- Barney Stinson
- The bartender at MacLaren’s Pub who never says anything.
- Any of the hot bimbos Barney hooks up with from any episode ever.
- Lily Aldrin
- Any of the chicks Ted Mosby dates on his way to meet his dream girl.
- His future wife who has yet to be seen or heard from.
- Marshal Erikson.
- Any of my imaginary friends who populate any TV show I watch (most of them are Vulcans).
- Any crew member from the production company not in front of the camera.
- Robin Scherbatsky
- Any of the dudes Robin dates for a while.
- The entire population of New York City.
- The entire population of the world.
- Any venomous snakes, rabid rats or other dangerous animals and vermin who might be in the alleys and sewers in and around MacLaren’s pub.
- The cockroach Robin smashed with her hand in one episode.
- The ebola virus.
- Ted Mosby.
How I Met Your Mother Season 9 is up on NetFlix and I’m conflicted #howimetyourmother
So yes I have watched all 8 prior seasons and yes I will probably watch season 9 but the question is whether I am excited to watch them or whether I’m secretly dreading it. I guess just by asking that question I have answered it for you but I kind of see it as getting an ex girlfriends name tattoo lasered off: you know it’s going to be painful and every minute you spend in that chair will be another agonizing reminder of her but at the end you will be glad it’s done and you will have regained whatever dignity you can dredge from the bottom of the septic tank of your life.
The thing is this: I started watching the show because I have yet to see Neil Patrick Harris do something bad (well, except for that whole Dougie Howser MD thing. Early 90’s television sucked) and in truth it is his character that keeps me coming back. However the rest of the cast collectively make being dragged behind a pickup truck by a rope for a couple miles look fun. In fact, let me summarize my feelings about the cast by putting them in my favorite order with this handy dandy numbers list that I just found out my blog can do:
Yes, he is the perfect example of a man who has managed to suck his testicles back into his body with force of will alone. Normally when I see a character that I want to push his face in with my fist that badly I just drop the show, but the combination of Barney Stinson, the hot chicks that seem to crawl out of the woodwork at MacLaren’s on any given night, and the super hot Colby Smoulders (I hate her character but would still marry Colby as long as she agreed to reserve her unsolicited comments to things like “Run, Dave! The volcano is erupting!”) keeps me coming back. Remember the scene in Time Bandits where Robin Hood is giving each of the peasants something valuable and after they accept it the other guy punches them in the face? That’s what watching this show is like.
Oh well. I will for sure watch it if only to see who they finally cast as Ted Mosby’s poor wife. That marriage will for sure last until death because
there is no way any woman could live that that whiner for more than a couple years before poisoning his cornflakes. Also I still enjoy Barney a lot and let us never forget that in spite of his anti nerd sex appeal image he is a huge Star Wars fan, making him at least part nerd (Stormtrooper image courtesy of the Star Wars T Shirt category). I just don’t know how much I am destined to enjoy it.
A Walk Among the Tombstones Review #AWalkAmongtheTombstones
Not exactly a tiptoe through the tulips.
I often say things like “I am a fan of so and so” or “I enjoy this persons movies” typically as a prelude before explaining exactly why I hate that persons latest role or movie. Rather then say I am a fan of Liam Neeson I am going to say I am a fan of Liam Neeson when he plays the right role. What is that role you ask? That role is a desperate loser on the dirty end of the poo stick of life desperately trying to save someone or find some kind of redemption. It is very specifically NOT when he is playing any form of Jedi or other super James Bond Superman. He was good as a desperate loser in the Grey. He sucked as an indestructible super spy in Taken 2. He was good as an alcoholic loser in Non Stop. He sucked as an admiral in Battleship. So I am a fan of his in the right role.
So was this the right role for him? Yes. He plays an ex alcoholic ex cop trying to do the right thing in a bad situation. I enjoyed his character a lot. 
Superman is hard to cheer for when you know there is a limited list of material in the universe that can actually hurt him but seeing Liam Neesons character get his guts stomped out but still keep on struggling makes us identify with him more and more (image courtesy of the Superman t shirt category). I worry for the future of cinema based on the whole anti-bullying campaign kids are subjected to these days. You can’t really root for the underdog unless you have been forced to eat dirt off the ground by a kid three years and 40 pounds heavier than you. Oh well. Sorry kids you are being raised to be wimps.
So how about the film, Dave? Decent but not great. This movie didn’t just drink the noir punch; it hooked a tanker truck full of noir punch to it’s food hole and turned the spigot to full blast until dark angsty crime drama was gushing from every pore and orifice. There was not a single character in this film that couldn’t have shifted from good to bad at the drop of a hat except for maybe the 14 year old girl. The film is basically a Scooby Doo mystery complete with a big chunk of deus ex machina but there is a reason we love good mysteries. However the mystery was solved with the linear approach normally reserved for drawing lines from point A to point B. No real twists and no real depth. “Some guys are kidnapping and killing women. Now we find them by finding out who their next victim is. Now we end the film.”
