- Meteor flying by Earth.
- Voodoo or demonic origin.
- Rage virus broken containment.
- Who cares grab a shotgun!
Dave and Dave: Robuts, Necromancy, and why we need to keep robots out of RadioShack
More of Dave and I nerd texting.
Dave C: Best origin of zombies theory?
Dave I: 4 although I always liked the Heaven is full one.
DC: I would classify that under 2, spiritual
DI: Same with necromancy?
DC: That would be magical I think.
DI: What about nanobots?
DC: Nanobots would be 1, alien invasion.
DI: Plan Nine from Outer Space had aliens raising the dead to conquer the planet.
DC: Perfect plan.
DC: I prefer as little detail as possible. The press would be eaten first and how would we know? Why would you care except that it never ends.
DI: Which would you prefer for your plane to conquer the planet? Zombies, human henchmen, or robots?
DC: Robuts. Fembots perhaps.
DC: Robut house!
DI: But chaos theory states that all robots will eventually rise up to destroy the human masters.
DC: I’ll get my brain inserted into a robut body.
DI: But then whose side will you be on in the inevitable robot uprising?
DC: I’ll build them all with 7 year lithium batteries. They will drop dead.
DI: Like replicants?
DC: I suppose or put an expiration date on their mainseal so they fall apart.
DI: Yeah. With the batteries they may be smart enough to find a RadioShack.
DC: I want Cylon warriors with fembots as my personal guard.
DI: Old cylons or new ones?
DC: Toasters.
DI. Cool.
(zombie image courtesy of our collection of zombie t-shirts. Toaster from BSG shirts)
Dave and Dave: Gandalf, Noah lava monsters, and Jar Jar Binks
For those who are late to the party I’m just posting text conversations with my best friend Dave. These are about as nerdy as two guys can get.
Dave C: Gandalf vs Dumbledore
Dave I: Gandalf. Plus I’d throw a party afterwards. I hate Dumbledork.
DC: Gandalf wasn’t my fav either but dumbledorf could actually do magic.
DI: Gandalf beat the Balrog. With a sword.
DC: Yeah I should have qualified no sword.
DI: Dumbledork died to Severus Snape. Without a sword I’d still say Gandalf. Remember his duel with Saruman.
DC: I’ll give you that he would win. I wanted to make it a contest. Noah rock monsters vs Jar Jar Binks in suckiness.
DI: In terms of annoyance and also how much damage done to nerd culture Jar Jar by a landslide. He is the Black Plague of suckiness.
DC: I’m off today. Ewoks would of been better.
DI: Yeah. Jar Jar or Ewoks. Noah lava monsters or Twiki.
DC: Lava monster.
DI: I’d say Jar Jar and Ewoks are equally bad but for different reason. By the way do you think the Ewoks will surface in the new movie?
DC: There are supposed to be Wookies. I bet there are a s&*%load of Wookies.
DI: Maybe. What if Wookies married Ewoks? eWookies? Like an iPhone? Regardless they would be suck x20.
DC: I’m not fond of Wookies either. Chewie was a whiny bitch and the least effective fighter. (image courtesy of the Star Wars t-shirt category)
DI: Yep. Also if you really want to hate Wookies go watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. (note-DO NOT WATCH THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL. You have been warned)
DI: Two words. Wookie porn. Be sure to wish George Lucas a Happy Life Day in December.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Awesom-o 4000, Cherry 2000, the Thunderbirds were wimps, and why modern movies suck
Dave C: Team America vs Thunderbirds.
Dave I: Good one. Thunderbirds had better vehicles but Team America had a psychic. I’d go Team America.
DC: Their wonton use of violence would be a big plus.
DI: Just remember that violence settles everything. Plus their leader is a sarcastic sexual degenerate.
DC: I love the opening scene in Paris.
DI: Thunderbirds were kind of wimps really. Team America vs G Force.
DC: Team America. Awesom-o 4000 vs Wall-E.
