talk to the person responsible. (Although, I had no idea what I’d say. Like, “Hey, I don’t make any money, but I need this in my life. Can I just take it home with me and write nice things about you forever and ever amen?”
He agreed so off I wondered to the next several tables and booths.
(continued next post)
The Pros at Cons A Review of Convolution 2014: Halfway Home Part 2
Day Two: “Come play with us!”
Because we had to kind of guess when the Con opened on Saturday, Dave and I arrived there around noon, when festivities and panels were already well underway. After negotiating with Christine Doyle, the woman in charge of security and front end badge sales, she allowed me to enter with a discount on behalf of my journalistic status; I was to help them by blogging about all the great things I witnessed, and in turn they would put up links on their site to advertise for us as well. I went in feeling optimistic, yet embarrassingly under-dressed. I was wearing jeans, comfortable shoes, my “Paper Street Soap Co.” T-shirt and my red leather “Starlord” jacket, but most of the people I saw were in costume as a character or uniform from one of their favorite sci-fi franchises. As much as I adore Fight Club, it’s not quite sci-fi, and it’s not much of a cosplay to just wear what I thought would look inconspicuous on the bus. Even the people working behind the badge booth were wearing colorful and unique nerd tees and seemed to be having the time of their lives working the Con. I watched a team of 5 fully decked out 501st members march by, lead by a Darth Vader who was fully in character and bigger than life. 
Then I saw two steampunk gear-heads and a Klingon warrior looking at the vendor’s wares (the Steampunk butterfly image I pulled off Dave’s novelty t shirt collection). The whole section of the hotel was refitted with various recycled goods and dressed to look like a late 60’s set for a space station or like the underground vaults of the “Fallout” video game series. I was excited, if a little overwhelmed.
The first person I met inside was a lovely young woman named Chantelle Aimee who was selling some Doctor Who themed T-shirts she had designed herself, as well as some words of advice on writing and some books. She had written and published a few books independently, including books on how to write, structure, edit, pitch and advertise independent books and just some regular fiction prose, but she was also helping a friend sell the books he’d written. Chantelle told me about her books on writing and she had brought them with her in the form of $15 thumb drives that were 3 books of information each (the set of two thumb drives or 6 books was just $25, but I was more interested in one, so I bought that straight off) because she didn’t want to have to pay for printing and shipping, and didn’t want to have to charge the people she was trying to help more for hard copies.
The booth next to hers was full of colorful silks and other rich fabrics and was tended by three colorfully dressed and dapper individuals named Katherine, Rob and Katherine (a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, my favorite!). The place they were working for was called “Blue Moon Designs”. Katherine (the blonde) rushed over to me and enthusiastically asked, “Come play with us!” and right after that, seeing my second-guessing, Rob (the only man in the booth and the brunette) very gently said, “Would you like to come play dress up with us today? It’s fun and you don’t have to buy anything. You look like you’d really fit in here.” I said okay. They tried some things on me, a dark gray vest with flask-holder layered pockets, a blue-green utility belt. It wasn’t quite right. Then they looked at what I had come in wearing and at my face, my coloring, the bright red of my hair and how I had matched my jacket to it. Then they put a rusty red vest with ruffles over the shoulders and D-ring details on the bottom that you could hook keys or a fob watch to, and a matching belt in a different velvety fabric. They topped the look off with a smoke colored silk scarf that had been burned and dyed on the ends by hand to make it look really textured, antiqued, and in close detail, like it was actually glowing embers on the tattered ends. I was a pirate. I promised them I would return the following day in my proper pirate regalia, and we would exchange ideas then. Rob was right. It was fun and I didn’t have to buy anything. And I did fit right in there.
(continued next post)
The Pros at Cons A Review of Convolution 2014: Halfway Home Part 1
By Jae Gibbs
September 25-28, at the SFO Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, CA
Day One: “What the Heck is Convolution?”
