Nerd Dating: Dirty Dating Tricks Part 4: Eye Contact
I think it kind of ironic that I am stuffing this one into the dating tricks category rather than in normal dating techniques, but I thought about it and decided that some of you would actually respond better and apply it more if you can think of it as a trick rather than a standard practice of human behavior.
The fact is, while you are engaged with her in any kind of conversation, do your best to look into her eyes at all times. The eyes are the windows of the soul, and she will feel a deeper connection as the date progresses.
This has always been something of a struggle for me. I am constantly distracted by movement, and for years I would only stare at the girl’s mouth as she talked because it was moving. Kind of threw a lot of my dates off. (Lips image from Rocky Horror courtesy of the movie t shirt category)
The other thing about looking into her eyes, aside from the development of a connection and real relationship, is it give you a focal point that will not get you into trouble. Women, in my experience, are by nature usually distrustful and suspicious of guys, as well as insecure about their appearance. Every time you look away from her eyes you are probably triggering a negative response. In fact, I believe I can reasonably predict the reaction based upon where you look. If you look away from her eyes at the following this is (likely) her thought process:
Down from her face: “He’s looking at my breasts.”
At her hair: “What’s wrong with my hair?”
At her mouth: “My lipstick is smeared.”
At her hands: “My fingers are too short/long/fat/skinny” or “He just noticed the chipped nail.”
Over her shoulder: “He’s looking at another woman.”
If you mistakenly do this then better think of a compliment quick. “Wow, your hair looks great tonight!” “That ring is very cool.” This is pretty much the only way to keep from going bad. However, there are very, very few compliments you can make in the chestular region, so getting caught looking at her chest is pretty bad. Also, if you are distracted by something over her shoulder (I am all the time. That whole “distracted by movement” issue really screws me up sometimes) better find something besides the hot waitress you just noticed to point out to her right away. “Look at that cute dog!” However, if the cute dog is being walked by a super hot girl you are pretty much screwed.
Eye contact is critical. If you can’t meet her eyes she will assume you are not really into her or trying to hide something from her.
By the way, as an interesting aside, one of the reasons dim lighting is considered more romantic (in addition to blurring your lines and more or less making you look a lot better) is your pupils dilate to the most open, making that whole “soul-to-soul” connection that much more powerful. That’s a reason why candlelight works. Something to keep in mind.
Interview with Indy Horror Queen Reyna Young Part 2
Today we continue our interview with Reyna Young, horror queen extraordinaire and owner of Last Doorway Productions as we talk about independent horror films and her documentary on women in horror, Welcome to My Darkside.
Dave: You mentioned the world of independent horror. Is it fair to say that there is an entire subculture of independent horror producers and fans? If you are involved in that world do you find that you tend to know everyone else into indy horror and everyone tends to support each other as much as they can?
Reyna: There is a whole world of Independent Horror and we all pretty much know each other. Yes there is a lot of support and help when we need it. Everyone tends to lend a hand when one of us needs it. It’s really nice. I admit I have met assholes but then again that’s anywhere you go and any genre you’re in.
Dave: What role do you see women taking in modern and sub culture horror movies today?
Reyna: I see more and more females coming up in this genre as director’s, producers, and editors. Yes there is still the majority of females who are actress’s but those actress’s are often stepping behind the camera or writing they’re own script to show that they’re more then just a naked body in front of the camera or a pretty face in a horror film.
Dave: What roles would you like to see them take?
Reyna: I like to see women take on director and writing roles. I mean females have this inner darkside to them; they want to see blood and they want to see people die and they want to show everyone what their made of. They’re not just in front of the camera to be a star. They can also write, direct, and produce. I think it’s wonderful when a woman can do so much for a genre she loves and kick ass.
Dave: Is there a distinct, discernable difference between films produced by women or men? Can you make an accurate guess as to the gender of the writer or the director, or is it not obvious?
Reyna: I guess it really depends on the film. I mean I can tell the difference sometimes between a film directed by a man and a film directed by a woman so yes there’s a difference. Like for example the first Twilight film I admit was good and you can tell that a lot of heart was put into it. Then I watched the second and third installment directed by men and it seemed sloppy and put together fast. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that a man directed the films but having females touch on a love story makes a big difference.
Dave: Do you think female roles in horror movies are treated fairly?
