Dundracon, Vegas, and Valentines Day
I’m going to rush this out as I have a ton of things to do today. I wanted to give everyone an update as to what is going on lately.
First of all, I will not be writing anything tomorrow as I will be having a miserable time in Las Vegas at the t-shirt trade show. Actually, it is a very tiny corner of a much larger clothing show. I am going to look at new t-shirts, try to wrangle some better discounts out of my vendors, and to give the guy who I am in a lawsuit with the creeps (anyone who subscribes to my commercial web site newsletter has heard that story). I used to spend more than two weeks a year in Vegas, and believe me when I say if you don’t drink a lot, gamble, or engage the services of sexual professionals it really is painfully boring. I try to keep my time there to a minimum. Consequently I will be leaving here about 5am and getting home about 11. Hence no time for blogs. (Hangover Vegas shirt courtesy of the movie t shirt category)
Actually, I wish I had the kind of luck it takes to win a gambling, but I traditionally lose money at a fairly steady rate. My curse is I am good enough at math to know that I will probably not win anything but not good enough at math to be really good at gambling. It just always struck me as kind of dumb to play games in a multi-million dollar building built entirely from the profits on gambling.
This weekend we have our first show of the year, the illustrious Dundracon in lovely San Ramon, CA. It is a gaming convention, with all the nerdish whimsy and wonder associated with that. I will have a booth set up on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday so if you are a gamer and in the Bay Area come down and say hi. If the new (super cute) girl I hired is working out well enough on Saturday (alas, Winter has moved to the bowels of Arizona) I will probably play in the Warhammer tournament on Sunday. Also, if you are kind of a peripheral nerd and haven’t really committed to the nerd lifestyle, this is a great opportunity to see what the REAL nerds are like. Just because you have a bad haircut and work as a programmer does not qualify you as a nerd (you could easily be a hipster). This convention is like drinking bottled spring water all your life and then one day traveling to the actual mountain spring for a sip of the purest water you’ve ever had in your life. If you consider your study of nerds more of a cultural anthropological experience than a convention like this is where Jane Goodall would have set up her observation post.
Finally, today is Valentine’s Day, and as a nerd who gives other nerds advice on dating it seems appropriate that I say a few words. Normally I would rant and rave about a fake holiday created by Hallmark as an opportunity to schlock greeting cards that has the added effect of making all single people feel like the lowest forms of loser life on the planet, but the bile just isn’t in me today as I actually have a wonderful girl to have dinner with tonight. Like any sellout turncoat I have jumped into V-Day with both feet and waiting on my kitchen counter right now are a dozen long stem red roses (I hope she doesn’t read this blog before I pick her up).
However, I should offer some advice to those of you who don’t have someone to go out with. Hmm. First of all, you missed your opportunity. Women were looking for guys to date for Valentine’s day about a month ago. No one wants this day to be like the third date. Also, single women will as a rule shut themselves in and bar the door to avoid the painful sight of happy couples on what is effectively the Superbowl for women. Therefore, if you had the concept of going out and trying to meet someone (on this day more accurately called “doing the buzzard”) then really, don’t waste your time.
The best thing you can do is find an anti-Valentine’s party (I have been to many) and hope to get really hammered. However, those things are like bitterness magnets, so odds are you will feel worse leaving than entering.
My advice to you would be to follow suite with the sane women out there and shut yourself in. Order a pizza (hopefully delivered by an even more pathetic and bitter single loser than you) and play video games until your eyes bleed. Trust me. Griefing people online is a remarkable balm for the gaping hole where your heart should be.
Then, first thing tomorrow morning, wake up with a new attitude, re-read all my dating advice blog posts, and jump back into the fray. I sincerely wish you all the best of luck.
