One of the many reasons why Batman is the greatest super hero of all time
The cool thing about saying something like that is, unlike most declarative statements in the nerd world, there are very few who can argue against you and those who do usually end up sounding like complete morons. Say something like “Kirk was the better captain” or “George Lucas is a sellout whore” and, in a group of three nerds, at least one will take issue with your statement. However, I have yet to have a true comic fan argue vehemently that Batman is not the greatest (or at least the one of the greatest) superheroes of all time (and if I did, honestly I think all I would hear is clicks and whistles).
So what is it that makes him so cool? Is it the costume? Yes. Is it the car? Yes. Is it the fact that he goes toe to toe with thugs who could kill him at any minute without the use of esoteric outer space minerals (cough cough Kryptonite cough cough)? Yes. All these and may other reasons make up that tapestry of coolness that is the Dark Knight. However, there is one reason that stands out in my mind more than others and that is because Bruce Wayne’s life absolutely sucks so much.
“Wait a minute!” I can here your feeble, movie fan based brain saying. “Bruce Wayne is a billionaire. He has houses, boats, cars, and is head of a major corporation. He dates super models and, when not wearing the cowl, is the life of the party.” This may appear to be true, but something you can only get if you read the comics (or perhaps watch some of the cartoons, such as Mask of the Phantasm) is that it is all a sham. Sure, it is part of his facade in the movies as well but when you watch them Christian Bale can’t seem to transmit the idea that secretly Bruce Wayne hates the fake lifestyle and considers it a massive waste of time. In the movie it seems like he is partying it up and in his free time is fighting crime (kind of like the Green Hornet).
Bruce Wayne has a miserable life. He is constantly tortured by the death of his parents. He also blames himself whenever one of his rogues gallery kills someone before he could capture him, especially the Joker (Joker image courtesy of the Batman t shirt category). Bruce sleeps like two hour a night and goes out night after night, in spite of the many injuries he suffers on a regular basis. He has no chance of any kind of real personal relationship with a woman, and never gets a break or a chance to rest.
Why does that qualify him a cool? Humans love tragedy. All the best stories involve tragic protagonists (Darth Vader from the original Star Wars trilogy, Sam Lowry from Brazil, Peter Parker from Spiderman, Mad Max, Dr. Morbius from Forbidden Planet, Harvey Dent (Two Face), Edward Norton’s nameless character in Fight Club, Testsuo Shima from Akira, the list goes on). Sure, a decent story could be told about a happy character, but those stories, while entertaining, are quickly forgotten. The stories that stick with you for years after you have seen them involve pain and suffering, not upbeat characters and happy endings.
By the way, anyone who tries to tell me that Superman started in tragedy because his planet blew up before he developed the mental capacity to remember it should go back to reading Richie Rich cartoons. The man grew up in Norman Rockwell picture perfect small town America with the Kents. Give me a break. Also, anyone who tries to cite Anakin Skywalker as a tragic character can go into the laundry room and drink whatever liquids may be located in the cabinets there.
I think that’s why the Joel Schumacher (burn in hell, jackass) Batman movies felt like such a betrayal of the franchise to me. It wasn’t just the Batnipples, the painfully crowbaring of so many villains into one film, the 46 continuity and editing mistakes in Batman and Robin, the bad writhing, the bad acting, the “diamond powered” freeze suit, or the obvious ploy to make a two hour long toy commercial. It was the fact that they portrayed a Bruce Wayne that was kind of light hearted and enjoyed his work as Batman. There is no part of his life that he enjoys. The only scene that had even a trace of tragedy was when Mr. Freeze was locked up and carved an ice statue of his frozen wife to keep him company. That was the most tragic scene in either of the movies and, consequently, it is the one that stick out in my mind the most (the entire rest of both films blurs together like a sewage smoothie in a blender). No wonder it is considered the worst blockbuster of all time.
Anyway, that’s pretty much it for my love of tragic characters and the bromance I feel with Bruce Wayne. If you disagree feel free to respond and I will happily ridicule your shortcomings physical, mental, and emotional.
I am going to see Pirates of the Caribbean at 4:20pm today (bong time, for you stoners out there) and write a review for it tomorrow. I expect it to be a product of the fail school of filmmaking, so I should be able to write some funny stuff. They based the story on one of my all time favorite books, On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers, so unless it is truly brilliant I will probably come to the blogging process full of betrayed bile. Talk to you soon.
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