By / 11th September, 2012 / T-Shirts, WOW T Shirts / No Comments

World of Warcraft Mists of Pandaria First Impressions

Or, World of Warcraft, Mists of Kung Fu Panda

It is fair to say I have a troubled and problematic history with World of Warcraft in the same way a heroin addict has a troubled and problematic past with smack.  There was a five year period of my life when I had no friends and did nothing but play.  I skipped work, bailed on on parties, and was religious about raid times.  I am more than reasonably sure my WOW playing ended at least two relationships with actual human females (one of whom in retrospect I really miss), and I’m pretty sure my few friends and family were seriously considering an intervention.

Fortunately, I ran into some guild drama (one guy in particular was making my life hell) about the same time as my interest in finding a hot new pair of magic pants dried up.  When I started my commercial website I discovered I could channel my need to play games and grind into working on my site.  I also discovered I liked writing and got into doing this blog, and in retrospect while I don’t regret the time I spent playing (incidentally, if I were to reactivate my account and do a /played on my main it would come back with something like 1.5 years.  I had a bunch of alts too) as I enjoyed the hell out of it, through the fog of time and recollection I realize how unimportant that time really was.

However, I believe this gives me a perspective to do a review of WOW that many other people might be missing.  I am not a WOW hater and have no problem with grinding stuff (I did have the Insane in the Membrane achievement at level 70, if any of you know what that means).  When I consider that I spent dozens of hours a week for the monthly cost of what a movie might cost me I think it’s the best entertainment value I have ever spent.  Thus I feel like I can share with you my ill informed opinion based solely on the trailers and what other people are ranting about (Hellscream image courtesy of the WOW T Shirt category).

Blizzard has never been overburdened with creative juices and never has it been more apparent than in this expansion.  Every video I have seen of the Pandarians looks exactly like an extra clip from Kung Fu Panda, with slightly more humor.  I am definitely one of those crusty old bastards who will tell you that vanilla WOW was the best and everything after Burning Crusade has sucked like a breach in your EVA suit, but this looks like a low point in character design.  Did Blizzard feel like WOW players were not getting enough ridicule from other gamers and needed a race even more comedic than gnomes or goblins?  When I played my orc hunter I used to imagine I was a bad ass green terror machine with a bow that could split your skill from 40 yards.  The whole point of playing an avatar is to pretend you are something you are not.  Having WOW players play fat furry couch potatoes who love to eat (two of the racials are food related and one is about being so fat you bounce on impact when falling) might just be too close to reality to allow for that necessary escape.  Also, will Pandarians committed to the Alliance be able to talk to Horde Pandarians?  If not how do you explain that?

The second thing that “inspired” Blizzard (cough cough ripped off cough cough) looks like Pokemon.  Now you can not only collect pets but have them battle each other for experience and levels.  If you come across a pet that can be captured and defeat it with your pet you get to keep it.  Does the game provide you with red and white balls or is there a vendor who sells them?  How is this NOT Pokemon?  “Corehound Pup, I choose YOUUUUU!”

As for game play, it’s been months since I played and I’m not really familiar enough to judge what the changes mean to the actually playing.  I played a hunter and it looks like they got rid of melee weapons for them, as well as minimum range.  If they have gotten rid of melee for hunters and are only allowing you to use your ranged attacks that looks like a serious simplification of game play.  Ever since Wrath came out it is apparent that Blizzard wants everyone to be able to play, even brain dead invalids.  The controls and game play have gotten seriously easier and easier, and if they make things any simpler than last time I played primordial ooze will be able to get to level 90 and grind out a decent set of epic gear.  The simplification of the game is one of the things that made leaving it easier for me.

Honestly, in my mind WOW died when WOTLK came out.  Everyone QQ’d about not seeing the end of Sunwell (I saw it, and we killed Kil’jaeden before they nerfed all the bosses) in BC and so they made everything in baby mode.  It just took a lot of the challenge out for me and a lot of my friends.  Will MOP change that and make the game worth playing again?  Based on what I see probably not.  Most likely it will end up being another casual grind fest with no real draw for the hard core players other than they have been playing for years and can’t give it up.  Fortunately I will most likely not have to get into it, so I will probably wait until I see the review on Zero Punctuation.

Dave

 


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