Farewell Mr. Spock
I’m sure by now you have heard the news regarding the death of Leonard Nimoy yesterday. Most of the nerdosphere heard it within about an hour. I was going to write this last night but honestly needed some time to collect my thoughts and feelings regarding the death of my all time favorite actor.
Readers of this blog back when I did a lot more writing on it and most of my friends will have gleaned that my childhood was not exactly a Norman Rockwell-esque wholesome love and kisses with fireworks on the 4th of July clone of the Wonder Years. My father was an abusive alchoholic rage monster who’s one contribution to my upbringing was a desire to “make me tough” with a Darwin/Nietzsche approach and my mother was so wrapped up in surviving him that she more or less left with zero attention. My so called peers and friends were to a kid hierarchical bullies with me inevitably at the bottom of the pile and my teachers oblivious to the crap I was dealing with. Each day was a miserable struggle with the only the question of whether school, after school, or home would be the most awful.
The one ray of light and hope in that experience was always for me Star Trek. The crew of the Enterprise was the friends I always wanted and Spock was the father I dreamed of having (with Kirk as the fun crazy but loving uncle who took me out to do stuff my mother (Nurse Chapel) would not approve of). When things were at their worst I could tune into any given episode and suddenly cease to feel like I was traveling this universe alone but instead had Sulu and Checkov piloting the ship with Spock as my eyes, Uhura as my mouth, Scotty as my heart, Bones as my immune system, and Kirk as my brain (plus a raft of Red Shirts to protect me from my enemies). For the 50 minutes or so the show was on I ceased to feel despair and loneliness.
It goes deeper than that. In spite of the craptacular example of what a male is from my father I have grown into a man of honor, honesty, integrity, kindness, generosity, temperance, and level logical thought and everything I know about courage, friendship, loyalty, fair dealing, and problem solving I can lay fairly at Gene Roddenberry’s feet. They provided me with an example of what a good human is at a time when I was surrounded by horrible ones and for that I will be eternally grateful. (This might give you an insight into why I am so constantly furious at the JJ Abrams reboot but we’ll save that for another day.) Every one of my current interest, hobbies, business, and all things that shaped me into who I am now stems from Star Trek.
So we come to the death of my dream father Spock and more importantly the wonderful man who played him Leonard Nimoy. I was such a fan of his that I would religiously watch In Search Of just to hear his voice. Many actors have been cast to play Vulcans and they do so to a greater or lesser extent but in general no one has ever matched Leonards ability to play actual unemotional punctuated by emotional bouts. Most people play Vulcans as just coldly angry but Mr. Nimoy managed to transmit his desire for non-emotion while plagued by his human side. Truly there will never be another one like him. For me he was the father/best friend I always wanted and the person Mr. Nimoy was always seemed not far from that ideal.
I admit that when Spock died at the end of the Wrath of Khan I cried like a little girl and even now thinking about it in context of Leonard passing I find myself tearing up. At the time I knew that the crew I grew up with was never going to be as cool and complete as it was in the past and I felt a piece of my childhood that I cherished dying as well. I feel that even more strongly today and am more sorry about Mr. Nimoy passing than any other celebrity I have ever been a fan of. However, I think his very last Tweet to be apropos of my own experience and feelings:
“A life is like a garden, Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.”
Farewell my dear friend.
David Inman
Feb. 28th, 2015