Reyna: Well we are always going to have the bimbos or naked women getting killed in front of the camera. There is nothing is wrong with that but you have to see that there are a lot of strong females characters in the horror films. 
Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween or Adrienne King in Friday The 13th are examples of strong female roles. Yes they were females who ran from their killers and even cried but gained strength in those films. They stood up, fought back and were a strong female influence. I wanted to grow up and be Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween because she fought off the bad guy. She was my hero. Sure there are the films that females are treated unfairly but there are also films where they rule. It’s kind of a 50/50 thing. (Friday the 13th image courtesy of the horror movie t shirt category)
(continued next post)
Interview with Indy Horror Queen Reyna Young Part 1
Last week at the Sacramento Sci Fi and Horror Convention I met Reyna Young, independent horror film producer. She owns Last Doorway Productions and, with her husband John, has recently produced Welcome to My Darkside, a Documentary of Women in Horror. It seemed really interesting and so I thought I would interview her and put it up on my blog as a break from all the dating advice. I plan to do other interviews in the future as well
Dave: How did you first get into horror movies?
Reyna: When I was a little girl I was never allowed to watch horror films. I woke up my little sister one morning in October, and we snuck into my dad’s VHS collection. I pulled out John Carpenters Halloween and ever since then I became obsessed with Horror. From there I watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and A Nightmare on Elm Street and started reading Edgar Allan Poe! I’ve been obsessed with horror ever since and it’s been fun. (Texas Chainsaw Massacre image courtesy of the horror movie t shirt category)
Dave: Do you have any experience in horror movie production?
Reyna: I write, direct, produce, and edit my own horror shorts and features. My husband John Gillette edits and does camera work for me as well. I started my own film company called Last Doorway Productions and since 2006 we have 9 shorts and one feature under our belt and another feature and my shorts on the way. I am also Horror Hostess Miss Misery of The Last Doorway Show show we created to help promote independent artists. We have 60 episodes and more on the way.
Dave: Do you consider yourself more of a horror movie fan, horror movie producer, or documentarian?
Reyna: WOW!! Well I like to think that I’m all three. I am inspired every day to do something new and I learn from everything I do. I am a huge horror fan; always have been and always will be. Yes I produce horror films, help out on sets, and get involved with as much movie stuff that I can. Welcome to My Darkside is my first documentary and yes I want to do more. I want to do one on men in the horror genre and get their aspects on things.
Dave: Who do you see as the biggest influence in horror movie productions today?
Reyna: That’s a hard question because everyone is an influence to me. I give everyone credit who picks up a camera or just gets off their ass and does something. Anyone who does what they love and feels good about doing it. In a world of re-makes right now I must say I have noticed more and more people getting into the world of independent horror and it’s coming up a lot more these days. I have friends who were never into independent horror and now that’s all they watch. Independent horror I think will help influence people to do more original films then just remakes.
Dave: What do you think is the motivation behind all the horror re-makes? Is it a tribute to classic horror or just a lack of creativity in Hollywood?
Reyna: Well, I think that originality is lacking and the only way they keep the money rolling in is if they re-make all these classics. I have heard teens nowadays say that they didn’t know A Nightmare on Elm Street was a re-make. I think that’s pretty bad.
(Continued next post)
Back from Vegas; Vernon Wells is really cool.
OK I have been seriously remiss about blogging ever since I left for Vegas. I got back on Monday night and have been up to my rear in trying to reconcile and re sort the inventory, not to mention pay bills and order replacement inventory.
Also, my day job dropped a painfully bad yet critically important project in my lap, and I have a big Warhammer tournament next weekend and have to do a lot of work to get ready for that. Plus I am spending another two days in Las Vegas for a trade show I go to to look at some new t-shirts. Just when I think my life can’t get any busier, I somehow find a new, previously unknown higher gear on the gearshift and go into another level of crazy busy.
Wah wah wah. Enough whining about my ridiculous life. Lets talk about the Star Trek Convention.
First of all, it was amazing. 15,000 hard core fans, all of them extremely cool. I got to see Shatner wandering the vendor area (trailed by about 300 fan boys), hung out with some minor celebrities, and met my future wife dressed as an extremely cute Vulcan. Unfortunately, she lives on the other side of the country, has a boyfriend, and really didn’t show any real interest in my, but heck, she was dressed as an extremely cute Vulcan.
