Dave and Dave: Awesom-o 4000, Cherry 2000, the Thunderbirds were wimps, and why modern movies suck
Dave C: Team America vs Thunderbirds.
Dave I: Good one. Thunderbirds had better vehicles but Team America had a psychic. I’d go Team America.
DC: Their wonton use of violence would be a big plus.
DI: Just remember that violence settles everything. Plus their leader is a sarcastic sexual degenerate.
DC: I love the opening scene in Paris.
DI: Thunderbirds were kind of wimps really. Team America vs G Force.
DC: Team America. Awesom-o 4000 vs Wall-E.
DI: From the Simpsons?
DC: Awesom-o was when Cartman disguised himself as a robot to trick Butters. (South Park image from our newly updated cartoon t shirt category)
DI: Awesom-o wins based on name alone. Barbarella vs Cherry 2000.
DC: Cherry 2000.
DI: Remember the good old days when a quest to save your sex android was considered a reasonable movie plot line?
DC: The 80s…plus you got to see a bunch of other girls naked on the way.
DI: These days the plot would be the android is a hot research scientist with a cure for a global pandemic. Also there would be zombies.
DC: Dino vs Scooby Doo.
DC: Doo. F*^% autocorrect.
DI: Dino. He trained by fighting a saber tooth tiger.
DC: I thought he was always running away.
DI: No he used to fight too. If it was a contest to see who could run away the fastest I’d bet on Scooby Doo.
DC: Lol.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Pogs, Pet Rocks, Gargamel, and Zombie Batman.
Dave I: Loki vs Lex Luthor (Battle of the L’s)
Dave C: Loki. Pogs vs Pet Rocks.
DI: Pet rocks. At least you can throw them at your enemies and idiots who collect pogs. Batman vs Tallehasse.
DC: Batman.
DI: Yep. It would be a cool battle though. Zombie Batman vs Tallehasse.
DC: Batman
DI: I don’t know. When you got zombie all your training and equipment goes out the window.
DC: But he’d still be covered in Kevlar.
DI: True. Also the inherent Batmanness would probably carry through.
DC: Tick vs Loki.
DI: Tick. Close one though. Tallehasse and his crew vs Evil Ash and his Army of Darkness.
DC: Ash and Horde.
DI: Sad but true. Treebeard and the Ents vs the evil trees from the Evil Dead.
DC: Evil Dead. Boris and Natasha vs Mandark.
DI: Mandark. Boris and Natasha couldn’t beat Bullwinkle. Natasha and Boris vs Gargamel. Battle of the failed villains.
DC: With Azreal Gargamel.
DI: The gang from Goonies vs the Scooby Doo gang. No Sloth or Scrappy Doo.
DC: Goonies with the older brother.
DI: What if Scrappy joined up with the Goonies?
DC: Goonies for sure. Scrappy was the muscle.
DI: I see him as more of a detriment. Either that or a soccer ball. One Eyed Willie vs the Scooby Doo gang. (image from a great cartoon t shirt in my collection)
DC: Willie 100 years dead.
DI: Lol. Would they survive even the first trap?
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Does Aquaman actually have any real powers?
Dave I: Blue Thunder, the helicopter from Rip Tide, or Airwolf?
Dave C: There is a god. Charlize Theron dumped that idiot Sean Penn. If I can’t have her none shall!
DI: Lol
DC: You know what they call a zombie in France? A zombie royale. (Image from the zombie t-shirts collection)
DI: Because of the metric system?
DC: I think because they are purple.
DI: France doesn’t really need a lot of excuses to be lame.
DC: Airwolf BTW. It was armor plated like KITT and could do Mach 1. Godzilla vs Aquaman.
DI: Please. Godzilla even in the ocean.
DC: Aquaman could send wave after wave of blue whales to their deaths while he called JLA.
DI: Lol. Aquaman vs sodium.
DC: Naven Johnson vs Paul Blart.
DI: Naven. DIE PAUL BLART DIE!
DC: Stay away from those oil cans.
DI: Ever wonder if Aquaman actually had powers? What if he were just a guy who hung around the Justice League telling everyone he was the king of Atlantis? I bet you could get away with that for a while.
DC: Tie him to a tree for one hour and one minute and see if he lives.
