Nerd Dating: Online Dating pt 16: interpreting photos
OK, this is the last one I am doing on this nuance of online dating. Not because I have run out of items to describe but more because it is starting to get kind of repetitive and honestly, by this time you should be able to figure these out yourself.
Girl surrounded by a huge pile of stuffed animals. Take whatever age she is and subtract 15 from it. This is OK if she is 40 but kind of problematic if she is 25. Also, I guarantee that she has a very protective daddy who is probably willing and capable of putting out a hit on you. I’d give this girl a 7.5 on the pain-o-meter to date.
Big coke bottle glasses. For both guy and girl, this actually translates into pretty cool to date. In both cases it usually means someone who is cool with their nerd lifestyle and doesn’t care enough to take pains for their appearance. Often times they are super nerdy, which in my mind translates into pretty cool. Also, girls who wear coke bottle glasses in photos in my experience are rarely fat. I don’t know what the deal is, but overweight women seem really inclined to take off their glasses for photos.
Doing something improbable and potentially dangerous. Skydiving, dirt bike riding, rock climbing, hang gliding, or other “extreme” sports. This is almost always a guy. Unless his title for his profile is something like “Live to rock climb” then he is trying to show the world what kind of a macho man he is. Odds are you can take however often he claims to do these things and divide it by about 20 to get the actual frequency (“I skate 3-4 times a week” = 182 times per year/20 = 9 times last year). Guys who actually do “extreme” sports on a regular basis rarely have to go online to meet women, as there are any number of hot low self esteem women willing to be treated like a doormat to be encountered all the time in their daily lives. If by some fluke you do meet a semi-pro skateboarder and feel dumb enough to date him you can look forward to having his shoes wiped on your back.
Lots of tattoos and/or piercings. If a guy this man has a serious F-you attitude towards life and people in general. Either he is serious and will likely end up (back) in prison or he is a poser and feels a lot of personal frustration that no one understands what kind of a rock star he secretly is. The best you can hope for is that this guy owns his own lame clothing company (something I know too much about) but odds are he works in an auto shop or something even more blue collar. If this is a girl than she has serious daddy issues and this is likely her revenge on her parents. The funny thing is they never seem to get enough and will keep getting revenge long after her parents pass. If she is pretty hot than there is a good chance she has been a stripper or should have been. If, however, you can get past all that they tend to be a lot of fun to hang out with and are fairly uninhibited, so given the opportunity I would date her. Just be ready for the inevitable drama. Also, in both cases you can glean some insight into their personality and intellectual ability by judging the subject matter, originality, cleverness, and spelling of the tattoos shown. As a general rule, if you see a misspelled word run away screaming.
Lots of guns. Again, mostly guys. This person is probably trying to make up for something, if you know what I mean, so if you have issues with larger junk than this would be the guy for you. Also, these guys tend to be weird conspiracy nuts, so you can look forward to hearing how the Rand Corporation really runs the country and how the second Kennedy gunman was actually an alien who traveled back in time to prevent him from nationalizing the phone companies. These guys tend to get turned on by shooting more or less harmless and inoffensive animals, so if you have any love of animals odds are you should steer clear. A real man would fight a bear with a knife, in my opinion (or just try to stay away from one).
That’s pretty much it for today, and more or less for this matter. Next time I do more dating I will talk about what to send on your first email to a girl online. However, today is Tuesday which means cheap movie night at my local theater. I’m afraid (literally) that I am going to have to see a late showing of the new Nicholas Cage film Drive Angry. It looks truly awful and I look forward to writing a burning review of it tomorrow, although I anticipate a long evening of pain for myself.
As for yesterdays question, the nerds from Revenge of the Nerds versus the nerds from Scooby Doo, I think this question is very situational. If the Revenge guys were trying to haunt an old amusement park so they could smuggle diamonds out of the state then I would have to bet on Scooby Doo. In almost every other situation I would have to bet on the Revenge guys, if only because they seem less unwilling to mix it up. (Adams Atoms shirt from Revenge of the Nerds shirt courtesy of the nerd t shirts category)
For today I ask the question of who would win, Jayne Cobb (with Vera) from Firefly against Snake Plisskin from Escape from New York?
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.