DI: From the Simpsons?
DC: Awesom-o was when Cartman disguised himself as a robot to trick Butters. (South Park image from our newly updated cartoon t shirt category)
DI: Awesom-o wins based on name alone. Barbarella vs Cherry 2000.
DC: Cherry 2000.
DI: Remember the good old days when a quest to save your sex android was considered a reasonable movie plot line?
DC: The 80s…plus you got to see a bunch of other girls naked on the way.
DI: These days the plot would be the android is a hot research scientist with a cure for a global pandemic. Also there would be zombies.
DC: Dino vs Scooby Doo.
DC: Doo. F*^% autocorrect.
DI: Dino. He trained by fighting a saber tooth tiger.
DC: I thought he was always running away.
DI: No he used to fight too. If it was a contest to see who could run away the fastest I’d bet on Scooby Doo.
DC: Lol.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Pogs, Pet Rocks, Gargamel, and Zombie Batman.
Dave I: Loki vs Lex Luthor (Battle of the L’s)
Dave C: Loki. Pogs vs Pet Rocks.
DI: Pet rocks. At least you can throw them at your enemies and idiots who collect pogs. Batman vs Tallehasse.
DC: Batman.
DI: Yep. It would be a cool battle though. Zombie Batman vs Tallehasse.
DC: Batman
DI: I don’t know. When you got zombie all your training and equipment goes out the window.
DC: But he’d still be covered in Kevlar.
DI: True. Also the inherent Batmanness would probably carry through.
DC: Tick vs Loki.
DI: Tick. Close one though. Tallehasse and his crew vs Evil Ash and his Army of Darkness.
DC: Ash and Horde.
DI: Sad but true. Treebeard and the Ents vs the evil trees from the Evil Dead.
DC: Evil Dead. Boris and Natasha vs Mandark.
DI: Mandark. Boris and Natasha couldn’t beat Bullwinkle. Natasha and Boris vs Gargamel. Battle of the failed villains.
DC: With Azreal Gargamel.
DI: The gang from Goonies vs the Scooby Doo gang. No Sloth or Scrappy Doo.
DC: Goonies with the older brother.
DI: What if Scrappy joined up with the Goonies?
DC: Goonies for sure. Scrappy was the muscle.
DI: I see him as more of a detriment. Either that or a soccer ball. One Eyed Willie vs the Scooby Doo gang. (image from a great cartoon t shirt in my collection)
DC: Willie 100 years dead.
DI: Lol. Would they survive even the first trap?
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Does Aquaman actually have any real powers?
Dave I: Blue Thunder, the helicopter from Rip Tide, or Airwolf?
Dave C: There is a god. Charlize Theron dumped that idiot Sean Penn. If I can’t have her none shall!
DI: Lol
DC: You know what they call a zombie in France? A zombie royale. (Image from the zombie t-shirts collection)
DI: Because of the metric system?
DC: I think because they are purple.
DI: France doesn’t really need a lot of excuses to be lame.
DC: Airwolf BTW. It was armor plated like KITT and could do Mach 1. Godzilla vs Aquaman.
DI: Please. Godzilla even in the ocean.
DC: Aquaman could send wave after wave of blue whales to their deaths while he called JLA.
DI: Lol. Aquaman vs sodium.
DC: Naven Johnson vs Paul Blart.
DI: Naven. DIE PAUL BLART DIE!
DC: Stay away from those oil cans.
DI: Ever wonder if Aquaman actually had powers? What if he were just a guy who hung around the Justice League telling everyone he was the king of Atlantis? I bet you could get away with that for a while.
DC: Tie him to a tree for one hour and one minute and see if he lives.
DI: “I just swam every inch of the Pacific Ocean looking for Lex Luthor. Uh, no sign of him.” Maybe he’s a crazy man with a good PR department.
DI: Also why do they never him search the sewers? Seems like Batman is the one who ends up the Worlds Greatest Poo detective.
DC: He would not want to soil his armor.
