Here Come the Boom Review
What could possibly make Kevin James more appealing? How about Kevin James in a unitard?
That’s a little unfair I guess. I actually enjoyed this movie. I think it’s fair to say that to date I have not treated Kevin James movies with the kindest hand. For the most part I find them to be lame remakes of King of Queens but instead of playing a fat loser UPS driver with an incredibly hot wife he plays a fat loser job X with the incredibly hot wife/girlfriend. There’s only so much Kevin James looking lame in a dumb uniform that I can handle.
This movie manages to exceed the boundaries of the genre. The Kevin James genre that is. Sure, he plays a fat high school teacher who ends up within a hot girlfriend (Selma Hayek). However it didn’t annoy me like it usually does and I found myself rooting for his character. Maybe it’s because he kept getting his ass beaten over and over.
This movie had other elements that worked as well. The characters were all interesting and well-developed, especially Henry Winkler. The story had no glaringly obvious potholes, except of course for the obvious one of a 42-year-old high school biology teacher beating fighting and winning against an MMA champion who looks like a white Hulk. But generally it was a fun, harmless movie.
The story follows the general Rocky, Bad news Bears, Kevin James formula (Rocky image courtesy of the Movie T Shirt category). Scott Voss (Kevin James-the Zookeeper, King of Queesn, Paul Blart, Mall Cop) is a high school biology teacher who is kind of on his ass not giving a damn about teaching anymore. He is on the outs with his principle (Greg Germann-Bolt, Ally McBeal, Sweet November), who is sort of the villain but not really. He is also into the school nurse Betty (Selma Hayek-Desperado, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Frida. As an aside, our school followed the “I hope you know how to put on your own band aid because if you get hurt you will bleed to death” policy of not having a school nurse but if we had had one this hot I would have managed to get hurt every day) who consistently rejects him. He is friends with the music teacher Marty Streb (Henry Winkler-Happy Days, the Water Boy, Night Shift) who is dedicated to helping his kids. Unfortunately the principal has to announce the cessation of all extracurricular activities due to lack of budget.
Any of this sounding familiar? Scott meets an MMA trainer named Niko (Bas Rutten-the Smashing Machine, Paul Blart, Mall Cop, Inside MMA). Once he learns what even losing MMA fighters earn he decides to train to be an MMA fighter and donate his winnings to saving the music program. After that it’s pretty much fat Rocky. There is a sub plot about a girl in the music programs who’s father needs her to work at his restaurant, Niko’s trying to pass the citizenship test, and Scotts father or brother (I really couldn’t figure it out) hating his job. Honestly they were all pretty minor and managed to not derail the plot at all.
Scott eventually ends up in the octagon with a bad ass MMA fighter known as the Executioner (Krzysztof Soszynski-the Ultimate Fighter, CSI) who looks like he chews on railroad ties for breakfast. There is some cool stuff in the background about how the MMA sets up and supports stuff like this that may or may not be real.
The stars. The actual fighting was kind of cool. Hokey in a Three Stooges kind of way at first but got better as Scotts skills advanced, showing a nice progression. One star. Henry Winkler was pretty awesome. One star. The entire rest of the cast managed to deliver a fine performance, and even the actual MMA fighters used in the film did a really good job of it (normally athletes pulled into movies are the death knell of the acting qualities. Just look at Shaun White in Friends With Benefits). One star. Selma Hayek can grace my screen any time she likes, if you know what I mean. One star. By the end of the film I found myself actually rooting for Scott, which means they managed to get me to connect with the protagonist. Always a good move for a movie. One star. In spite of what I was expecting (suckage) it was a good and fun film experience. One star. Total: six stars.
The black holes. The entire concept of a 43 year old overweight guy beating anyone in MMA is laughable. One black hole. You spend a lot of time seeing Kevin James in a unitard. That’s a lot of dumpy white guy to have to look at. One black hole. Total: two black holes.
A grand total of four stars. Honestly I’m as surprised as anyone. In concept this looked to be a lame as possible without starring Nicholas Cage. However, I have to say I enjoyed it quite a bit. Should you see it? Sure, why not? It won’t surprise you but it won’t offend you. I’d say the best word for it is safe. Date movie? Actually yes. It has a good, uplifting message and Kevin James is one actor you can probably count on looking at least decent in comparison. Bathroom break? A big stretch of the movie is training montage and none of that is really too critical. If I had to pick a point I’d say the scene where Niko is teaching his yoga class could readily be missed, and it’s towards the second half so it would serve you well. The movie is 105 minutes so it’s not too long, but maybe just long enough to need a break.
Thanks for reading. I also saw Seven Psychopaths and will review that one tomorrow morning. I will try to see Argo and Sinister this week. Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu. Post any comments you have on this film or my review here. Off topic questions or comments can be emailed to [email protected]. Talk to you soon. Have a great day.
Dave