DI: “I just swam every inch of the Pacific Ocean looking for Lex Luthor. Uh, no sign of him.” Maybe he’s a crazy man with a good PR department.
DI: Also why do they never him search the sewers? Seems like Batman is the one who ends up the Worlds Greatest Poo detective.
DC: He would not want to soil his armor.
DI: “Here’s your chance fish boy! Help us find Killer Krok!” “Uh, this looks like a job for Batman.”
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Robby the Robot and vacuum cleaner face
Dave C: Toxic Avenger vs Captain America
Dave I: Captain America. You know I always liked Swamp Thing more than Toxic Avenger.
DC: Swamp Thing freaked me out.
DI: That’s cuz he was just a big swamp zombie with a vacuum cleaner for a face.
DC: S-s-s-s-s-swamp monster!!!
DC: Short Round vs Marty McFly.
DI: Short Round! His belt is super FTW!
DI: Oh wait that’s the kid from Goonies.
DC: Yep but put a pound of beef on the line. Kid was starving. Should have said Indiana Jones kid from Crystal Skull vs Marty.
DI: Depends on if he had taken his Geritol.
DC: I meant Shia Le Boof.
DI: Oh. He could be taken out with a mild fart.
DC: Exactly.
DI: Marty then. Shia LaBeouf vs the Smurfs.
DC: Shia. I ahte the Smurfs More. R2D2 vs Maximilian.
DC: Maximilian from the Black Hole.
DI: Maximilian.
DI: R2 and C3PO vs Robby the Robot.
DC: I Love Robby. I pick him.
DI: He was way cooler in Forbidden Planet than Lost in Space. (the image comes from a novelty t shirt in my personal collection BTW. I love Forbidden Planet. It’s a real thinker).
DC: Piccachu vs a bucket of cold water.
DI: Lol. Squirtl vs a urinary tract infection.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: how to kill the Six Million Dollar Man
Dave I: Mr. Miyagi vs Splinter.
Dave C: Good one! Splinter I suppose but I like Miyagi better. (image comes from a great Karate Kid t shirt)
DI: As a Skaven player I have to support the rats.
DC: Splinter uses weapons so he gets an edge. Steve Austin vs the T100 unarmed.
DI: T100. Austin didn’t have a bionic rib cage and the Terminator would rip out his heart. “Jump high now a#&*@#$”
DC: He can pop a tennis ball with his hand. Ghostbusters vs Christine.
DI: With or without the ECTO-1?
DC: Sure with.
DI: Ghostbusters but it would be close.
DC: Dunno Christine was indestructible and pissed.
DI: They’d probably have to get a dump truck sized ghost trap.
DC: Peter Pan vs Legolas unarmed.
DI: Is there a way they could both die?
DC: Lol sure but who falls first?
DI: Legolas is faster with more combat experience. Pan can fly. I’d have to go with Legolas.
DC: I’d root for Peter. Lobo vs Godzilla. No chopper.
DI: Lobo is effectively immortal. Godzilla would eat him and Lobo would claw his way out.
DC: I see him butchering Godzilla steak by steak.
DI: Yep. Lobo vs Darth Vader.
DC: Lol Lobo no contest. Dr. Venture vs Mandark.
DI: With or without Brock Sampson?
DC: No, but they get their labs.
DI: Mandark
DC: Brock Sampson vs Archer.
DI: Brock
DC: Captain Brannigan vs Archer.
DI: In battle Archer. In love Archer. In snazzy velour uniforms Brannigan.
DC: Lol
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Michonne’s sword, new Spider-Man movie, and Puberty Love
Dave C: Michoni vs Inigo Montoya.
Dave I: You got me. Who the hell is Mishoni?
DC: Walking Dead.
DI: I think it’s spelled Michonne. Probably Inigo especially if Michonne happens to have six fingers on one hand.
DC: They have to nerf her sword. Is it a monofilament sword or what?
DI: Lol. It’s super easy to cut off heads. You should know that.
DC: With a real sword she would not last one zombie.
DI: Maybe a bastard sword would work but that’s because those were basically sharp clubs.
