The 10 Best Films of 2013
A tribute to another year dedicated to the self aggrandizement of my own opinion.
So another 365 days filled with mostly mediocre cinema pap and the occasional true gem or turd. Last year I reviewed 93 films, which is weird as it didn’t seem like that many. However as I was going over my list I was struck by how many of them quickly faded into the the background noise of my mind. Only the real good or sucktastic films stand out; the middle hump of the curve blends together into a bland porridge of competent yet boring or incompetent yet interesting story decisions, poor rating choices, or regurgitation of other, better films. I was surprised at how many films I had to read my own story recap to remember what it was about.
My average score was 1.77 stars, which means anything between a -3 (three black holes) or 5 stars I consider to be in the mediocre range. A few years ago I took a statistics class (don’t ask me why) and for a few minutes I thought about finding my textbooks and calculating a standard deviation but then I remembered I really didn’t get into this to do math (and also I’m pretty lazy) so I will forgo the detailed statistical analysis.
My final ranking is not a direct result of the actual scores. Those numbers are a handy guide, but often times the warm afterglow of a good film or the smoldering canker of a bad one can strongly influence my scoring and it only through the filter of months of reflection, a certain amount of therapy, and the periodic alcohol induced discognitive seizure can I fairly make these assessments. I plan to do 3 and possibly 4 posts on this: this one will be top 10, next post will be bottom 10, and the next 1 or 2 will be “special” awards (my own homemade Oscars, although I don’t have a cool trophy, award name, awards ceremony with hundreds of movie stars, millions in advertizing revenue, or set awards categories. Other than that it’s exactly the same).
Oh, and I suppose this would normally go without saying but I can only list the movies that I actually watched and wrote reviews for. Odds are extremely likely I should have seen 12 Years a Slave or Grudge Match, but in spite of any reports you may have heard about my recent deification I really cannot see every movie out there and have to make movie decisions based on my time, money, interest, and what I believe you, my beloved readers, are interested in. Please don’t waste my time with comments about how dare I not include Inside Llewyn Davis on my list.
I’m also linking all these reviews so if you are really, really bored (or bed ridden) feel free to read and enjoy!
10. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. 12 stars, 4 black holes. If you had told me a few years ago that a film designed to appeal to moronic teenage girls a la Twilight would make my top 10 for the years I probably would have gouged out both my eyes to avoid seeing it. However, when I think back to movies I saw this is one of the few films that actually got my pulse moving. It was, for lack of a better term, exciting and as such managed to edge out Kick Ass 2, Iron Man 3, and Man of Steel. Those movies were fun but they all failed to have me connect or care about the main characters like Hunger Games did. Plus I have a soft spot for sequels that manage to not have numbers in them and films where young people kill each other.
9. Pacific Rim. 12 stars, 5 black holes. This one and number 8 are going to be proof that I am not a typical reviewer. This film made my list not because it was a great story, had good acting, was a cinematographic masterpiece, or had a point but rather because it was just plain awesome. I mean, sure the dialog and acting will have you wishing for the sweet kiss of a trepanners drill bit but all you have to remember is that every few minutes you will be seeing GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING GODZILLA MONSTERS! I mean come on! How can that not rock? Also if you are the type who gets some kind of pathetic ego boost by predicting with 100% accuracy exactly how a story is going to progress this film is true low hanging fruit (plus we could probably be friends).
8. Riddick. 9 stars, 2 black holes. OK, this is my last indulgence on this list but the fact is somehow I have become a Riddick fan boy and cannot let it go by. Muscled, taciturn, gruff, bald, with cool sunglasses? What’s not to love? In a completely straight, bromance sort of way of course. I also have a deep appreciation of a sci fi film that is actually about sci fi rather than using it to sell some political, religious, or ideological agenda which as a sci fi nerd is the equivalent of being touched inappropriately in my bathing suit area. This film also featured Katee Sackhoff topless but if that is not enough to convince you of its awesomeness I have two words that will: flying motorcycles.
