A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Grooming Part 2 Hair
I will admit there are guys out there who are able to go with wild, unkempt hair that somehow attract women by the bushel, but I am willing to bet a decent amount of money that most of the people reading this post are not in that category. Trust me, I grew my hair out to pony tail length twice and never accomplished anything but looking like a skinnier (relatively speaking) Meatloaf.
The simple rules for hair are fourfold: cut, wash, condition, and comb.
Cut your hair. Honestly, the shaggy look can only be successfully pulled by a very small minority. Like successful rock bands, for each success you see there are about 100 guys out there who are flailing madly with it (for bands it is about 10,000 failed band for each successful one. God knows I have found enough while linking stuff for t-shirts like the band Mr. Blonde I found for one of the Reservoir Dogs t-shirts from the movie t shirt section). Go with a clean cut look. And actually go somewhere and pay someone a good amount for the cut. Supercuts will not do. I usually pay about $50 for a haircut ($40 for the cut, and I tip my stylist $10. She is worth every penny) and it took me a couple years to find someone I trust. Also I find sitting in an actual salon listening to the women talk about guys very enlightening, if you catch my drift. Most good hairdressers can look at your hair and come up with a good look, so let him or her have free reign. If they screw it up go to someone else. Incidentally, there is no excuse for mullets.
Wash your hair with shampoo. I hesitate to say this, as I am sure there are guys out there who will take this as license to wash their hair once a month, but the fact is you shouldn’t wash your hair every day. Natural oils are the best thing for your hair and keep it looking good. I wash my hair every 2 or 3 days (I still bathe every day, of course). Use good shampoo. Wash, rinse, repeat.
After you have washed your hair use some conditioner. It will add body and health to your hair. I like to leave my conditioner in while I wash the rest of my body, then rinse it out. Don’t forget that part. I have.
Finally, comb your hair neatly. My hair tends to lie nicely where I comb it for most of the day, but if I want to look particularly sharp I will use some gel. If you are not sure how to best comb and/or style your hair, part of the $50 you are spending on your hairstylist can readily be applied to some instructions on what to do with your hair at home.
Finally, if you are unfortunately losing your hair, spare yourself the pain and do not get into plugs, spray on hair, or the worst hair decision a balding man can make, a combover. You are not fooling anyone at all. The thing to do is simple: shave it off. Go skin. You will gain respect for having embraced your condition, as well as saving a ton of time and money on washing, combing, and cutting your hair. Also you can make snide comments about hair loss being caused by all the excess testosterone you have oozing out of your pores. Seriously, just take it off. The guy who did the Mensa lecture shaves his scalp and has no problems with women.
Ash is clean cut.
Next Post: Shaving
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: the Ground Rules
Ok, let’s get into the basics, and by that I mean the basics of how this is going to proceed. In an effort to avoid being nerd raged spammed I will lay out where I am coming from and what I expect from those of you who might read this.
1. None of these are directed at you specifically. Don’t send me “I never do that” emails.
2. Almost all of the mistakes I will be talking about I have made. I am not kidding when I say I have learned all this the hard way. 
Like this World of Warcraft shirt says, I am classically trained.
3. If I advise you to do something and you think “There is no way women respond to that” before emailing me please take the time to ask a couple non-nerd women and see what they say. You will be surprised, especially on the grooming issues.
4. These tips and guidelines are very general and situational. I am sure the girl you are interested in is an exception to every rule I lay out here. However, if you have been courting (stalking) her for more than a couple weeks why don’t you try some of these things before posting a “Dave you’re an idiot” response.
5. With regards to questions about my posts I will be happy to reply as well as I can but do me a favor and keep your questions as general as possible. I don’t need to hear all the gruesome details of the object of your unrequited love (“and then the third time I saw her she was wearing the same shoes as the second time but different jeans…“) and like I said, each person is different and only you can interpret her actions and comments (although if you take my advice, you will not). If you have a situation describe it as succinctly as possible and I will be happy to respond.
6. While I support any lifestyle you may or may not choose to follow, I am straight and therefore my knowledge base is more or less geared towards trying to date straight women. Lesbians may find some worthwhile advice here (although not really, I think. I lived with two lesbians for a while and there is a whole different interaction I could never really understand), but gay men and women seeking straight men (honestly, if you are a woman having trouble dating nerd men than you have problems that go beyond the scope of any blog. Just go to a comic book convention) I will not be able to help as much.
7. Finally, if you are a woman reading this blog and feel the need to comment, please do so. However, I feel that comments on the “Women never do that” level will more or less be a waste of time. My advice has been forged on the anvil of dating pain and it will take more than a blistering response to change it. I think if you read thoughtfully you will find, as the Mensa women at my first lecture did, that my advice is rather pithy and will actually make the men who follow it easier to date for you. Know that I do respect women but am in all things a realist. If you have a question about men and how to date them feel free to post and I will give you my best advice, but it is kind of out of my scope.
Next Post: Part 1 Grooming
