Nerd Movie Reviews

Some thoughts on the new Star Wars trailer

I, like 99.999% of the nerd world, recently saw the new Star Wars trailer and am very excited.  I like where they are going with the guy from Attack the Block and loved the Mark Hamil voice over.  I have my fingers crossed rigidly in hopes of a reboot that washes out both the hatred I feel for Lucas for Episodes I-III and the hatred I feel for JJ Abrams for the last two Star Trek train wrecks.

However, like I did with the first one there always has to something that bugs me about it and as much as I hate to say it in this case it’s Harrison Ford.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Han Solo and thought his inclusion in this film as a veteran rogue giving advice to a new group of swashbucklers would be awesome.  However the instead opted to stick him in with only the wrinkles on his face showing any sign that time has passed.  He is even dressed exactly the same (you would think that sometime in the past 20 years he might have picked up a hat or found his old Def Leppard t-shirt.  Chewbacca looks exactly the same and has the same crossbow.  Don’t Wookies get grey hair at some point?  There was a lot of grey on Itchy from the Star Wars Holiday Special.  Sorry Disney.  Lucas created it so it is still canon.  Happy Life Day!  Chewie image courtesy of our collection of Star Wars t-shirts).  It looks like they are going to stick Han Solo in like he’s been smuggling “spice” since the Emperor died.

But really the problem is that his cameo felt as forced and awkward as a catheter made from a firehose.  It felt like going to a wild 6 keg frat party at college and have your uncle show up and hang out.  You are glad to see him but he just seems really out of place and kind of hampers your enjoyment.  It just felt odd.  Also what was up with his line “Chewie…we’re home”?  Wasn’t he a general in the rebellion at the end of Jedi?  Also wasn’t he supposed to marry Princess Leia?  Was that the best line they could think of for him?  Maybe if they wanted to ramp up the cheese factor.

Anyway regardless I am very excited and will write more on it soon.  Thanks

the Infamous Dave Inman

Some thoughts on the new Star Wars trailer Part 7

The cast, the Force, and the title.

Plus: they pulled the original cast for the film.

I do get a nostalgic feeling at the idea of seeing Princess Leia (or perhaps Queen Leia) and Luke again.  (Image courtesy of the Star Wars t-shirts)

Minus: they pulled the original cast for the film.

When I went to my 20 year high school reunion I spent the entire night asking “What happened to all the hot chicks I went to high school with and who are all these middle aged housewives?”  I don’t know if I’m ready to see Carrie Fisher 30 years later.  I’d like to keep some of the fantasy of her in the metal bikini alive.

Plus: looks like they are bringing back the Force.

The opening line “There has been an awakening.  Have you felt it” implies that we are finally done with midiclorians and can can repress that memory like the time my mothers suitcase fell open and a large sex toy rolled out.  It will always be “that bad idea” that only survived one movie and was buried under the burning bile of 22,000,000 Star Wars fans.

Minus: the title of the film.

“The Force Awakens” is exactly the kind of ambiguous garbage “the Phantom Menace” was.  The good films all had pretty clear titles.  The Empire Strikes Back was about the Empire striking back.  What do they mean the Force Awakens?  Was it asleep?  I thought Darth Vader returned balance or something?  Is the Force now sentient?  The title absolutely reeks of design by committee and as such implies so is the movie.  Potentially very bland.

(continued)

Next

Previous