One of the minor celebrities I met was a very cool Australian named Vernon Wells. Hopefully we all remember him as Wez from The Road Warrior. If not, he was the scariest man to ever wear a Mohawk, and if you knew some of my friends from my punk rock days you would understand what level that statement puts him at. We was also in Commando. He is a great guy with an awesome sense of humor.
Turns out his wife is a big Evil Dead fan and he wanted to get her this Necronomicon shirt from the horror movie t shirt category. He was such a nice guy that I traded him the shirt for an autographed photo. You have never seen a look so intense.
By the way, Vernon reprized his roll as Wez in the movie Weird Science, which was a big part of my teenage nerd days. Really cool.
Anyway, I’ll post more about the show later this week. Overall it was a wondrous experience and I highly recommend you all attend next year. If you do stop by and say hi at our booth.
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 8
Sorry again about not posting as frequently as I would like, but I have been super busy getting ready for the Quake City Rumble, the biggest Warhammer tournament I do every year. It was this last weekend and I am happy to report that I received the Best Army award and placed 5th out of over 100 competitors. Now I should have some more time to continue with this guide for all you single nerd guys out there.
Ok, you’ve started a conversation, you’ve managed to not offend or disgust her, and things seem to be moving nicely. What next?
The answer is simple. Get her number (or email address) and bug out. DO NOT spend all night talking to her. I’ve covered that before, but really, you should get her number within 10-15 minutes of starting a conversation. If you have a limited time (bus is arriving, etc) make it quicker, but by no means extend the conversation beyond about 15 minutes. Get it quick.
Any experienced sales professional (I worked in sales for years) will tell you that you will never get the deal until you ask for it, and the same holds true for women. YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER. She will never volunteer to give you it. In fact, most women are so insecure that they will not even be sure that you like them until you ask. Asking her for her number will cement in her mind the idea that you like her and she will be able to tell you if she likes you or not (if she opts to not give you her number, the answer is she does not. Live with it). Also, if you don’t man up and ask odds are she will think you are some kind of wimp. Women like confidence.
I have always found that the best way to get a number or email address is, after a pleasant, engaging conversation (with her actively participating) is to say something like “Hey, we should hang out sometime.” Don’t be specific (unless she has expressed a massive interest in something. For example, if she has said she is a massive bull riding fan you could suggest going to a rodeo). She will know what you mean, and that will give you time to figure out what the hell you are going to do when you go out. If she thinks you are kind of cool, interesting, or sexy (remember all that grooming and dressing we did earlier?) she will probably say sure. You can also judge how much she likes you by the type of contact info she gives you. Here is a breakdown.
Cell phone number=Great!
Business card=Good.
Email address=Ok
Facebook page=Meh. (image courtesy of the horror movie t-shirts)
She takes your business card=Bleh.
She takes your number=Uh-oh.
By the way, even though giving her your card is second to the last worst result, it is always worth doing. Business cards cost about $.02 each and are well worth it for the “Hail Mary” when all else fails. I was out with a group once and gave a bunch of people my card and the one girl I liked ended up calling me. Don’t give up, but don’t really expect a call. By the way, always have business cards with you. You never know when something could drop in your life.
Put her number or email into your phone (hopefully iPhone).
Once you get her number or whatever, get out. There is a pattern to these things and once you get the number, in most people’s minds the conversation is done. Do not keep talking to here as it will only feel awkward and make you look really lame. Say something like “Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon” and move onto the next girl. Really. Don’t screw up all your work.
Next post, how to call and hopefully avoid this the let’s be friends speech.
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A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Grooming Part 2 Hair
I will admit there are guys out there who are able to go with wild, unkempt hair that somehow attract women by the bushel, but I am willing to bet a decent amount of money that most of the people reading this post are not in that category. Trust me, I grew my hair out to pony tail length twice and never accomplished anything but looking like a skinnier (relatively speaking) Meatloaf.
The simple rules for hair are fourfold: cut, wash, condition, and comb.
Cut your hair. Honestly, the shaggy look can only be successfully pulled by a very small minority. Like successful rock bands, for each success you see there are about 100 guys out there who are flailing madly with it (for bands it is about 10,000 failed band for each successful one. God knows I have found enough while linking stuff for t-shirts like the band Mr. Blonde I found for one of the Reservoir Dogs t-shirts from the movie t shirt section). Go with a clean cut look. And actually go somewhere and pay someone a good amount for the cut. Supercuts will not do. I usually pay about $50 for a haircut ($40 for the cut, and I tip my stylist $10. She is worth every penny) and it took me a couple years to find someone I trust. Also I find sitting in an actual salon listening to the women talk about guys very enlightening, if you catch my drift. Most good hairdressers can look at your hair and come up with a good look, so let him or her have free reign. If they screw it up go to someone else. Incidentally, there is no excuse for mullets.
