A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Grooming Part 5 The Mouth
Here is a funny story to introduce this topic. Years ago I had a job driving across the country doing promotional events. My friend and I ended up in New Orleans a few weeks after Mardi Gras and naturally had to hand out on Bourbon Street. We parked our van and not five minutes later while walking towards Bourbon Street three cute girls, two of them giggling their asses off, came up and asked us if either of us had our tongues pierced. By coincidence at the time I did (this was my post-punk body piercing phase). The two giggling girls explained that their friend (who was turning red from embarrassment) was visiting from Alaska and had never kissed a guy with a pierced tongue and asked if I would. I did (she was really cute) and enjoyed it. Of course years later as a more mature adult I get weirded by the thought of that kind of casual contact, but back then I knew no fear.
Incidentally, my friend decided that night he wanted to sit down with one of the street fortune tellers and ended up talking to her for two hours. Kind of weird. Fortunately I had my yo-yo with me. No joke.
Anyway, the point of this story is, casual contact aside, you never know when you will need your mouth for things other than eating and talking. It is therefore very important that you keep it clean and orderly.
First of all, there is never an excuse for bad breath. Make extensive use of breath mints, Binaca (one day I’ll tell you the story about my friend who shot Binaca up his nose…twice), breath strips, or even gum. If you are fortunate enough to be having dinner with a girl hold the onions. Honestly, just be aware of your breath and take steps to keep it minty fresh.
At the risk of sounding like a public service announcement (anyone else remember Yuck Mouth?) you should most definitely brush and floss your teeth multiple times a day, preferably after every meal. See your dentist 
often. If you have crooked teeth or a gap (or look like Jaws from this movie t shirt) look into getting them straitened. I went out with a girl who was in all ways gorgeous and smart, but she had a massive gap in her front teeth and that’s all I could ever see.
Also, be aware that if you drink a lot of brown liquids (coffee is the number one culprit, but I had a real bad Diet Coke habit that hit me hard) it will tend to turn your teeth brownish. Use a whitening toothpaste. Also when you visit your dentist there are a number of different tooth whitening procedures that can help with this.
Anyway, that’s it. Like hair and bathing, mouth care takes a little work, but you will reap the benefit. Girls dig guys who smile a lot.
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