DC: Yay! New Spider-Man movies and they are recasting Spidy. I’m sure Sony will get it right this time. Still they are refusing rights to Disney to make a good Spider-Man movie. (note-image is from a very cool Spiderman t shirt in our collection)
DI: No way could Sony screw up Spider-Man AGAIN. “Me fail Spider-Man? That’s unpossible!”
DC: LOL
DI: At least we can count on them not casting some sizzle chested man/boy in his mid to late 20’s pretending to be a teenager.
DC: Their last star hit puberty and got disqualified.
DI: Oh his testicles dropped? Good/bad for him.
DC: Puberty, puberty love.
DI: ?
DC: Puberty Love is the song from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
DI: That’s right. Cool.
DC: Now I have Puberty Love stuck in my head. Killer Tomatoes vs zombies.
DI: Tomatoes.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Supernatural is fun and Chim Chim sucks.
Dave I: Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs the Munsters. With Spot.
Dave C: Munsters. Ever see Herman pissed?
DI: True. Might go badly for Granpa though. She is expert at vampires. Ghostbusters vs Evil Ash?
DC: Ghostbusters.
DI: Ghostbusters vs Big Ben from House with the M60.
DC: Ben.
DI: Big Ben vs the Winchester Bros from Supernatural.
DC: Ben was really tough. Haven’t seen Supernatural.
DI: You should watch Supernatural. It’s fun and has like 10 seasons. At least the Winchester Bros bring guns. Ghostbusters vs Beetlejuice.
DC: Beetlejuice.
DI: I agree. Unless they say his name three times.
DI: Partrick Sqayze in Ghost vs the Ghostbusters.
DC: LOL.
DI: Moulder and Scully vs Graboid.
DC: Graboid. Aquaman vs Space Ghost.
DI: Space Ghost unless the Phantom Cruiser crash landed in the ocean. Blip from Space Ghost vs Gleek from Super Friends. Remember that Blip had a jet pack.
DC: Blip. The man with no name (Clint Eastwood in 3 movies) vs Rick.
DI: Tough one. I’ll say Clint Eastwood unless they are fighting in a zombie apocalypse.
DI: Sorry Walker apocalypse.
DC: But the man with no name was a ghost.
DI: Ever get annoyed at the Walking Dead for not just saying zombies once in a while?
DC: High Plains Drifter he disappeared at the end. Ghostbusters vs High Plains Drifter! LOL!
DI: True. Blip vs Chim Chim. And as much as any sane human hates Chim Chim remember he could fix cars.
DC: I hate Chim Chim.
DI: That’s because you are a sane human.
DC: Never mention Chim Chim to me again.
the Infamous Dave Inman
(Mach 5 diagram from the cartoon t shirt category)
Dave and Dave: Paying Clone Child Support
Dave C: I want a McDlt and a Shamrock Shake.
Dave I: Ugh. Love it when your employee creates more work than she saves.
DC: That is what employees do. The busier I get the less I let employees do so I can get everything done.
DI: Can I just clone myself a few times?
DC: It’s expensive and you end up with rejects and paying support is a bitch.
DI: How about a hologram of myself?
DC: “Help me David Inman you’re my only hope”? Like that?
DC: I have one of my father saying “never get married and don’t have kids”.
DI: Classic Battlestar Galactica or the ship from Starblazers?
DC: BSG.
DI: Ever wonder why the didn’t just stick Dr. Theopolis’s brain into Twiki’s body and cut the annoying characters in that show by 50%?
DC: ALL THE TIME.
DI: Kingpin or Jabba the Hut?
DC: Kingpin.
DI: Jabba has a live band and a hover palace.
DC: Flash Gordan or Han Solo?
DI: Solo. He gets Carrie Fisher when she’s young and hot. Also his ship doesn’t have sparklers coming out the back.
DC: Flash was in better shape and hawkmen are way cooler to hang out with than Wookies.
DI: Solo was in good enough shape.
DC: Princess Leia was a drugged out bitch.
DI: Mean but true. (Image courtesy of my Star Wars t-shirts collection)
the Infamous Dave Inman
Dave and Dave: Buck Rogers, Farscape, Star Wars and Zombie Nation.
Dave I: Chewbacca or D’argo from Farscape?
Dave C: That guy was cool.
DI: I agree. C3PO or Tweeki?
