Lucy Review
Ever wonder what Limitless would have been like if Bradley Cooper had breasts and was a hot(ter) chick? Wonder no more.
Before I get into this I want to talk a bit about these reviews. I have been evaluating my time and what the results are. These reviews take hours to write and since I don’t get a lot of readers anyway I think I am going to cut back a bit. No other reviews I read go as deep into it as I seem to so I will follow their lazier example. Maybe I’ll get even more readers? Who’s to say. I will also focus on the fun parts I enjoy: seeing the film, complaining about Hollywood, bitching about my love life, coming up with bizarre entertainment conspiracies, unlikely analogies, and making an ill informed recommendation based on zero qualifying experience. The parts I will skip are the ones that take a lot of time and aren’t even that much fun to read: detailed story recap, listing every actor along with a filmography, and my overly complex stars and black hole rating system. I’ll go to the traditional 0-5 star rating system but instead of stars let’s call them Phasers in honor of my love of Star Trek.
So Lucy. Of the laundry list of things I am disappointed with in Hollywood and the crap they keep pushing out (oh, yeah, I’m definitely not giving up on the subtle biological, scatological, and obscene jokes) has to be the decline of certain movie producers I used to respect. Highest on this list is probably Luc Besson (Wait a minute! Luc + y = Lucy! You clever egomaniac!), whom I used to think was one of my top guys in film but now I approach his movies with the same enthusiasm a finalist in a hot dog eating contest would his 47th hot dog: it probably has some good flavor were this the first one but honestly all you have is an amalgam of random animal parts and rat excrement just like the last 46 and your reward for finishing will be…another hot dog.
So what makes this movie different for Luc is that instead of mining his own old movies in hopes of finding an unused gem he is now ripping off other people’s movies. This film is pretty much the Buddhist female lead version of Limitless with a super healthy dose of the Matrix and a big chunk of Akira floating around like a beer bottle in a swimming pool. Also for some reason Tree of Life dominated the visuals. Since Limitless was kind of a rip off of Charly (which was based on Flowers for Algernon) that makes this the least imaginative story premise ever. I’d also like to point out that the theory that we only use 10% of our brain was developed by two nutjobs in the 1890’s and has since been disproven over and over again. The “science” behind this film is at all times laughable.
