A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 4
Ok. You’ve started a conversation with an attractive, hopefully single, straight (I have run into that problem frequently, to tell the truth) woman and now you are at one of the points wherein you normally screw up: keeping the conversation going without coming across as a total nerd loser or getting shut down by the girl.
This is one of the toughest things you need to learn to do. Most nerd guys, 
when talking to a woman, feel compelled to show her how smart they are (Sanford had it right. Shirt image courtesy of the funny t shirt section) by running at the mouth. They also feel that they need to impress them somehow (more on this later) and do so by telling them a lot of stuff. The fact is, the way to impress a girl is to get them to talk about themselves, not you. And the way to do that is open ended questions.
Here’s how open ended questions work. Never ask a girl a question that can be answered with a conversation ending no. Every question you ask her should lead to other questions. For example, a bad question is “Do you like comic book movies?” That is her opportunity to say “No. Oh, there is my friend across the room. Bye.” Instead, ask her something like “Are you having fun at this (insert social event here)?” Even if she says no, you can ask her why, or what types of events she likes, or what have you. Here are some open ended questions with decent follow ups.
“What do you do for a living?” leads to “Do you enjoy it?” leads to “Why or why not?”
“Are you having fun at this party/club/bar/monster truck rally?” leads to “Why or why not?” leads to “Do you come to these or other events often?:
Girl reading a book or doing some kind of work at a coffee house “What are you reading/working on?” leads to “Do you like that author/work?” leads to “Have you read anything else by that author/done any other work of a similar nature?” leads to “What other authors/work do you like?” This thread can go forever, and lead into a really cool conversation on books or work or whatever.
Girl sitting next to you on a plane or train or possibly at an airport or transit center “Where are you headed?” leads to “Why are you going there?” or “Why were you in the city we are leaving?” leads to “Do you travel a lot?” This is a particularly good question as there is very little women like talking about more than travel.
You kind of get the idea. Don’t sound like you are reading from a script. Let it flow. But when she is talking instead of thinking about your next opportunity to show how smart and cool you are think about your next question for her. To be honest you should be curious about her and women love talking about themselves.
This should go without saying, but with most nerds I can’t count on knowledge of any social skills, so I will go ahead and say it. If for whatever reason you find yourself talking to a girl in a doctor’s waiting room or other medical situation never ask her what brings her there. Women hate discussion their bodies with strangers (they wait until you are in a relationship with them, at which time they will tell you everything in excruciating detail) or any discussion that implies some kind of physical abnormality. Unless it is something both obvious and accidental, like a cast. Then you can get her talking about whatever accident brought her there.
As long as we are discussing this, let me also say that if you are at a bar or club do not make the mistake of hanging out near the ladies room in the assumption that every girl in the place will walk by eventually. Also never try to talk to a girl as she leaves the ladies room. That is creepy x10.
Next post: how to shut the hell up.
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