American Hustle Review
Reports of Amy Adams being nude are grossly exaggerated.
She is definitely wearing revealing outfits and shows enough cleavage to lose a Mini Cooper in (I hereby name her Queen of the Side Boob), but the overriding reason convincing me to see this film over any of the other ones was completely incorrect. All my bad feelings with regard to the 70’s had nothing to mitigate them.
Well, aside from a well crafted and acted film. The cast is extremely talented, the filming definitely had that greasy “I wish I could take a shower” 70’s feeling to it, and the story was refreshingly complex in a way that forced me to engage with the screen but not just complex for complexities sake (cough cough the Counselor cough cough). The story comes from the Abscam sting that the FBI did back then and the complexity stems from that bizarre case. In general a well executed film with some really good acting.
Is it Oscar material, however? In a different year absolutely not, but since Hollywood seems to have been kicked in the head at the beginning of 2013 and has produced the biggest crop of dross in decades probably. The movie is not without its issues and for the sin of making me look at 138 minutes of hair and clothes that I hate (with the exception of Queen Side Boob) I will detail them.
First off, were the story were not based (somewhat) on real events I would say it was long, unfocused, and wanders back and forth like a drunk meandering down a street of bars looking for a drink after last call before passing out behind some garbage cans (in a lesser film I would have said dying in a pool of his own vomit. See, I’m being fair). A certain amount of leeway is given due to the real nature of the source material, but there were a number of points where I found myself wishing for a fast forward button. SPOILER ALERT Also the big hustle that the movie seemed gearing up for from the beginning turned out to be something the main character cooked up in the last 20 minutes to save his own ass. The film seemed to be leading to some huge Usual Suspects-esque scam and really it all turned out to be the guy taking advantage of a minor mistake made by the FBI.
Second, in an effort to be more like Goodfellas the film has a voice over monolog (something that actually generally annoys me. In film show me don’t tell me. I’m not listening to a book on tape). However in this case it is two different monologs done by Christian Bale and Amy Adams, switching back and forth without warning. The net effect is similar to listening to a couple on the Jerry Springer show start talking in their rational voice about how they each want to sleep with the others mother before the inevitable meltdown and all hell breaks loose. Just when you have forgotten it and are into the story the two of them break in again to jerk you out of your seat.
Thirdly, the original scam that Christian Bale’s character was running seemed so lame and ass backwards that it made the first 1/3rd of the movie seem super fake. Who pays some random guy $5,000 for a loan with no guarantees of any kind (adjusted for inflation that $5 grand is worth today $17,873.39)? I know hustlers are supposed to go after stupid people but there is stupid and then there is dumber than a sack of hammers stupid, and once someone on the screen shows themselves to have their heads so far up their own ass they can smell their breakfast you stop connecting with people. No one wants to see baby seals getting clubbed. This was the only real plot hole in the film and it wasn’t huge, but at the time it sat weird with me like swallowing a golf ball.
Finally, while I appreciate the physical dedication Christian Bale puts into his roles (if you want to see what I’m talking about watch the Machinist) I didn’t need to see shot after shot of his gross pot belly and chest hair. Once the fact that he was out of shape was established let him put a shirt on. (Anorexia image courtesy of the cheap t shirt section and for extra irony is available in up to 7XL)
All that being said this movie is pretty good. It has all the elements that I wish Hollywood would use as a template for future films. Just not the right flavor for me, like a delicious salad made with tons of tomatoes (I don’t like tomatoes), or the super hot girl everyone is horny for but I am not because I used the bathroom after her and she bombed it.
Dammit, I just had my WordPress bomb out and lost about 700 words. I’m going to rush the story recap if you don’t mind. It is the story of hustler Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) and his mistress Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) and the scams they got into with the FBI. They start off ripping off morons with the dumbest scam ever (seriously Pull My Finger has more credibility) but get caught by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper). They agree to help him round up other white collar crimes, starting with New Jersey Mayor Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner), who is trying to line up funding for the rebuild of Atlantic City. They create a fake Arab Sheik and manage to suck in a bunch of Congressmen and a Senator. They almost get in with the real mafia represented by Robert Di Niro but duck that bullet. Scams are scammed, and in the end you feel like justice was never really done.
The stars.
The cast was amazing and the acting brilliant. Really worth seeing for that if nothing else. Three stars. The story was nicely complicated and managed to engage my brain. Two stars. I managed to care about all the characters on one level or another. This is the sign of a good director. Two stars. While Amy Adams never got naked she sure showed a lot of skin and between her and hottie J-Law (haw!) there was enough eye candy on the screen to almost make up for all the man gut we had to look at. One star. Filming style and sound track (i.e. none for a while and then a great classic rock song) really captured the 70’s feel and was in it’s own way brilliant (I wonder how Christian Bale got along with the DP?). One star. A good movie and worthy of my time. Two stars. Total: eleven stars.
The black holes.
The pacing seemed ploddish and I was feeling every one of those 138 minutes. It honestly could have ended at any time past the 100 minute mark and I would not have been surprised or disappointed. One black hole. If rampant overuse of monologues were one of the signs if the Apocalypse I would advise you to make your peace with God. One black hole. Man gut a gogo. One black hole. That one stupid plot hole kind of spoiled the first 30 minutes. It was just on the bad side of annoying. Not paint drinkingly bad, but maybe vinegar? One black hole. Total: four black holes.
So a grand total of seven stars. Good movie, worth seeing. Just not my cup of tea. For the record normally I would ding a movie like this for making me look at the clothing and hair equivalent of a sucking chest wound but since this film is at least on the short list for some kind of 2013 award I thought I should keep my personal bias out of it. If someone does a more suckstastic 70’s movie I will come down twice as hard. The 70’s sucked. Anyway, see it if you are so inclined. Date movie? Maybe. I don’t know. There was romance but nothing in this film will warm her heart. In fact you end up feeling kind of bad about how it ends. I’d say see it with your snotty Oscar Night watching friends. Bathroom break? The scene of Richie at home is pretty disposable IMO. His mom and fiance appear out of the ether for five minutes and then vanish into the night like a mysterious Spanish gentleman leaving love notes and a rose on your pillow.
Thanks for reading. More to see soon (Grudge Match, you’re on deck). I hope your New Year finds you happy and hale. I sincerely wish all my readers the best in 2014, if only because you are individuals of rare and discriminating taste and therefore need to prosper. If you want to join an even more rarefied strata of society follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. Comments on this film or my review can be left here, while off topics and questions can be emailed to [email protected]. Talk to you soon, and have a great Holiday.
Dave
P.S. Normally I just crank out my best of the year right away but this year I am going to pretend to be a real reviewer and see as many of the films that actually came out in 2013 (rather than just the ones I happened to see) so need a few days to catch up. Look for it in a week or so.
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