Nerd Dating: What to talk about on your first date pt 1
I am going to start a whole new section here. We have talked about what to avoid but now you are in the zone of actually coming up with something to talk about. This is a bit of a tough subject and I think it will end up going a few posts.
The best thing to talk about is her. Let her tell you about her life, her pets, her parents, what she studied in college, and which bead stores have the best selection of ceramics (I could only dream of a girl who was into beading, or for that matter anything at all. Most of the girls I meet seem to have no interests whatsoever). The problem is you can’t just space out while she blabs on. You actually have to pay attention. She is setting traps to catch you in on the next date when she says something like “Remember what I told you about my cat who got caught in the combine?” The correct response to an obvious trap like this is “You mean the one you called Tripod?” not “You had a cat?” Remembering and referencing details she has told you will help you score points on the later dates, and can also save you some pain if she is the type to tell you the same stories over and over again.
So encourage her to drone on. The big mistake here (and one that I still fall into all the time) is having her tell you something painfully boring but reminds you of something funny from your life that you feel compelled to tell her about. Next thing you know dinner is over and you have done nothing but tell her stories of your childhood or t-shirt selling website.
The next thing you need to do is look and act like you care about whatever she is talking about. Pay attention, look her in the eyes, ask insightful, provocative questions, and encourage her to give you details. This takes practice, but once you learn it you can kill an hour easy. (I don’t care t shirt courtesy of the novelty t shirt category)
Of course, it helps immensely if you are actually interested, not only for the date flow but also for the possibility of an actual relationship. My cousin reads this blog and she will beat me if I indicate there have been dates wherein I wasn’t really interested in the girl’s life story but feigned interest. I guess I am due for a beating.
Anyway, this is a good way to start off the date. Unfortunately it will not suffice. We’ll go into some other things to talk about on the next post.
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