Another Text Conversation with Dave and Dave: Big Trouble and Zombie Godzilla
More of the same. I’m just having fun with this.
Dave I: Oh goody. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is going to remake Big Trouble in Little China. Finally the last excuse I need to kill myself.
Dave C: Interesting. They are developing games focused on helping kids with autism relate to others. I’ll show you previews sometime. The games look fun and high quality.
DC: What the hell? I didn’t mean to send that to you.
DI: The ghost in the machine strikes again.
DC: Starring Dwayne Johnson
DI: Next he’s going to remake the Godfather.
DC: I’ll pay one MILLION DOLLARS for the shirt on fire.
DI: ?
DC: Constantine shirt.
DI: Did you watch Constantine?
DC: I liked it. I have a great movie idea: ZOMBIE JAWS!
DI: What about Zombie Bridges of Madison County?
DC: LOL
DI: Zombies are uncool now though.
DC: Exactly. I’m counterculture.
DI: LOL. Zombies vs Transformers the Movie.
DC: Cool.
DI: But not the big cool Trasnformers. I want to see Bumblebee and the small annoying racist Transformers go out under a scrum of zombies while Optimus Prime and the rest are getting their oil changed. (image from the Transformers t shirt category)
DC: Hawkeye movie! Corporal Klinger or Gomer Pile?
DI: I liked Klinger better at least after he stopped wearing dresses. (Note-no dislike of transgendered people. I just thought he looked awful in a dress)
DC: Klinger was actually a soldier.
DI: So in that fight I’d say Klinger later season but Gomer during the slinky cocktail dress years.
DC: LOL the heels would tip the balance. Zombie Godzilla vs Optimus Prime.
DI: Zombie Godzilla as long as Prime doesn’t learn to fly.
DC: I want to see Zombie gaijin.
DI: Let’s do all the dead trends. Zombie ninjas vs zombie pirates in a vampire love story.
DC: Zombie LOTR.
DI: I’d pay to see zombie Shire. Ever see Zombie Strippers?
DC: No.
DI: If you ever need another reason to distrust women or strippers see it. It’s more gruesome than funny.
DC: That’s what I thought. I don’t want to mix horror with boobies.
DI: That’s the problem with the vampire romance movies.
DI: Well, one of the problems.
DC: Existing in the primary one.
DI: When your very existence is an abomination and contrary to all natural and moral laws maybe you shouldn’t make a sequel.
DI: Plus if you star a terrible actress.
That’s it for today.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Another text conversation with Dave and Dave: Voltron vs Godzilla
Dave and I do these who would win/who is cooler/who would you rather be or have hang out conversations periodically. This one was pretty good.
Dave I: Who would win? Voltron vs Godzilla?
Dave C: Godzilla. He’d get his ass beat for a while then get pissed and tear them appart.
DI: But Voltron can fly and shoot him from the sky.
DC: Yeah but he’s nigh invulnerable. I love Godzilla and Voltron is a bitch.
DI: True. Plus if flying could defeat him Mothra or King Ghidorah would have kicked hi ass. Also Voltron always tries to to finish opponents with his sword.
DC: Mothra vs 2012 Kraken for stupidest monster.
DI: Don’t forget Mothra was awoken by hot chicks chanting at him.
DC: Their Asian powers hold no sway over me. Graboid vs T-Rex
DI: On rock T-Rex on dirt Graboid. Voltron vs Omega Supreme. (Image courtesy of the Transformers t shirt collection)
DC: Omega Supreme.
DI: So who can Voltron beat?
DC: Bumble Bee movie form.
DI: LOL
DC: Stalemate vs Thundercats.
DI: T-Cats. Graboid vs Morlocks.
DC: Graboids.
DI: Morlocks vs CHUDs?
DC: CHUDs.
DI: CHUDs vs Sleestaks?
DC: Sleestaks.
DI: Hmm. They move pretty slow.
DC: They have poison spit darts and are scary as hell. Gremlins vs Gollum?
DI: I need more info. Good gremlin or bad gremlin? Gollum with Ring or withoug?
DC: No Ring. Gremlins are what you get after you feed a Mogwai after midnight.
DI: No Ring Gremlins easy. Gollum will eat a couple and die.
DC: LOL.
DI: Gremlins could jump in the ocean and conquer the planet.
DC: Indeed. Until the next morning.
DI: Mogwai vs Smurfs?
DC: LOL stalemate.
DI: They’d just sit there looking cute at each other.
DC: Yeah. Conan vs He Man?
DI: I want to say Conan but my gut says He Man.
DC: Dunno depends on magic.
DI: Gloop and Gleep from the Herculoids vs the Smurfs.
DC: LOL Herculoids. 6 Storm Troopers vs Predator.
DI: Predator.
DC: Storm troopers wearing real armor? No plastic s&%*.
DI: In the jungle still predator. In the open 50/50. Skeletor vs old Obi Won Kenobi?
DC: Skeletor. Young Obi FTW though. Luke Skywalker vs Predator?
DI: Episode IV Predator. Episode VI Luke.
DC: Good qualification.
DI: Gargomel vs Harry Potter.
DC: Harry Potter year 3.
DI: If Harry Potter wanted to eat and/or turn Smurfs into gold how long would they last.
DC: Not long. ALthough being magical creatures they may have a resistance to magic.
At that point we both had to get back to work or something interrupting the flow of our high brow high geek conversation. If you knew every reference in this conversation and can come up with a qualified opinion on each match up you are very cool.
the Infamous Dave Inman
St. Vincent Review part 3
So should you see this film? Yes, yes you should. I can highly recommend it. 
In a world full of explosions and giant robots it is a true character study (image courtesy of the Transformers t shirt category). A very rare egg indeed. If you rate your movies by how many cars get wrecked and arms get broken accompanied by the sound of celery being bent odds are you will not want to see it but I say to you, sir, that this film experience is even more valuable. See what happens when characters are not armed and hardly ever fight. However for you there is a scene where Vincent teaches Oliver to fight a bully with hilarious results and another scene where Vincent gets drunk, slips on some ice, and ends up unconscious on the kitchen floor that you should find hilarious.
4.5 of 5! Really good.
I’m even going to rate this one a good date movie BTW. It’s got enough touchy feely stuff to keep her engaged while being funny enough to keep you happy. Plus seeing Bill Murray in a good film will soften the blow for when he finally capitulates and does Ghostbusters III. Is there even the slightest chance that film will do anything other than suck? If you believe so contact me immediately as I have some Nevada beachfront property and a big bridge I’d like to discuss with you. 4.5 of 5 Phasers.
Incidentally let me know if you like these shorter, more broken up reviews. I actually find them easier to read. Those big ones I used to do could get ponderous and I like to think I still keep my rapier like wit and manage to retain more of my day to engage in my rock ‘n roll party lifestyle. Thanks and have a great day.
the Infamous Dave Inman
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