Riddick Movie Review
Riddickulously awesome.
I admit it. Somehow without ever being a Vin Diesel fan I am a Riddick fan. I own the DVD’s of all three movies (ohh, you say? You didn’t know there was an animated film with his voice connecting Pitch Black to the Chronicles of Riddick? No fan you) and played Escape from Butcher Bay front to back several times. There is something about his character that absolutely rocks. I enjoy every aspect of his character, and will probably see every film ever made with him in it.
So this movie. Saw it last night and enjoyed every second of it. Sure, if you are looking for the things that make a movie great like story, originality, great acting, character development, or good dialog you might be marginally disappointed. To the critics that I have read who are harping on about those things I say do you go to a Mexican restaurant and complain to the cook about the quality of his sushi? Riddick isn’t about making Citizen Kane in space. Riddick is about watching a bad ass bald guy who can see in the dark kill as many aliens and humans as you can fit into a shot, and as such the latest film delivers in spades.
That being said, if you are not a Riddick fan this film will seem like a massive self indulgent overly macho campy Pitch Black remake (and yet, I still defy you to find something wrong with it). Derivative it certainly is, but honestly if Pitch Black was the movie that made you a Riddick fan why would you not want to see the Aquaman version of it? Again, if you are a fan than the actual story is merely a vehicle to deliver alien ass kicking.
I will say to the writers credit they really did manage to tie the other films into this one. It’s obvious they knew this movie was for the fan boys and they threw lots of tasty crumbs to us, with references to both films that made sense in a way that George Lucas should be green with envy. Just referencing something in a past movie sucks, but to make it into a critical and worthwhile plot point is excellent work. However, if you haven’t seen Pitch Black or the Chronicles you might very well be lost for quite a bit.
I’m also going to spout off on the special effects/CGI. Honestly really good, especially the dog Riddick domesticates. I’d like to say that good special effects are the standard in science fiction these days. I’d like to say that, but I can’t. Even now when any kid with a decent Macbook and about an hour’s worth of YouTube instructional video can create a CGI monster running down the hall of his Jr. High we still get CGI and special effects that look like it was done using film scratch techniques (Google it). These days creatures in Sci Fi films should not look like they were added in using Colorforms on the playback monitor. The point is the CGI for this film was really good, and the creatures all looked awesome.
The story starts off with Riddick (Vin Diesel-Saving Private Ryan, the Fast and the Furious, xXx) left for dead on a barren world. He is badly injured and is constantly being attacked by local wildlife including some very large dog-like creatures. We find out from a series of flashbacks that he was betrayed by the Necromongers (those silly kids!) including head guy Vaako 
(Karl Urban-Dredd, Star Trek, the Bourne Supremacy. Dredd image courtesy of the comic book t shirts) and dropped off a cliff. The first part of the film is his struggle to survive, splint his leg, and find a safe place to heal. He does so and sees a land ahead with more resources. Unfortunately the way is blocked by a creature that looks like a cross between a chicken, a scorpion, and a barracuda (but awesome) that lives in a pool of water he has to cross. He manages to build weapons and get by it (while building a tolerance to the creature’s poison), rescuing the puppy he domesticated on the way.
He finds his way to a mercenary station but on the way observes a rain storm in the distance. Turns out the creatures he got by (chirpionuda?) hibernates most of the time and only comes out when the ground is wet (cough cough Pitch Black with rain cough cough). At that point he opts to get out of town and calls for help. Naturally two teams of bounty hunters show up looking for him.
The first team is a typical bunch of low life losers all looking for the bounty on Riddick, including shot caller Santana (Jordi Molla-Bad Boys II, Columbiana, Blow) and big bad boy Diaz (Dave Bautista-the House of the Rising Sun, the Man with the Iron Fists, WWE Smackdown. By the way, I really liked him in this film. Since when did WWE become the source for all the best new action stars like him and Dwayne Johnson?) plus a few other minorities. The other team is lead by a mysterious guy (Matt Nable-Killer Elite, 33 Postcards, the Final Winter) and seconded by non other than Starbuck from BSG, although in this film she is called Dahl (Katee Sackhoff-Battlestar Galactica, White Noise: the Light, Campus Killer) plus a couple other guys. Riddick tells them to give him one of the ships and leave or die there.
At that point you can pretty much guess the rest. Riddick kills a few of the bounty hunters until they catch him with super tranq bullets. It starts to rain and chirpionuda hell breaks loose. Since Riddick has stolen critical components of each ship they now have to help him run through the wet darkness to get off the planet. Crosses are doubled, and the mysterious guy leading the second team has an agenda with Riddick that references Pitch Black in a very cool way.
The stars:
Duh. Riddick movie in every sense of the term. Two stars. Great sci fi action. One star. All the characters were cool and none of them annoyed me. One black hole. Excellent CGI and creature design. Two stars. The bounty hunters had these jet bikes that are second in coolness only to a super hot girl who wants to have sex with me (in other words, I can now dream about two things I really want that don’t really exist). One star. Speaking of which, the film had a couple of totally gratuitous nude scenes, including a side boob shot of Katee Sackhoff that has earned a permanent place in my personal spank bank. It might have been good body double and/or more great CGI, but I really don’t care. Thank you, Riddick, for understanding what rated R is supposed to be about. One star. While I can’t really give them credit for a particularly good story, I do have to give them props for nicely tying in the other two movies. One star. Total: nine stars.
The black holes:
I suppose if I must. The film really doesn’t deviate much from Pitch Black, and I would be a total hypocrite if I didn’t ding them for being so derivative. One black hole. Deus ex Machina doesn’t accurately describe the ending. One black hole. Total: two stars.
A grand total of seven stars. Should you see it? If you are a fellow Riddick fan, have at least seen both of the prior films, and/or are a fan of sci fi action then yes. Absolutely. If you are not and think Vin Diesel as the toughest most macho guy in the universe is a ridiculous idea than go see the new Woody Allen film. I’m sure your life is not boring in any way. Date movie? You’re probably going to want to give your prospective future girlfriend/wife a pass on this one. Unless she is herself a fan there is too much awesomeness for most girls to handle, and in truth she will think lesser of you for enjoying it. This is the perfect movie to sneak out of work early one day with a couple of your buddies and see without her. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt you. Bathroom break? There isn’t a lot you want to miss here but the scene where they have Riddick chained up and are interrogating him are a little more disposable, especially if you never saw Pitch Black. Try to hold it IMO.
Thanks for reading. Like I said, this film was fun and I enjoyed writing it up. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu and like us on Facebook. If you have comments on this movie or my review feel free to post them here, and if you have off topic questions or suggestions feel free to email me at [email protected]. Talk to you soon.
Dave
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