Aquaman Movie Review Part 1 – Finally DC Has Something to put on T-Shirts to Compete with Marvel
When one is discussing most of the DC Extended Universe movies a number of phrases leap to mind. “Disappointing.” “Craptacular.” “So bad you would need a hazmat suit just to handle the film reels.” “For the love of God fire Zach Schneider!” “A one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.” These are a few of the most obvious ones (honestly I could go on for hours).
The phrase that does not leap to mind often is “Good” or even “Adequate” yet these are phrases you need to describe the new DCEU movie Aquaman (my apologies for fans of last years Wonder Woman movie. It was the other not crappy DCEU movie). Of course this is all taken in context. It scored a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes which I think is entirely fair and justified. 
It is maybe a B- when compared to most of the richness of the Marvel movies (the awesome group shot shirt to the right comes from the Marvel t-shirt category) and a straight C when compared to any good movie from the rest of Hollywood (Fight Club, Reservoir Dogs, the Shawshank Redemption, etc) but on the short bus that is the DCEU (or any film by Michael Bey) it is a resounding A+.
(Continued in part 2 below)
Aquaman Movie Review Part 2 – Underwater Superman in a Bad T Shirt
That is not to say it is not without it’s flaws. It still suffers from the age-old DC movie dilemma of “How powerful is this guy anyway?” Is Aquaman indestructible? He seems to have no fear of bullets and can fall from a flying aircraft to land on his back on a desert sand dune no problem (along with another Atlantean). He didn’t die of thirst while trudging through said desert looking for a Stargate-esque ruin (note to any Aquaman gold or silver age comic book fans-Aquaman would die if out of the water for more than one hour). 
He can pick up a submarine and swim faster than a speeding bullet (in fact he looks and acts remarkably like another DC superhero who shall go nameless but may or may not rhyme with Dupersam. By a totally unrelated coincidence I pulled this image out of our Superman t shirt category. ). However he gets his ass kicked by a giant sea monster and guys with swords nearly gut him (the swords are made from “Atlantean metal” which somehow changes the laws of physics).
The film also suffers from a certain amount “How did he get there?” syndrome. How did Aquaman walk across hundreds of miles of desert without so much as a canteen? How did he surface in Africa with the resources to hire a private plan much less buy a pair of pants? Why did he and Mera have to steal a boat when they can both travel underwater much faster? Were they really worried about the boat sinking? How does Aquaman actually find a single submarine in the midst of being pirated in the middle of the ocean? Do the fish tell him? If so how can the fish tell the difference between sailors and pirates? The list goes on.
(Continued in part 3 below)
Aquaman Movie Review Part 3 – DC Now Has Something to Put on T-Shirts Besides Batman
However the bottom line for any film is always “Is it fun to watch?” and Aquaman definitely is. It has good action, a likeable character in spite of the damning preview we saw in Justice League (where Aquaman sounded like he was too California surfer cheesy to be one of the gang from Point Break), enough back story for Aquaman, Black Mantis, and the other guy to have a believable context, and enough CGI to make the visuals fun without obviously writing to keep your CGI team employed.
The writers even did the classic good move of giving the villains motivation beyond “Arr! I’m evil and will do evil things because I’m evil!” like a certain other supervillain named after a bad 90s hair band did in the aforementioned abominable Justice League (and most other DC movies. Image from a shirt in our Batman t-shirt category). 
Black Manta had a clear reason to want to kill Aquaman (and had the the camera been turned around this could have been a movie about Black Manta and his quest for revenge) and Aquaman’s half-brother honestly thought he was doing what was best for is people.
The acting was for the most part decent from Jason Momoa (for whom I have a soft spot due to Stargate: Atlantis and Nicole Kidman. Amber Heard was OK given her character of Mera but the writing for that character was probably the weakest in the film. Her character kind of wandered back and forth across the screen like a head trauma victim. Willem Dafao was fun to watch too but the stand out star for me was Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta. I thought it a ballsy move these days to cast a black guy as the villain in a movie starring a white dude but Black Manta was awesome. Easily my favorite character (and the rest of the fans if buzz on the interwebs is to be believed) and Yahya truly nailed it.
So overall a movie that will not make you feel stupid for spending $50 for you and your girlfriend to go out and see. In keeping with the scores I did earlier I would give this movie a solid B+ (unless you happen to be an Aquaman fan in which case it is truly an A). Given the visuals you should probably see it on the big screen unless you have a epic home theater. Put aside your typical disgust for the “everything must be dark so says Zack Schneider” typical DCEU film and enjoy.
Dave