7. Rush. 10 Stars, 3 black holes. Time to get serious I guess. I really appreciated Ron Howard on this film. A good director tells a story, a great director inserts you into his characters lives. This film definitely did the latter. What was great was I thought going in the movie was going to be about James Hunt and his life but in truth it was more about Nikki Lauda. Both characters were engaging but by the end of it I felt myself more invested in Nikki. Serious, scientific intellectual who survives a horrific crash and gives up on something for love trumps party frat boy IMO.
6. The World’s End. 12 stars, 2 black holes. I am a Simon Pegg fan and enjoyed this film a great deal. One thing I love about his films is they often times start off as one story but by the end are a completely different one. I would say this one is not as good as Hott Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead but is better than Paul. Incidentally if you like Simon Pegg Netflicks a BBC show called Spaced. It’s pretty amazing.
5. Blue Jasmine. 9 stars, 4 black holes. This is a perfect example of how I don’t let the numbers dictate my placement. This film was brilliant and Kate Blanchett was amazing. On the other hand, this film is a complete bummer. You don’t leave the theater feeling inspired or uplifted. You leave the theater looking for a bed to lie in for a few days. I also was bugged by the fact that the story supposedly took place in San Francisco yet all the characters are completely New York or New Jersey stereotypes. This is why this film will not get my best film of the year. Also to be perfectly honest I find a lot of Woody Allen’s personal life to be extremely troubling and have a hard time enjoying the success of scumbags.
4. American Hustle. 11 stars, 4 black holes. I had to overcome my own personal dislike of the 70’s aesthetic in this film. However, I cannot deny it’s excellent execution and the acting that each of the performers brought to the screen. In truth I have been having a hard time ordering my top four. Any one of them seem great at a given time. However, in order to get the placement I asked myself “If I were stuck on a plane and had time to watch 3 of these 4 movies which is the one that I would be most willing to skip?” At that point it seemed pretty obvious to me.
3. Gravity. I have a lot of friends who were ambivalent about this movie but most of the haters seemed to have an axe to grind with either Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, or both. I was riveted to my seat and loved every second of it (especially the Sandra Bullock underwear scenes). I just suspect these two have a really good eye for scripts and know how to pick winners. I also like that they didn’t overwrite the script.
2. Her. 14 stars, 3 black holes. Like a Strippergram waiting in the bushes for me to come home after a long, hard day this movie caught me off guard and was an extremely pleasant surprise. Great character development, awesome visuals, and an intriguing story with high societal relevance. It was a sci fi character study as good as any other and you really feel tremendous sympathy for both the main character and his AI. My only warning is if you happen to see it as a bitter single bachelor this film can hit you kind of hard. Not that I would know anything about that.
1. The Wolf of Wall Street. 13 stars, 3 black holes. No big surprise here. I know I had some issues with this story, it’s length, and the morality of pretty much every character in it but when I think of 2013 and which movie I would like to see a second time this is the one that pops into mind. Leonardo Di Caprio holds your attention like your eyeballs are superglued to the screen, the story flows in it’s development, and there is a ton of gratuitous nudity. Martin Scorsese knows what he is doing and wrings a powerful performance out of even the most minor character. (the saxophone werewolf image I found in the vintage t shirt collection. I couldn’t find any stock broker t shirts)
So that’s my list. I will say thank God for the last month of movies. Three of my top four I have seen in the last few weeks. Before that 2013 was looking like the Fukushima of cinema years. Also, just to keep this list in perspective as compared to any of the thousands of more “legitimate” reviewers 6 of my 10 are science fiction films, so take that for what you will. If you are truly a nerd than I think that will enhance my reviewing credibility.
Thanks for reading. Please follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. Comments on this list are invited and can be left right here. Off topic suggestions or questions can be emailed to [email protected]. Next post will be my 10 Worst of 2013 and to be honest I think I could probably do the 20 worst. It was a banner year for crap films.
Dave