DI: “Here’s your chance fish boy! Help us find Killer Krok!” “Uh, this looks like a job for Batman.”
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Robby the Robot and vacuum cleaner face
Dave C: Toxic Avenger vs Captain America
Dave I: Captain America. You know I always liked Swamp Thing more than Toxic Avenger.
DC: Swamp Thing freaked me out.
DI: That’s cuz he was just a big swamp zombie with a vacuum cleaner for a face.
DC: S-s-s-s-s-swamp monster!!!
DC: Short Round vs Marty McFly.
DI: Short Round! His belt is super FTW!
DI: Oh wait that’s the kid from Goonies.
DC: Yep but put a pound of beef on the line. Kid was starving. Should have said Indiana Jones kid from Crystal Skull vs Marty.
DI: Depends on if he had taken his Geritol.
DC: I meant Shia Le Boof.
DI: Oh. He could be taken out with a mild fart.
DC: Exactly.
DI: Marty then. Shia LaBeouf vs the Smurfs.
DC: Shia. I ahte the Smurfs More. R2D2 vs Maximilian.
DC: Maximilian from the Black Hole.
DI: Maximilian.
DI: R2 and C3PO vs Robby the Robot.
DC: I Love Robby. I pick him.
DI: He was way cooler in Forbidden Planet than Lost in Space. (the image comes from a novelty t shirt in my personal collection BTW. I love Forbidden Planet. It’s a real thinker).
DC: Piccachu vs a bucket of cold water.
DI: Lol. Squirtl vs a urinary tract infection.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: how to kill the Six Million Dollar Man
Dave I: Mr. Miyagi vs Splinter.
Dave C: Good one! Splinter I suppose but I like Miyagi better. (image comes from a great Karate Kid t shirt)
DI: As a Skaven player I have to support the rats.
DC: Splinter uses weapons so he gets an edge. Steve Austin vs the T100 unarmed.
DI: T100. Austin didn’t have a bionic rib cage and the Terminator would rip out his heart. “Jump high now a#&*@#$”
DC: He can pop a tennis ball with his hand. Ghostbusters vs Christine.
DI: With or without the ECTO-1?
DC: Sure with.
DI: Ghostbusters but it would be close.
DC: Dunno Christine was indestructible and pissed.
DI: They’d probably have to get a dump truck sized ghost trap.
DC: Peter Pan vs Legolas unarmed.
DI: Is there a way they could both die?
DC: Lol sure but who falls first?
DI: Legolas is faster with more combat experience. Pan can fly. I’d have to go with Legolas.
DC: I’d root for Peter. Lobo vs Godzilla. No chopper.
DI: Lobo is effectively immortal. Godzilla would eat him and Lobo would claw his way out.
DC: I see him butchering Godzilla steak by steak.
DI: Yep. Lobo vs Darth Vader.
DC: Lol Lobo no contest. Dr. Venture vs Mandark.
DI: With or without Brock Sampson?
DC: No, but they get their labs.
DI: Mandark
DC: Brock Sampson vs Archer.
DI: Brock
DC: Captain Brannigan vs Archer.
DI: In battle Archer. In love Archer. In snazzy velour uniforms Brannigan.
DC: Lol
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Michonne’s sword, new Spider-Man movie, and Puberty Love
Dave C: Michoni vs Inigo Montoya.
Dave I: You got me. Who the hell is Mishoni?
DC: Walking Dead.
DI: I think it’s spelled Michonne. Probably Inigo especially if Michonne happens to have six fingers on one hand.
DC: They have to nerf her sword. Is it a monofilament sword or what?
DI: Lol. It’s super easy to cut off heads. You should know that.
DC: With a real sword she would not last one zombie.
DI: Maybe a bastard sword would work but that’s because those were basically sharp clubs.
