Movie Review: Megamind
Ok, I know I shouldn’t interrupt the interview series with Danny Nero, but I just saw this movie and want to do this while it is fresh and the movie is still relevant. Also I have nailed down the rating system and want the chance to present it.
Like many movie reviews, I am going to award movies stars. However, unlike other movie reviewers, I am going to tell you exactly what each star is for. Each positive thing I see in the movie will get a star or two. For example, I might say “Plot was decent. One star.” Then, because I am a nerd who loves outer space and knows what happens to stars when they go bad, I am going to award black holes for negative things I see in the movie. An example might be “After the movie I felt compelled to go upstairs and murder the projectionist in an attempt to keep other film patrons from suffering as I had just done. Four black holes.”
At that point I will add up all the stars and subtract all the black holes and hopefully come up with a number between 1 and 10 in either stars or black 
holes. So a movie like Blade Runner would have like 10 stars and one black hole (for coming out with 14 different versions and making the first release the weakest of them. See the final cut if you haven’t) for a net total of 9 stars, an extremely good score. A movie like Zardoz would have like 10 black holes (plot, acting, character development, costumes, chest hair, the list goes on) and two stars (for having Sean Connery in it and for the fact that pretty much every woman in the film has a nude scene at some point) for a net of 8 black holes, a terrible score. (Blade Runner image courtesy of the movie t-shirt category)
Let’s try it out, shall we? Megamind is an animated superhero movie that borrows so heavily from Superman comics that if it were a lung transplant there would be no chance of tissue rejection. It details the adventures of Megamind, a super intelligent alien sent to earth by his parents while their planet got blow up by a supernova-I mean sucked into a black hole, and his arch nemesis, Metroman, a completely different super powered alien sent to earth by his parents from a different planet that was being sucked into the same black hole. The twist here is that Megamind, the protagonist, is the villain rather than the hero. I enjoyed the movie too much to give any more spoilers that that.
Stars first. Excellent plot-one star. Animation was un-freaking-believable-one star. Main character was very cool-one star. Main character was voiced by Will Ferrell, whom I am a big fan-one star. Main character was a villain-one star. Comic relief characters were not completely worthless but were rather actually pretty bad ass in and of themselves-one star. Dialogue was fun and well written-one star. Female supporting character was drawn as a younger, hotter version of Tina Fey (whom I already think is pretty hot looking) and basically had her sarcastic, dry personality with short haired brunette elfin-like looks-one star. Tons of super villain devices, robots, explosives, and weapons-one star. Total: 10 stars.
Now the black holes. The movie had not just one, but two comic relief characters (in a comedy, no less)-two black holes (one each). Story was kind of predictable-one black hole. While the writers can claim it’s a tribute to comic books all they want, it’s basically a Superman story with a twist-one black hole. Also, they couldn’t decide if they were writing the Incredibles or not-one black hole. Total, 5 black holes.
If you have a 1st grade eduction you can probably subtract the 5 black holes from the 10 stars and get this movies final score in my opinion: 5 stars. However, remember that there is a range of stars (positive) and black holes (negative) so really, it’s like a 15 out of 20. And that’s the last time I will explain that. Essentially a 5 is very good, as even a one star movie is still in the positive.
Also, note that there is no upper limit to either stars or black holes (just like in space). As an example, I give the Star Wars Holiday Special one star for each of the main movie stars that made the horrible mistake of showing up in it and another star for the cartoon first appearance of Boba Fett. Then I give it one black hole for every second of it’s existance-7200 black holes. Plus a black hole each for the appearances of Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, and Jefferson Starship, with 10 bonus black holes for the wookie porn scene and 83 black holes for Bea Arthur singing. Net result: 7289 black holes.
(Please note-that is not my clever way of saying you should see the Star Wars Holiday Special for some kind of nerd cred. There is nothing good about that flick. Trust me. It would be better if you watched the Phantom Menace in slow motion every day for a month than watch that. If you ignore my advice on this you will have a cherished childhood memory sexually abused, murdered, and then have the corpse desecrated. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
But I digress. Megamind gets a 5 from me, which means it’s totally fun. You can bring your kids to it. You can bring a date to it. Heck, I think I’d even bring my mom to it. Well worth seeing, even though I had to watch it in 3d, which gives me a headache.
By they way, as far as that rating system goes, Copyright 2010 Dave Inman
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