I had heard about Convolution when I attended Kubla-Con, a gaming convention which was also held at the Burlingame Hyatt a few months ago. The thing is when I heard about it, I didn’t hear much. What is Convolution? I was told it was just a general pop-culture convention, then a sci-fi and fantasy specific convention, then that it was about writers and finally that it was supposed to be focusing on sci-fi and the ways that fans of science fiction communicate and interact with one another. That still seemed very nonspecific to me, but I liked the concept and the location and I had heard something about a lot of the proceeds from the Con going to local charities, so why not, right?
As time went on I periodically would check the site to see if any more specific updates were added, but I was disappointed by the lack of user-friendly data on the site. I had a nearly impossible time finding usable links to the named guests’ websites, the accurate schedule for each of the days, or even a clear mission statement for the theme and reason for holding the convention this year (or how it related to charity, or how long this specific Con had been held at said location… ) so it was all rather frustrating, especially for Dave, who didn’t know if it was worth paying for a badge to go for just me or if he should (and would be able to) attend himself, or if we should try setting up a booth there this or next year. “I have no patience for bad marketing or poor web design,” he told me, and I was sad to agree. Things looked grim.
Due to all this plus unforeseen schedule conflicts, neither David nor myself were able to attend day one of Convolution, and that’s a shame. A friend of mine, author Fred Wiehe, was giving a lecture that day on something he knows a great deal about: Witches, Vampires and the Walking Dead 
(The Walking Dead image of The Walking Dead category.)
You can check out His book, “Alreric: Monster Hunter” on Amazon. This is how and when I realized that’s what this convention was all about: authors and artists and craftspeople taking their wares straight to the people and teaching them how to do these things themselves for fun and profit. It’s not just about going to Con to show off and argue and prove your fandom is better or your geek cred more true, it’s about community and education. That’s a worthy cause which feels very close to my heart.
15 Fictional Characters I wish were real life friends of mine: 1 of 15
I don’t want to disparage any of my actual friends but there are days when I wish they did more exciting things then release engineering or biological science. My friends are great people and I love to hang with them, but every once in a while you can’t help but wish you had a cadre of really, really cool fun friends who would make even more people want to hang out with you.
Thus we come to this list of fictional characters I wish were real and would hang out with me on a Friday night at the local coffee hole. These aren’t necessarily the coolest characters ever but just people I think would be great to have as friends. When you think about it does hanging out with Darth Vader or the Predator really sound like fun? Not really but these are all other characters that I think would be a blast to chill with who may or may not have some kind of super power or technology. So here we go:
15. Optimus Prime
Everyone needs a friend who owns a truck, and what could be better than that? How about a friend who IS a truck? Talk about making your next move easy. Plus he seems to have a pretty good sense of humor, and his fatherly voice just oozes comfort. This is a good example of a character who might not be the coolest but who would make a better friend. Megatron is actually cooler but if you called him to help you move a refrigerator he would probably just finger flick you into the next county.
Why would Optimus Prime want to be my friend you ask? Good question. I suppose I could give him a good wash once in a while. Plus I’m really good about not eating food in the car so he wouldn’t have to worry about that. If he and the rest of the Autobots were going into action and he told me to stay back at headquarters I would be totally OK with that. I specifically would not sneak aboard his trailer or talk Bumblebee into giving me a lift to the battle so I could totally distract him or be used as a hostage. I would also work to become friends with the guys who run the local police impound yard so if he is ever towed I could get him out quick.
Optimus Prime image courtesy of the Transformers t shirt category.
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15 Fictional Characters I wish were real life friends of mine: 2 of 15
14. Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride
The man is an expert swordsman and knows how to get lit and party. Wesley nailed it when he said “I think you would make an excellent Dread Pirate Roberts.” That would be a fun boat to sail on. Plus I could totally see him drawing in the hot chicks with his Spanish accent, tight pants, swashbuckling fencing skills, and smooth charm only to pass out drunk in a pool of his own vomit, leaving the girls in need of a comforting shoulder to cry on and a ride home and guess who pops up then? In the parlance of the sleazy chick picking up world Inigo would not even be a wingman. He would be what we call a bird dog. Think about it.
