Nerd Dating: Dealing with Rejection pt 1
“Love is like a snowmobile flying across the frozen tundra that suddenly flips over, trapping you underneath in the sub-zero temperature. At night, the ice weasels come.” – Matt Groening
I am going to suspend the line I was on earlier on making out due to the fact that I recently had an event that has caused me to question my ability to advise anyone on dating. Instead, I am going to discuss something that I am if anything overqualified to discuss: getting rejected and dealing with it.
(By the way, don’t worry too much about me. Odds are by this time next week I will be back in my usual cocky form. I tend to snap back pretty good. Thank god for self delusion)
Anyway, being rejected sucks, and any of my female readers may actually gain something in terms of learning how to make this less painful (or, for that matter, more painful if that is your personal bent, as I currently believe most women are inclined).
In the interest of not being totally bitter and dark I will start off with discussing the timing of being rejected. There are bad times and slightly less bad times to be rejected. I would say a week before Christmas is among the worst times to be rejected. Same with your birthday, 4th of July, or any other weekend that promises to be particularly fun. Tends to be a bit of a downer.
On the other hand, getting dumped right before Thanksgiving is not bad, as you can freely drown your sorrows in the food coma you were going to fall into anyway. Also, being surrounded by friends and family who wish you well is a nice salve for the burn (if, however, you don’t have any friends or family you might as well move to your Unabomber-style shack now).
The worst time, however, to be rejected is right before Valentines Day. No woman will willingly go into V-Day single, so if she dumps you right before it inevitably means she has someone else on deck, as it were. Also, I have found that the whole greeting card industry “You are a loser if you don’t have someone” message hits home like an acid covered harpoon in your gut when you have been recently dumped.
On the other hand, if you are looking for a slightly less painful time to dump a nerd, the best would be about a week before a big video game release. If you are going to dump a nerd and want to let him down easy, do it just before Cataclysm comes out so he can drown his sorrow by ganking lowbies in Stranglethorn Vale (WOW image courtesy of the WOW t shirts category).
It has been my experience, however, that the vast majority of women have little to no interest in making this easier for the guy. If I were a cynical person I would have to say that most of them are solely motivated to end it as quickly and conveniently as possible for themselves with no regard for the damage done as they pull the rip cord. Good thing I’m not cynical.
Incidentally, I am really not normally as bitter as I sound right now. However, I think the bitterness makes this post funnier. I love gallows humor.
Anyway, just a few words on timing a rejection. Tomorrow a list of things to NOT do when you are dumped.
The question posed in the last post, Maxwell Smart versus Austin Powers, is actually quite the conundrum. Austin Powers regularly killed more guys than Maxwell Smart and had a great nemesis in Dr. Evil. On the other hand, Smart worked for an organization with a much cooler name (CONTROL), fought a cooler sounding enemy (KAOS), and had the painfully hot 99 helping him. I think I am going to bet on Maxwell Smart, if only because Austin Powers had no trouble getting women and at the moment guys like that annoy the bejeesus out of me. I guess I’d like to see him eat a bullet right now. Not that I’m bitter.
For today, I am going to go mix genres. Who would win, Buffy the Vampire Slayer versus Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?
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