Million Dollar Arm Review
Cute and fun.
I actually saw this film a while ago but have not been able to get to writing it up. My life has gotten even busier if that’s possible. I quite enjoyed it. Say what you will about Disney but in the execution of positive, uplifting movies they have no equal. When you see a Disney film you will have your heart warmed whether you want to or not.
Regular readers should recall that the list of things I would rather do than watch baseball is massive and includes things like sort my sock drawer and watch paint dry (I have found you can pretend you are watching a continent slowly being flooded out due to global warming if you look at it properly) yet I love baseball movies. I’m sure there is some kind of psychological reason that will inevitably boil down to a screaming need for approval from my father but the fact is I hate sports but love sports movies. However that kind of deep psychological investigation into my head is a dark and dangerous path so I will simply leave it by saying I have no idea why.
This film has a lot of the things I love in sports films and adds some wonderful cross cultural acceptance elements. My favorite parts were set in India as the main character tromped around the countryside looking for a cricket player who could pitch fast. The cheerful yet mercenary good will of the locals was very entertaining and seeing the protagonist learn to appreciate and love the countryside was refreshing.
This is the point in most reviews where I start to nit pick, typically saying something like “For all that I was disappointed in the decision to…” or the like. However I honestly can’t think of a harsh criticism. Sure the plot was painfully predictable but if you think any Disney film isn’t going to adhere to the happy ending formula you must be surprised every morning when the sun comes up. Pattern recognition is not your forte my friend. If you go to the movie like I did-expecting nothing more than to feel good by the denouement without having your higher brain functions terribly challenged-then you will enjoy the heck out of it.
Of course the story is even more rewarding knowing that it is based on real people and a real story. Happy endings for real people reaffirms our faith in humanity and the universe. Most real story movies tend to be about people doing horrible things like Pain and Gain. Not this one. This film is like watching the nicest people in the world win the lottery and use it to open a super cute kitten ranch.
The story starts off with sports agent JB (Jon Hamm-Sucker Punch, Mad Men, The Town) and his partner Aash (Aasif Mandvi-the Internship, Premium Rush, the Dictator) getting screwed out of the deal of a lifetime by a football player. They are on the balls of their ass financially and in serious danger of losing everything. JB is watching cricket late at night and has the idea of going to India to recruit baseball pitchers.
They talk local billionaire Chang (Tzi Ma-Chink, Made in Chinatown, the Campaign. Thurston Howell III image courtesy of the TV Show t shirt category) into financing the Million Dollar Arm contest with the goal of finding two pitchers and getting them actual tryouts for MLB. They are joined by baseball scout Ray (Alan Arkin-Argo, the Incredible Burt Wonderstone, the Change-Up) and local translator and Indian baseball enthusiast Amit (Pitobash-Go Goa Gone (I saw this but never got around to writing the review. Indian zombies), Joker, 3 Idiots). They go dry for a while but eventually meet up with Rinku (Suraj Sharma-the Life of Pi, not much else) and Dinesh (Madhur Mittal-Slumdog Millionaire, Treasure Island, Kidnap and Ransom), two athletes who prove to have a fast pitch.
The two boys win some cash, allowing Dinesh to buy a new truck for his strict but loving father in yet another heartwarming scene. They are going to America to compete for the grand prize and since neither have left their villages are naturally apprehensive. Amit is hired to translate and support them.
They get to LA and manage to get kicked out of their hotel the first night for panicking in the elevator. With no where else to put them JB takes them to his expansive home which he shares with his tenant Brenda (Lake Bell-It’s Complicated, No Strings Attached, In a World…) who lives in the back house. The next day the boys meet pitching coach Tom House (the great Bill Paxton-Aliens, 2 Guns, Haywire) and start training.
At that point the whole movie switched from JB doing fish out of water in India to the Indian kids doing the same here. They have difficulties with all aspects of the game. JB starts up a relationship with Brenda and over time bonds with the Indians. If you have ever seen a movie done by Disney odds are you can accurately guess how it ends.
The stars:
Decent story with a lot of believability. One star. Good acting from everyone in the cast. One star. An acting bonus for the three Indian kids. Getting an American audience to connect with foreigners can be hard but they really managed it well. By the end of the film you are totally pulling for these kids. One star. The scenes in India were totally fun, and a decent look at another culture. One star. Overall a fun, entertaining movie that will warm the cockles of the coldest heart. Two stars. Total: six stars.
The black holes:
Not much really. The story was painfully predictable and I more or less had every scene mapped out in my head early on. One black hole. Other than that an innocuously good movie.
A grand total of five stars. At the low end of good for me. Like I said, it was pretty much everything one could expect from the very competent happy movie makers at Disney. Honestly that is something of an issue for me with them. I’d like to see Disney challenge itself and do a movie with a bummer ending. All’s Quiet on the Western Front or 1984. The movies they they make are good like a Twinkie but at the end you realize you are eating empty calories. I’d like them to put out something with meat on it. Oh, well. I’d also like to enjoy some form of success in my dating life but at my current rate I figure the Disney thing is more likely. Should you see this film? Sure, if it’s a rainy evening and all you want to do is curl up on the couch with your sweetie and be mindlessly entertained for 124 minutes (or in my case sit at my paint table and work on my new Skaven Doomwheel. How can my life be so awesome and yet still suck so much at the same time?). There is nothing here that demands a large screen. Date movie? Sure. The cultural stuff should keep her entertained, especially if she has ever been to or dreams of going to India. Bathroom break? No scene in this film demands your attention in order to understand what is going on so pretty much anywhere you like. Maybe the scene where Brenda and JB first hook up. A PG rating means you can’t even have a hint that humans have anything under their clothes other than more clothes.
Thanks for reading. Edge of Tomorrow tonight and I’m so excited I might just wet myself. I truly hope it lives up to my expectations or else you will read the bitterest review ever tomorrow. I’m also composing a list of 15 Flawless Sci Fi films so keep an eye out for that. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Post comments here if you like and if you have an off topic question or suggestion feel free to email me at [email protected]. Talk to you soon.
the Infamous Dave Inman
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