21 & Over Review
About as bad as you can imagine x2.
When I reviewed Project X I talked about how much I hated high school and how movies about high school kids having fun and getting laid sends me into a murderous frenzy (actually this is a recurring theme for me so unless you are doing something along the lines of Donnie Darko or Heathers you can expect me to excrete all over your high school comedy). However my natural resentment does not really extend into college as I managed to enjoy myself through most of it. Sure, I still wasn’t getting laid but at least I had friends and wasn’t inclined to kill either myself or everyone else on alternating days. 
Thus the opportunity for me to enjoy college comedy movies is wide open. (Animal House image courtesy of the Funny T Shirt category)
Unfortunately 21 & Over took that potential good will and projectile vomited all over it. It’s a high school comedy without the issue of how to get more booze. If you took the DNA of the Hangover, Superbad, and Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (the really bad one), mixed it all up in a dirty ashtray and the injected into a pregnant banana slug the offspring might look vaguely like this film.
At this point I usually find something to say like “The movie could have been decent if they had just…”. I could probably find something like that, but honestly I just don’t care enough. I think the worst part about this film is the complete lack of impression it will make on your brain. If you have ever turned 21 or seen someone turn 21 then you have seen every funny moment in this film, and the rest of the “plot” is only so much paper towel used to clean up the mess. It really is unremarkable in almost ever regard.
I want to take a second to grind a personal axe with regards to this movie. It is rated R for language and nudity. Films that go R for just violence and gore are a waste of potential. If you are going to get the R rating throw in some hot girls. It will often distract the portion of the audience that likes girls from the horrible plot or whatever other miserable failure your film is maneuvering around. This film did that to an extent. However, for every two seconds of naked, shaky camera boob we saw (and I’m not kidding when I say the longest shot was like two seconds) they would gift us with at least five minutes of naked man ass (or dong). I’m reasonable sure that even girls who are into guys don’t want to see that much manflesh, and as a straight guy I can tell you it makes my eyes very sad.
Anyway, the story. Loser drop out party boy Miller (Miles Teller-Project X, Footloose, Rabbit Hole) and preppy future finance guy Casey (Skylar Austin-Wreck It Ralph, Pitch Perfect, Hamlet 2. By the way, who names their son Skylar?) come to town to celebrate the 21st birthday of high school friend Jeff Chang (Justin Chon-Twilight (all three)). They show up only to discover he has an interview with a medical school the next morning and his draconian father (Francois Chau-Rescue Dawn, Beverly Hills Ninja, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: the Secret of the Ooze) is there to make sure he doesn’t screw up (and to provide the only remotely interesting character in the film).
In spite of what is going on Jeff agrees to go out. At that point it is basically a non-flashback Hangover. He gets drunk off his ass. Casey meets a hot girl (Sarah Wright-the House Bunny, Made of Honor, All You’ve Got) who “forgets” to tell him about her boyfriend until after he is totally into her (speaking as a guy who has set foot in that pile of dog waste on pretty much a weekly basis can you women out there just assume if a guy is talking to you there is a reasonable chance he likes you and you should find a casual way of mentioning your significant other in the first two minutes? Otherwise just save him a lot of time and start the conversation off by kicking him in the nuts. I think most of us would prefer that). Eventually they figure out that then need to get Jeff home before his life is ruined but can’t remember where he lives. They do everything possible to find his home while dragging his passed out ass all over town. They have multiple run ins with the girls angry boyfriend, get branded by a sorority (out of basic human decency I’m not going to go into the events that led up to that moment. Sufficed to say I think I would prefer a fortnight at a forced labor camp to seeing anything that stupid again), discover Jeff’s “dark” secret (it is implied that he is suicidal and possible homicidal, but in the end they figure out that he just likes to party too much. F+ on the plot twist), and engage in enough drinking to kill everyone in the theater from alcohol poisoning.
In the end Jeff finally mans up and bitches out his father, has his penis stretched (again, human decency), and Casey gets the girl. Sorry if I spoiled the movie for you but if you go to see this thing after this review you are a glutton for punishment and probably get some kick out of having someone ruin stuff for you. You would have to be in a vegetative state to not have seen the ending coming from miles away anyway.
The stars. Some nude breasts. One star. In spite of how horrible this film is, there were some points where I laughed. I think it’s just some situations are funny no matter how bad the context. Seeing a drunk guy bazooka barf all over a crowd while riding a mechanical bull is as funny here as it would be in Citizen Kane. One star. Total: two stars.
The black holes. The film treats the story like a half dead abused mule dragging the plot from drunken set piece to drunken set piece. By the end of the film they whipped it to death. One black hole. Derivative of every drunk movie and most of your home videos. One black hole. Way, way, way too much naked man ass. Two black holes. Some of the plot devices were incredibly lame. One black hole. Somehow Miller and Casey managed to do a months worth of drinking and drinking games in like two hours. One black hole. The running gag about the girls boyfriend wasn’t funny the first time, and then they beat it into the ground a couple dozen more times. One black hole. The ending was painfully trite and stupid. One black hole. Overall a big waste of my time. Two black holes. Total: ten black holes.
A grand total of eight black holes. I think the producers of this movie hoped that the drinking theme would drag out the party animals and alcoholics, but I don’t think there is enough booze on the planet to make this movie fun. Given that there is so much good film out there right now give it a pass. Date movie? If you and your date are looking for a quiet, empty place to make out or possible have sex this one will do. I don’t think you will be sharing the theater with many people. Bathroom break? Anywhere you like, and by that I mean feel free to whiz all over the projector. You will be doing American culture a service.
Thanks for reading. I feel cleansed now. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. If you have comments on this film or my review feel free to post them at the bottom. If you have off topic questions or comments you can email me at [email protected]. Talk to you soon.
Dave