Wash your hair with shampoo. I hesitate to say this, as I am sure there are guys out there who will take this as license to wash their hair once a month, but the fact is you shouldn’t wash your hair every day. Natural oils are the best thing for your hair and keep it looking good. I wash my hair every 2 or 3 days (I still bathe every day, of course). Use good shampoo. Wash, rinse, repeat.
After you have washed your hair use some conditioner. It will add body and health to your hair. I like to leave my conditioner in while I wash the rest of my body, then rinse it out. Don’t forget that part. I have.
Finally, comb your hair neatly. My hair tends to lie nicely where I comb it for most of the day, but if I want to look particularly sharp I will use some gel. If you are not sure how to best comb and/or style your hair, part of the $50 you are spending on your hairstylist can readily be applied to some instructions on what to do with your hair at home.
Finally, if you are unfortunately losing your hair, spare yourself the pain and do not get into plugs, spray on hair, or the worst hair decision a balding man can make, a combover. You are not fooling anyone at all. The thing to do is simple: shave it off. Go skin. You will gain respect for having embraced your condition, as well as saving a ton of time and money on washing, combing, and cutting your hair. Also you can make snide comments about hair loss being caused by all the excess testosterone you have oozing out of your pores. Seriously, just take it off. The guy who did the Mensa lecture shaves his scalp and has no problems with women.
Ash is clean cut.
Next Post: Shaving
The irony is killing me
So I logged onto the USPS website to order some shipping labels and get my orders out in a timely manner. They ask me to fill out a quick survey and I obliged. Up until now the service has been excellent and I more or less said so. After lauding them on their survey I try to print my shipping labels and their entire website collapses. Ironic.
Makes me think there are dark powers at work in the universe, sometimes, like our good friend Cthulhu and they are actively trying to aggravate me. I know this is paranoid, but when you kill Deathwhisper 20 times and fail to see the bow that other raids are disenchanting left and right even once it encourages paranoid thoughts. Besides, I wouldn’t be so paranoid if people weren’t out to get me.
Anyway, I am more or less killing time hoping USPS gets their site fixed. I have things to do today.
Evil Dead the Musical
I mentioned the other day that when Dave sent me a copy of the movie Special he also sent me a music CD. It’s the soundtrack to the Evil Dead, the Musical. I am, of course, a huge Evil Dead fan (I used to say Sam Raime fan, until I saw what he did to the last Spiderman movie. Poor Peter Parker) and own all three movies (special collectors editions, with the rubber Necronomicon cover that scream when you press the eye). Evil Dead 2 is my fav, but all three have something worth watching. For some reason, I can only find Army of Darkness shirts like this one from the horror movie t shirt section. Weird.
Anyway, I listened to the CD yesterday. It’s funny, but not great if you know what I mean. I love the soundtrack to Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, so it’s not that I hate musical theater, but somehow it’s just not that funny. Too obvious, and way too upbeat for the Evil Dead in my less-than-humble opinion.
Anyway, it’s still funny, but it won’t make it into my regular music rotation. I am having a much better day today than yesterday. No parking tickets, no getting my ass beat in Warhammer (last night’s game was a little on the painful side), and getting a lot of work done. Good day all around.
Parking tickets suck, and a guy bought one of my favorite shirts
So I got a parking ticket tonight for being 12 inches into a red zone. I know I’m at fault but you would think that after about 8pm the meter maids would have other things to do. Oakland is hurting for cash, and has decided the best way to solve their problems is to put it’s residents in as much pain as possible.
The irony is in the movie I watched last night, Special, the main character is a meter maid. All of a sudden I have a lot less sympathy for him.
Earlier a guy was the first to buy one of my favorite shirts, Lego Leatherface from my horror movie t shirt section. I love Lego and think this is so freaking cool. Good to know there are other guys out there with good taste in t shirts. Anyway, I am mostly bitching about parking tickets on this one. I’ll do a better blog tomorrow after I’ve gotten over it.
