Nerd Dating: Online Dating pt 19: Setting up the first meeting
OK, assuming you haven’t frightened her off (or been frightened off by her. Believe me, creepy is a two way street) and you have exchanged between 3-12 emails (12 is a lot. I would normally try to go after the 4th or 5th) it is time to set up your first meeting. How to do it and where to go?
Honestly, email sucks as a way to get to know each other so after you have more or less exhausted the standard “where did you grow up” and “what did you study from college” questions it’s time to get face to face. I find it best to just blurt out the question, usually at the end of answering her questions from the last email. Something like this usually works pretty good:
“…and then animal control showed up and collected all the bodies. You can see why that was the happiest day of my life.
Say, how would you like to meet up and get some coffee? I know a place not far from the area you (claim to) live in that serves the best (insert coffee drink of your choice). Are you free on (weekday) at (sometime while the sun is still up)? You can always call me at 555-1234.
If you haven’t given her your number yet, you should. Most women will probably want to talk to you at least once to make sure you don’t use a voice disguiser or something. When she calls keep the conversation to a minimum, focused specifically on when and where you are going to meet. Don’t get sucked into a long conversation on the phone, as odds are your conversation skills will lag and give her a reason to never talk to you again.
For the place, pick a coffee house or cafe that is in a public place and serves coffee and other drinks without the obligation to buy a meal. Think Starbucks. Don’t go to a restaurant as that implies and more or less obligates the two of you to eating a meal. Also if you sit down at a formal restaurant and just order a drink you will look cheap. If the first meeting goes well you might suggest a meal of food at a nearby restaurant.
Try to show up earlier and be waiting for her. This gives her the chance to scope you out and bail out without talking to her, but honestly you are better off getting that then suffering through an hour of stilted conversation before getting the boot. Wear something distinctive and tell her ahead of time what it is (“I’ll be wearing the Mickey Mouse ears”).
By the way, remember what I said about pictures online always being better than reality, so be prepared to be at least slightly disappointed. Also work on not showing your disappointment on your face. All the old rules I listed regarding clothing, grooming, and behavior are doubly important, so if you are a recent reader of my blog go back a few months and review the rules regarding bathing (every day), clothes (wear them), and other odds and ends (deodorant is not your enemy).
I’m coming up on the end of the this line on online dating advice. I think I have one more in me. Not sure where I am going after that, but I will find something interesting. If you have any suggestions or dating questions hit me up: [email protected].
Yesterday’s question, Onyxia from WOW versus Godzilla, seems like a close match. They both breath fire, have a tail attack, bite, and claw. They also have more or less fireproof scales. I am going to go with Godzilla just because I have seen Onyxia killed dozens of times and Godzilla never. In fact I believe Godzilla would stomp a 40 or 25 man raid flat in about 30 seconds (Raiding shirt courtesy of the WOW t shirts category).
For today I’m going to go to a classic: who would win, Superman versus the Hulk?
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