Nerd Dating: Dirty Dating Tricks Part 4: Eye Contact
I think it kind of ironic that I am stuffing this one into the dating tricks category rather than in normal dating techniques, but I thought about it and decided that some of you would actually respond better and apply it more if you can think of it as a trick rather than a standard practice of human behavior.
The fact is, while you are engaged with her in any kind of conversation, do your best to look into her eyes at all times. The eyes are the windows of the soul, and she will feel a deeper connection as the date progresses.
This has always been something of a struggle for me. I am constantly distracted by movement, and for years I would only stare at the girl’s mouth as she talked because it was moving. Kind of threw a lot of my dates off. (Lips image from Rocky Horror courtesy of the movie t shirt category)
The other thing about looking into her eyes, aside from the development of a connection and real relationship, is it give you a focal point that will not get you into trouble. Women, in my experience, are by nature usually distrustful and suspicious of guys, as well as insecure about their appearance. Every time you look away from her eyes you are probably triggering a negative response. In fact, I believe I can reasonably predict the reaction based upon where you look. If you look away from her eyes at the following this is (likely) her thought process:
Down from her face: “He’s looking at my breasts.”
At her hair: “What’s wrong with my hair?”
At her mouth: “My lipstick is smeared.”
At her hands: “My fingers are too short/long/fat/skinny” or “He just noticed the chipped nail.”
Over her shoulder: “He’s looking at another woman.”
If you mistakenly do this then better think of a compliment quick. “Wow, your hair looks great tonight!” “That ring is very cool.” This is pretty much the only way to keep from going bad. However, there are very, very few compliments you can make in the chestular region, so getting caught looking at her chest is pretty bad. Also, if you are distracted by something over her shoulder (I am all the time. That whole “distracted by movement” issue really screws me up sometimes) better find something besides the hot waitress you just noticed to point out to her right away. “Look at that cute dog!” However, if the cute dog is being walked by a super hot girl you are pretty much screwed.
Eye contact is critical. If you can’t meet her eyes she will assume you are not really into her or trying to hide something from her.
By the way, as an interesting aside, one of the reasons dim lighting is considered more romantic (in addition to blurring your lines and more or less making you look a lot better) is your pupils dilate to the most open, making that whole “soul-to-soul” connection that much more powerful. That’s a reason why candlelight works. Something to keep in mind.