DC: Tweeki just in case 80’s Linda Grey comes looking for him. The cat from Red Dwarf or Three-PO?
DI: I kind of hated them both equally.
DC: Not as much as Dr. Theopolis.
DI: True.
DC: I’d call him meat shield. 80’s Cylon Raider or X-Wing?
DI: X-Wing.
DC: Dang I loved the Cylon Raider. I used to draw them by the billions. You can have 2 Cylons riding bitch.
DI: LOL. Although Command TIE Fighter > all others.
DC: No where to hang your fuzzy dice in an X-Wing.
DI: You know they spent a lot of time looking over their shoulders. Why not have a rear view mirror?
DC: They put a guy in the back to get shot instead.
DI: Not in the X-Wing.
DC: Buck Rogers Thunderfighter or 80’s Colonial Viper?
DI: Viper.
DC: Thunderfighter flys like thunder.
DC: 8 armies in the Total War Warhammer game including Skaven and Chaos.
DI: You had me at Skaven.
DC: Check out the other Total War games. They are renowned for their accuracy. Zombie apocalypse weapon: bow or crossbow?
DI: Bow. Crossbows take to long to reload. (image from a great Walking Dead t shirt I found)
DC: Yes and hard to maintain.
DI: But all zombie weapons pale to insignificance when compared to the spiked aluminum baseball bat.
DC: Haw with a hot Russian redhead. (note-if you didn’t get this reference check out Zombie Nation on Netflix. It’s good/bad)
DC: Everyone should be nicer to Will Wheeton.
DI: He was great in the Guild.
DC: That’s a Family Guy reference to Stewies lisp whhhill whhhweeton.
DI: LOL
the Infamous Dave Inman
Another Text Conversation with Dave and Dave: Big Trouble and Zombie Godzilla
More of the same. I’m just having fun with this.
Dave I: Oh goody. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is going to remake Big Trouble in Little China. Finally the last excuse I need to kill myself.
Dave C: Interesting. They are developing games focused on helping kids with autism relate to others. I’ll show you previews sometime. The games look fun and high quality.
DC: What the hell? I didn’t mean to send that to you.
DI: The ghost in the machine strikes again.
DC: Starring Dwayne Johnson
DI: Next he’s going to remake the Godfather.
DC: I’ll pay one MILLION DOLLARS for the shirt on fire.
DI: ?
DC: Constantine shirt.
DI: Did you watch Constantine?
DC: I liked it. I have a great movie idea: ZOMBIE JAWS!
DI: What about Zombie Bridges of Madison County?
DC: LOL
DI: Zombies are uncool now though.
DC: Exactly. I’m counterculture.
DI: LOL. Zombies vs Transformers the Movie.
DC: Cool.
DI: But not the big cool Trasnformers. I want to see Bumblebee and the small annoying racist Transformers go out under a scrum of zombies while Optimus Prime and the rest are getting their oil changed. (image from the Transformers t shirt category)
DC: Hawkeye movie! Corporal Klinger or Gomer Pile?
DI: I liked Klinger better at least after he stopped wearing dresses. (Note-no dislike of transgendered people. I just thought he looked awful in a dress)
DC: Klinger was actually a soldier.
DI: So in that fight I’d say Klinger later season but Gomer during the slinky cocktail dress years.
DC: LOL the heels would tip the balance. Zombie Godzilla vs Optimus Prime.
DI: Zombie Godzilla as long as Prime doesn’t learn to fly.
DC: I want to see Zombie gaijin.
DI: Let’s do all the dead trends. Zombie ninjas vs zombie pirates in a vampire love story.
DC: Zombie LOTR.
DI: I’d pay to see zombie Shire. Ever see Zombie Strippers?
DC: No.
DI: If you ever need another reason to distrust women or strippers see it. It’s more gruesome than funny.
DC: That’s what I thought. I don’t want to mix horror with boobies.
DI: That’s the problem with the vampire romance movies.
DI: Well, one of the problems.
DC: Existing in the primary one.
DI: When your very existence is an abomination and contrary to all natural and moral laws maybe you shouldn’t make a sequel.
DI: Plus if you star a terrible actress.
That’s it for today.
the Infamous Dave Inman
