Nerd Dating: What to talk about on your first date pt 5
Blah blah blah. I know, it seems like I am dragging this subject out. The fact is the conversation part of the date is the longest, most dangerous, and unfortunately potentially most boring part of any date, so it seems appropriate that I drone on ad nauseum on the subject (I can expect any number of comments from my female fans and readers on the order of “If you are bored you aren’t doing it right, or are yourself boring, or are just some kind of a worthless jerk.” Sorry, ladies, but dates where the guy doesn’t get bored are on the order of Bigfoot or Loch Ness Monster sightings; in theory we know they could possibly exist, but don’t really believe we will ever see one).
Anyway, it still falls upon you to maintain 50-99% of the conversation, so we are going to keep going over more stuff until I feel we have covered enough material to get you through a complete date.
This post we are going to talk about current events. This is a great topic, assuming both you and your date keep up with them. A good friend of mine is dating a girl who apparently doesn’t have a TV, internet, radio, or read newspapers. I can’t imagine what they talk about, but the few conversations I have had with here have either been painfully boring 
or devolved into me telling stories from my fascinating childhood.
(Growing up in Southern California this tongue on the pole thing never actually happened to me. However, had the temperature ever dropped low enough I guarantee it would have been me stuck to the pole. Shirt image courtesy of the movie t shirt category)
So current events are great, but you have to be selective. Remember last post when I talked about the danger of getting into religion and politics? Talking about current political events may give her the crumbs of information she needs to make a determination as to where you really stand (or worse, to completely misinterpret where you stand). Same with anything religious.
Honestly, the best thing to talk about in current events is going to be celebrity gossip. Not only is this non-confrontational (unless she is a freaky fan girl for whoever you are talking about, but those are pretty rare) but women love talking about it. Do yourself a favor and spend some time on Radar Online or TMZ and pick up some juicy tidbits on the latest celebrity scandal. Also, be sure to do a little background research on whoever the celebrity under discussion actually is. Nothing will make you look like an ass more than saying something like “Did you see that thing on Britney Spears claiming abuse?” only to find that your date is an expert on all things Britney and you look aren’t even sure why she’s a celebrity (“She sings songs? I’ll have to check her out”).
So current events are a fertile parcel of land upon which to grow a long, time filling conversation. The best you can hope for is saying something like “How about that Snooki arrest?” and having her go into a 20 minute diatribe on Snooki wherein you merely have to nod, make the occasional witty or incredulous comment, and think about something else. Works like a charm.
Of course, once in a while you might meet a girl who thinks celebrity gossip is a huge and inane waste of time, but these girls inevitably fall into the category I like to call “Huge pain in the ass to date” so better that you find out early. Also, a lot of girls will claim to think they don’t follow celebrities but will then spend an hour talking about how lame they are in excruciating details.
I don’t think I am done with this topic yet, so expect more discussion discussion tomorrow.
Dating for Nerds: Dating Etiquette Part 5-conversation no no’s
It’s now time to impress your date with your wit and verve, or at least not weird her out to the point that she runs out into the night screaming. This is harder than you would think, and honestly even if you are good at it is probably the most onerous part of the date. However, once you get into the swing of it you can have a lot of fun and still not freak out your date.
When we spoke about opening conversations I stressed not actually talking about anything actually about you or her. You were supposed to discuss observational things from around you. Unfortunately, at this point you are now obligated to actually tell her stuff about you, which is a trap on the order of the Hellraiser cube.
(image courtesy of the movie t shirt category)
As always, however, before we get into what we can safely talk about I have to go into what you cannot talk about. Here is a partial list:
1. Any issues or problems you have. This is all stuff you discuss on the third date.
2. Any ex-girlfriend.
3. Religion or politics unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure you totally agree with her.
4. Anything medical.
5. Your horrible relationship with any of your family members, especially either parent (this one has bit me on the ass many times. The ghost of my father haunts me to this day).
6. Your nerdiest habits, unless she is a true nerd too. It’s OK to tell her you like Star Wars, but don’t go into a diatribe about how TOS is far superior to TNG. Never admit you go to any kind of convention that supports your bad habits. Don’t talk about anything you collect, unless it’s money. Eventually she will learn about your comic book collection and weird obsession with Farscape, but honestly I would wait until you get her into your bed. If she is truly the one for you she will accept your nerd habits eventually, but you don’t have to unload both barrels into her fact in the first hour. Let the pressure build over time instead of hitting her full bore.
7. Yourself all night.
Again, this is a short list. Next post we’ll get into what you can actually talk about, but if you can avoid most of these you will do a lot for you.
