A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 1
Last post I talked a little about the fact that there are women everywhere, and later on I will talk about specific places that I think are particularly cool for this sort of thing. However, if I send you out into the world without equipping you with the bare rudiments of how to open a conversation with them without coming across as a total creep either you will get maced or simply be so intimidated you won’t say anything to anyone. So like a hunter headed out to catch a lion, we have to make sure you are equipped with the proper weapons to bag your game without losing any vital organs.
The first thing we should talk about is the massive fear of rejection most guys (not just nerds, although as a sub group we seem to be more paralyzed by this) experience when contemplating talking to an attractive girl. Let me say that this fear is well founded, as approaching a girl who is a total stranger in akin to crossing a mine field only to get kicked in the nuts on the other side. How, then, do we deal with this? The answer is get used to stepping on land mines and wear a cup.
By that I mean get used to rejection. There are three things you need to do to be great at anything and they are practice, practice, practice. I had a friend who helped me get over my inability to talk to and/or pick up women and the thing he did was told me to go out and get rejected. Not joke. We would go to a club or a bar and he would not give me back my car keys until I had been rejected by 25 different women. He was Batman to my Robin.
(Robin t shirt from the comic book t shirts section). Like Robin, eventually I learned enough and morphed into Nightwing, capable of fighting crime (or getting women) on my own, while my replacement got beat almost to death with a crowbar and blown up by the Joker. However, the biggest part was getting rejected so much that I developed a callous over the part of my ego that gets injured by rejection. Now I am more or less impervious to it.
Now that I think about it, I think this should be your first homework assignment. Starting tonight and until you get a girlfriend your job is to talk to 10 different women each day. You are not trying to pick them up, just get used to talking to them and not feeling bad when they blow you off. And by different women I mean women you do not actually have a legitimate reason to talk to. Coworkers, family member, friends, etc. do not count. You must talk to them for whatever reason (even if it is to ask the time, but I would put a limit of one of those per day). You can wait until tomorrow when I have posted some more guidelines, but if you are really motivated you will get out there tonight.
That’s it, as I kind of have a headache tonight. I will post more tomorrow.
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A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Pants
Pants is pretty basic for men. It is hard to mess up (although trust me, there are ways to make it happen). I’ll run over some quick do’s and don’ts.
Pants should be comfortable, clean, and in good repair. Dark colors are best. Don’t go too baggy unless you have a legitimate reason for it. In casual situations jeans are fine. In slightly more formal (quality bar rather than dive/sports bar) Chinos or slacks, although good jeans are OK. Formal situations slacks for sure. Pants should cover your socks entirely, and about an inch of the back of your shoes. They should NEVER touch the ground. Wear a belt with them (leather, not canvas. No spikes or studs. If possible get it to match your belt at least on color). Your pants should not sag around your ass. Makes it look like you are carrying a load.
There are some things to avoid. Here is a list:
1. No striped pants. No joke. You don’t want to look like a clown, and stripes tend to make you look fatter anyway.
2. No checkered pants. Again, same stuff.
3. Unless you are in the military and actively on duty, no camouflage pants. Seriously. You look like a douche.
4. For that matter, no changes of colors of any kind. This includes flowers, images, patterns, flames, or whatever. Pants should be one color and that’s it.
5. No white pants. Total recipe for disaster.
6. No cargo pants.
7. NO SWEAT PANTS EVER! Unless you are in the gym (and then you should be wearing shorts anyway) nothing says loser slob like sweat pants.
8. Shorts are OK if you are outside on a warm day doing something physical, but generally go with long pants. Also, if your legs are somehow hard to look at (I have a friend who is grossly overweight and insists on wearing shorts at all times. His legs make my eyes sad) don’t wear shorts.
9. And as long as we are on the subject of things around your waist, NEVER, EVER, EVER WEAR A FANNY PACK! I can’t stress this enough. If your pants don’t have pockets odds are you bought some womens slacks.
Speaking of pockets, try to avoid overloading them. It breaks up the lines and makes you look weird. Wallet, keys, cell phone, and maybe a business card holder is about the limit. If you think you need more stuff you are treading in weirdo territory. Also, avoid hanging stuff on your belt. I hate those guys. You are not freaking Batman (image from the comic book t shirt section).
(I hung out with a guy at one point who opted to carry on his belt two cell phones, a pager, a PDA, and for reasons I still can’t fathom, a garage door opener. I think he finally rethought his equipment options the third time in one night a girl asked him “Is that a garage door opener?”).
Put your cell phone in your pocket.
Next post: Shoes
