Nerd Movie Reviews

Nerd Dating: Spotting crazy girls early pt 6

I think I could write about this for the next six months, but I think I have given you some decent guidelines.  Remember that this list is both not comprehensive and not absolute.  Each girl is different, and finding just one of these items is usually not a complete red flag (the three or more cats rule is one of the few absolutes I can think of).  However, one sign of crazy is usually the herald of an avalanche craziness, so it is rare that you will see one of these running solo.  I’d say after you run into three it’s time to pull the rip cord.

Anyway, I think I will give this topic a rest after this post.  If something comes up later on I might revisit, but I think the time is upon me to move on to the next dating subject.

19.  Does she seem to pick fights with random people all the time? Does she seem to get into a dispute with the server at dinner, cab driver, valet, movie theater usher, or random homeless (fellow) crazy people on the way home?  This is a real bad sign for the crazy meter.  It’s also a bad sign if she seems to shift from “reasonable debate” to “full throttle screaming she-devil” with practiced ease in a shockingly short amount of time.  Imagine Wolverine on the debate team.  (image courtesy of the Wolverine t shirts)

Also, if a girl seems to have a lot of stories about actual violence she has been involved in, stay away.  Sane girls do not get into fights with other girls in her gym locker room.  This goes double if she carries a weapon or weapons other than the typical pepper spray.  I spent some time with a girl who carried a push dagger in her purse.  At first I thought she was cool, but then I realized she was nuts.  Avoid at all costs.

20.  She revels in telling you about the freaky sex acts she has been involved in. This is something that is fun to discuss after you have actually slept with her a couple times, but if she insists on telling you the gruesome details on the first date she is either completely nuts or is testing to see what kind of weird sex acts you are into.  Either way, trouble.  So if she likes to talk about her lesbian experiences, three-or-more-ways, her penchant for handcuffs, or other acts that would be found in one of the “specialty” sections at the adult book store, odds are you will be happier in the long run going some where else.

However, in the short run, this girl could be a lot of fun.  Just walk carefully.

Incidentally, the whole multiple partner thing is a huge intimacy killer.  If you are just going to have fun with her than go for it, but if you are trying to build a real relationship stay away from this subject.

21.  Does she drink or do drugs to excess? Getting hammered on a date as a thin excuse for “losing” control is a vaunted American tradition.  Getting hammered 4 or more nights a week is a bad sign.  Furthermore, while most of the signs of crazy I have listed at least indicated that the girl can be fun and amusing (in the same way being attacked by several hundred Dachshunds can be fun to watch while they chew your nuts off), alcoholics tend to be nothing but depressing.  Also, don’t get sucked into the idea that maybe you can save her and then have the perfect girl.  You can’t, and even if you did she wouldn’t be the same person you met.

While there is nothing wrong in my mind with the occasional imbibing of pot (heck, I live a couple miles from Oaksterdam University) or trying coke once or twice, regular use of anything harder is not only going to make you miserable but could also get you killed.  This goes for prescription meds too.  There was a crazy girl I used to like a lot (before coming up with these guidelines) who was on Xanax the whole time I hung out with her.  She also had a lot of these other issues too, and in the long run proved to be completely loony.

22.  She seems to talk about marriage a lot early on. This may just be my personal Peter Pan “I don’t want to grow up” issues, but I find women who discuss marriage on the first or second date to be trouble.  I don’t mean saying “I’d like to get married some day.”  Rather I mean the one who has her whole wedding planned out and discusses the flowers, venue, and wedding cake with you on the first date.  This is something I have had to increase my tolerance for as I get older and all women are subject to this to a certain extent, so don’t make this the stray that breaks your camel’s back.

I think I am going to wrap it up here.  I could probably add another 20 or so, but honestly all women are subject to at least a few of the minor issues, so unless you plan to swear off women you should probably allow for a few of these in your life.  I’d say pick which ones are really going to drive you nuts and avoid those.  Good luck, my friends.

New dating topic next time I get into it.  Leading up to something big!

Tags: dating crazy girls, Wolverine t-shirts