Why would Inigo want to be my friend? Well, I’m actually really good at making sure my drunk friends make it home safety and that they pass out on their stomach so they don’t choke to death when they puke. 
I would totally be a designated driver for Inigo (you know,designated drivers the life saving dorks although I like to think of myself as a hero from not getting blasted and driving safely. Heroes image courtesy of the Heroes t shirt category). Plus while I am not Andre the Giant sized I am big and can pick up a beer keg with one arm if need be. I could totally do booze runs for Inigo.
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15 Fictional Characters I wish were real life friends of mine: 3 of 15
13. Gleep and Gloop from the Herculoids
There are times when I value silence in my friends (in other words once in a while I wish they would shut the hell up) and Gleep and Gloop don’t really say much. Plus they are like walking marshmellows with eyes and a mouth. I kind of always liked that look for being a comic character I can actually draw myself. I was a fan of Shmoo too but he never shut up. Gleep and Gloop have a flying dragon they can ride around on and if there is a cooler means of travel short of a transporter I don’t know what it is. I kind of see these guys hanging around my crib like animated bean bag chairs and nodding or making agreeing noises every time I say something pithy. Plus I figure if I hang around with them long enough I’ll be able to solve the mystery of whether they are husband and wife, brothers, sisters, father/mother and son/daughter, or for that matter what sex they are anyway. It’s those sorts of questions that keep me up at night.
Why would Gleep and Gloop want to be my friends? Duh. They are walking talking skinless marshmellow chicks. I think they would be thrilled to be friends with anyone with a skeletal system.
(Skull image courtesy of the Punisher t shirt category)
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15 Fictional Characters I wish were real life friends of mine: 4 of 15
12. Coach McGuirk from Home Movies.
Generally watching sports sucks for me, and of all the sports none is as boring as soccer. However the greatest figure in soccer for me will always be Coach McGuirk. He treats it with the appropriate amount of seriousness. He drinks a lot of beer, has a cool voice, and is super sarcastic in a dumb way. Plus he drives a cool car. I would want him to be my friend so he could be the best wingman ever. He has massive cojones and will talk to any girl out there but is such a boorish oaf that it would not be hard to totally swoop in and score over him. Plus he is in terrible physical shape so it would not be hard to look better then him. 
Basically I would be using him like the man in the yellow hat uses Curious George to score with women (I have always assumed. Image courtesy of the Curious George t shirt category)
Why would Coach McGuirk want to be my friend? Well, like him I hate soccer and am sarcastic. I’m good at pushing cars so when his breaks down I can help him. I think he and I could just relax and then head out to a bar to try to pick up chicks. He is not the best thinker and the cool thing about having some dumb friends is they are easy to fool. All my friends are smarter than I am damn the luck. I’m McGuirk to them.
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15 Fictional Characters I wish were real life friends of mine: 5 of 15
11. Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters.
This one’s a no brainer. I would want Venkman to be my friend because he is just funny and sarcastic as hell. Of course this could totally backfire when he started making fun of me and treating me with contempt like he does pretty much everyone. However I think I could hit him back with the fact that he has a PhD in a pseudo science and got fired for doing nothing but torturing undergrads. On the other hand he is pretty smooth with the ladies and kind of a horn dog. I don’t know if I need that competition.
Why would Venkman want to be my friend? I honestly am struggling with this one. He seems to have no real friends just guys he works with and treats with contempt and disrespect. I guess he is friends with Stantz and Egon but doesn’t show them a lot of love. This is a situation where I would have to count on my natural charm to win him over. In the castle in my head everyone loves me.
By the way the Ghostbusters logo I found in the Horror Movie t shirt category but for the life of me can’t decide if it belongs there or not.
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