Nerd Dating: More Cheap Dates
By an overwhelming margin of one vote (thanks, Gina) I will forgo my review of the movie Skyline and do more cheap dating ideas. Today we will cover the extremely juvenile movie theater marathon.
(I Hate Theater shirt courtesy of the political t-shirt category. Thank god I finally found a reason to crowbar one of my personal favorites in)
This date will only work if have a good enough feeling about the girl and her sense of humor to believe she will think this is funny, so realistically it is more of a second or third date. It also works less well if you are over the age of about 32, so keep this in mind. However, for the mid-20’s girl with the right sense of humor it can go really well.
Here’s how you preface it. You start off talking about movies and what is current. Then you say something like “You know what would be totally fun and completely like high school? If we went to the movies and snuck from one theater to the next.” Play up the flashback to high school aspect and make it seem like you are into it for the fun of it. For the right girl ti will seem like a funny adventure, and for the wrong girl it will be a good way to weed her out as she never talks to you again.
If she agrees, you get to see 2-4 movies for the price of one and can also pretend like you are actually doing something wild and crazy. IF you have never done the multi-theater trick you have either led a much more or much less privileged life than I have up until now, so I will give you some tips.
First of all, you should know that the owners of the theater don’t really care if you do this. The fact is they make hardly anything off the ticket price, in spite of the massive cost. Almost all of the ticket price goes to the studios and the distributors. The theater makes its money on selling you overpriced popcorn and soda. Also, easily 90% of the minimum wage drones also would have a hard time giving less of a crap. However, there is always one tool who thinks he will be the next great security guard or wants to kiss the managers ass. This is the guy you need to watch out for. Ironically he is almost always the one who looks like a total nerd, so be prepared to be betrayed by you own kind.
Planning is critical. Look at the schedule and try your best to not have a ton of time between films. Back in the day the theaters would schedule things so that this was really hard to do, but the fact that theaters don’t really care has made it a lot easier. It is important that you not be seen hanging out in the lobby for a huge amount of time. Bring a jacket and try to alternate between wearing it and not while moving from theater to theater. You can keep the theater happy by buying something every once in a while, although that will take away from your stated purpose of not spending money. It would behoove you to spend a couple minutes before the first movie to plan out your route as well as the route to the restrooms. Above all try to not get noticed up to but not including the point of wearing a disguise. Also, have a backup plan if Theater Johnny Law catches you and gives you the heave ho (I sometimes wonder where this term comes from. I think it has something to do with getting seasick and you’ve eaten too much ho). Some witty comments prepared ahead of time could be used to make you self look good. Spend a lot of time laughing and joking about how you haven’t done this in years (in spite of perhaps doing it the week before) and have a backup plan in case you do get the boot.
Also, the chance of getting kicked increases over time, so given a choice try to see the best movies first. Also the odds of anyone, even you, having the energy for 4 full movies is pretty slim, so don’t be surprised if she suggests cutting out after the 2nd or 3rd. Therefore try to see the sci-fi flick first.
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Gina November 16, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Hmm… your last bit of advice seems a bit paradoxical. If you see the sci-fi flick first, then she is more apt to cut out before completing your rounds. On the other hand, if you don’t see the sci-fi flick first, you risk not seeing it at all. On the other hand, you want to actually support the movie you want to see the most, so you should see the sci-fi flick first.
This is exhausting! I’ll stick with your assertion that the sci-fi flick should be viewed first. If she’s any good at all to you, that movie will give her the strength to see more.
Dave November 17, 2010 at 8:13 am
I agree with the paradoxical nature of my last piece of advice, and admit that to be honest that is a more advanced bit of advice than I should have been using, given my audience. Here’s how it works in my head:
Two things to remember is that all life is a test, and all good compromises leaves both parties slightly dissatisfied. In other words, seeing if she has the wherewithal to sit through a sci fi movie and then still want to see one or more movies with you is a great test to see if she will be able to stomach your interests, and/or how much she actually likes you. And since a compromise on movies will leave both you and your date slightly unhappy, but you have (since reading my blog posts) come to realize that one way to make yourself more attractive to women is to understand that your personal time is valuable and you should consider time spent with her something of a favor to her, why not make her slightly unhappy first. If she is going to bail out after the sci fi movie then why should you have to sit through the chick flick just to get the same result anyway?
Of course, if I were writing advice for women rather than men the order may well be different, but as much as a fan of women as I am I have to come down in support of the Y chromosome. Given the amount that women string along and torture most slightly-awkward-with-girls nerd guys, it seems fair that these guys be taught that a little turnabout is fair play.