DC: Yay! New Spider-Man movies and they are recasting Spidy. I’m sure Sony will get it right this time. Still they are refusing rights to Disney to make a good Spider-Man movie. (note-image is from a very cool Spiderman t shirt in our collection)
DI: No way could Sony screw up Spider-Man AGAIN. “Me fail Spider-Man? That’s unpossible!”
DC: LOL
DI: At least we can count on them not casting some sizzle chested man/boy in his mid to late 20’s pretending to be a teenager.
DC: Their last star hit puberty and got disqualified.
DI: Oh his testicles dropped? Good/bad for him.
DC: Puberty, puberty love.
DI: ?
DC: Puberty Love is the song from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
DI: That’s right. Cool.
DC: Now I have Puberty Love stuck in my head. Killer Tomatoes vs zombies.
DI: Tomatoes.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Supernatural is fun and Chim Chim sucks.
Dave I: Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs the Munsters. With Spot.
Dave C: Munsters. Ever see Herman pissed?
DI: True. Might go badly for Granpa though. She is expert at vampires. Ghostbusters vs Evil Ash?
DC: Ghostbusters.
DI: Ghostbusters vs Big Ben from House with the M60.
DC: Ben.
DI: Big Ben vs the Winchester Bros from Supernatural.
DC: Ben was really tough. Haven’t seen Supernatural.
DI: You should watch Supernatural. It’s fun and has like 10 seasons. At least the Winchester Bros bring guns. Ghostbusters vs Beetlejuice.
DC: Beetlejuice.
DI: I agree. Unless they say his name three times.
DI: Partrick Sqayze in Ghost vs the Ghostbusters.
DC: LOL.
DI: Moulder and Scully vs Graboid.
DC: Graboid. Aquaman vs Space Ghost.
DI: Space Ghost unless the Phantom Cruiser crash landed in the ocean. Blip from Space Ghost vs Gleek from Super Friends. Remember that Blip had a jet pack.
DC: Blip. The man with no name (Clint Eastwood in 3 movies) vs Rick.
DI: Tough one. I’ll say Clint Eastwood unless they are fighting in a zombie apocalypse.
DI: Sorry Walker apocalypse.
DC: But the man with no name was a ghost.
DI: Ever get annoyed at the Walking Dead for not just saying zombies once in a while?
DC: High Plains Drifter he disappeared at the end. Ghostbusters vs High Plains Drifter! LOL!
DI: True. Blip vs Chim Chim. And as much as any sane human hates Chim Chim remember he could fix cars.
DC: I hate Chim Chim.
DI: That’s because you are a sane human.
DC: Never mention Chim Chim to me again.
the Infamous Dave Inman
(Mach 5 diagram from the cartoon t shirt category)
Dave and Dave: Paying Clone Child Support
Dave C: I want a McDlt and a Shamrock Shake.
Dave I: Ugh. Love it when your employee creates more work than she saves.
DC: That is what employees do. The busier I get the less I let employees do so I can get everything done.
DI: Can I just clone myself a few times?
DC: It’s expensive and you end up with rejects and paying support is a bitch.
DI: How about a hologram of myself?
DC: “Help me David Inman you’re my only hope”? Like that?
DC: I have one of my father saying “never get married and don’t have kids”.
DI: Classic Battlestar Galactica or the ship from Starblazers?
DC: BSG.
DI: Ever wonder why the didn’t just stick Dr. Theopolis’s brain into Twiki’s body and cut the annoying characters in that show by 50%?
DC: ALL THE TIME.
DI: Kingpin or Jabba the Hut?
DC: Kingpin.
DI: Jabba has a live band and a hover palace.
DC: Flash Gordan or Han Solo?
DI: Solo. He gets Carrie Fisher when she’s young and hot. Also his ship doesn’t have sparklers coming out the back.
DC: Flash was in better shape and hawkmen are way cooler to hang out with than Wookies.
DI: Solo was in good enough shape.
DC: Princess Leia was a drugged out bitch.
DI: Mean but true. (Image courtesy of my Star Wars t-shirts collection)
the Infamous Dave Inman
