Nerd Movie Reviews

The Harry Potter Marathon continues: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

OK, the biggest thing I have learned so far from seeing two of these movies is that they are freaking long.  I am going to have to revise my estimate of how long it is going to take me to get through all these.  Secondly, they aren’t as annoying as I first thought they would be.  Some issues, of course, but no more than 90% of the other movies I have reviewed.  They are indeed enough to keep me engaged.

By the way, I recently made friends with some people who do Goth costumes, and since Goths are a kind of nerd I have to appreciate what they do.  It occurred to me as I wrote this that you could use their Goth costumes to make a pretty spifffy Voldemort outfit with relative ease.  They also seem to have a good selection of Steampunk, which as you should know appeals to me a lot (Steampunk Goth image courtesy of the funny t shirt category).

So it is year 2 and Harry is still dealing with his abusive uncle, who seems immune to all kinds of child abuse laws.  Seems last time I checked locking a kid in a room and preventing them from attending school was pretty illegal, but maybe they have different laws in England (I kind of doubt it).   He needs his friends to bust him out so he can go back to school.  If I were one of Harry’s friends I would have to advise him to not return after the school year and possible hang out at a Motel 6 somewhere, but I predict the next movie will start off with Harry trying to escape his families clutches again.  Anyway, again I am not going to get into the whole story, but just run over my impressions, ideas, and questions.

First off, I found out I completely spelled quidditch wrong the other day.  Thank you for the zero loyal readers who corrected me on it.  My issues with the game rules remain, although I found out that in the books there are games that can last years.  However, remember that I refuse to base any of this on the books I have not read.  The movie should stand alone.

Second, I will say they are really miking the PG cow by having all the the basilisks victims become paralyzed in spite of the extremely deadly nature of it’s gaze, at least according to the movie.  How many devices can they come up with to make his gaze slightly less dangerous?  I will say I liked the whole Thomas Riddle/Voldemort plot thread.  Nice twist IMO.  However, there is definitely a pattern so far of suspecting someone of being the bad guy only to find by the end of the movie it was someone entirely different.  Very Scooby Doo-like, except that the Scooby Doo gang more or less catches the bad guy eventually and so far Harry Potter and his crew generally has the villain reveal himself in a classic villain monologue.  If Thomas Riddle hadn’t bothered to reveal himself to Harry he could have had the girl take the blame entirely and kept manipulating things for years.  However, it seems that villains feel an ego based need to have their cleverness acknowledged by the heroes they plan to kill in a couple minutes, and Voldemort is apparently no exception.

I know I mentioned this before, but why is it Harry is the only person willing to say Voldemort’s name?  In his own way he is even less powerful in this movie than the last, and saying his name does not seem to be making him manifest.  Just an aside.

If Harry can talk to snakes, why does he have an owl as a familiar?  He should be like the snake king.  He kind of looks like this kid I went to grade school with named Brian, who was the local weird reptile kid.  He had all kinds of snates and lizards.  Also, talking to snakes seems like a pretty obscure talent, and even the others who know about it admit it’s extremely rare.  Why, then, does it have specific name and everyone except Harry know everything about it?  Also, snakes aren’t really known for large brain capacity.  Seems like they wouldn’t have much to say except for “Hisssss” and “I want to eat you”.  I put that talent on the same level as the fact that I am double joined in my left thumb.  Interesting, but usually pretty worthless.  However, I suspect the author will find a way to crowbar in something useful for Harry to do with it in every film.

Anyway, that’s pretty much it.   Most of my major questions were asked in the last one.  I am going to get going as I have a yoga class to attend.  By the way, last night at my friends movie night we saw Let Me In.  Really great vampire movie.  Talk to you tomorrow.

 

Tags: funny t shirts, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets