Nerd dating advice: to dance or not to dance Pt 2
Now, in an attempt to prove that the world is as surreal as possible, I will give you some basic instructions on how to dance.
As usual, I will start with the negative and end with the positive. Here is a list of dancing do-not-do’s:
First of all, imagine a horizontal line at your collar bone that extends in all directions. This is the gay line. Under no circumstances while on the dance floor can your hands extend above that line, or you will spill whatever reservoir of machismo you have built up during the evening on the floor like a broken water balloon (by the way, I have no issue with gay guys, and have often thought how much easier my life would be if I were gay (smarter friends, more successful, better dresser. It’s just the sex with men part I can’t get past), but this post is to help straight men date straight women so I have to keep things in order).
Secondly, never dance with a drink in your hand. Girls can do it and get away with it. Guys in general (and odds are you in particular) need their full attention while dancing. Also, drinking your drink while dancing will break that line I talked about last paragraph. So leave your drink on the table, even if your date brings hers along (incidentally, you might notice that some 
women are very hesitant to leave drinks unattended or with guys they don’t know particularly well. I guess it might be fear of Roofies, which is a legitimate concern. If there are any women reading this, Roofies mixed with alcohol produces a bitter taste, and the newer ones have a blue dye in it that will turn light drinks blue).
(poison mushroom image courtesy of the video game t shirt category)
Thirdly, never dance in a circle. You will look like an idiot. Also, don’t move around the floor a lot. Walk to your spot and just dance there. You don’t have the skill to actually walk and dance at the same time. Again, remember that focus.
I’m actually having a lot of fun working on this list, so I think I will continue on tomorrows post. That will give me time to think of other bad dance moves I have seen or done.
A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to buy this stuff.
Ok I know I promised to get into where to meet women, but I realized I skipped over this very important step in the self improvement process; now that I know what to wear, where do I go to find it?
Naturally, I am inclined to hope you find everything you need at my site such as this very cool Yeti Kong t shirt from the video game t shirt section, but I know that as much as I would like to cater to your needs, this is one area where you are going to have to go elsewhere.
First of all, as much as a fan of online shopping as I am, you are going to have to actually go to a store and (horrors!) shop. You must try everything on to make sure it fits, and really should be looking for outfits rather than items. You can’t do that on a web site (of course, if you are looking for a specific t-shirt, you can’t go wrong with a quality web site such as mine). In other words, you have to get out of the house.
I will, for simplicities sake, recommend a major moderately high end department store such as Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s. They will have more or less everything you could possibly need in a wide range of sizes. I also have a great appreciation of their excellent customer service. Stay away from low end stuff (anything that ends in -Mart) and the really high end (Neiman Marcus, etc) as they will ruin your wallet fast and seem to have an attitude of better-than-thou that always intimidates me into never wanting to even talk to the employees. A smaller boutique is OK, but stay away from stores that cater to a specific demographic (surf and skate stores, motorcycle shops, Hot Topic, etc) as you will find it easy to get pulled off target, if you know what I mean. Spend too long in a skate shop and you will forget about looking good and come to the conclusion that the way to get laid is to try to look like Bam Margera. Trust me, looking like a poser in any way will get you nowhere.
The other important thing about shopping is you have to bring a shopping partner. If you are not inclined to shop, you will very quickly become bored and buy the first three things you see without trying on anything. DO NOT BRING ONE OF YOUR NERD FRIENDS! This will end with the two of you getting bored and cutting out to the nearest comic book store and getting into an argument about how the Thing goes to the bathroom. You need to bring a woman to help you shop (or a gay man). She should be both hot and fashionable. I am sure at some point in the recent past you have gotten a “let’s be friend’s” speech from some girl who thinks she is way too good for you. Time to cash that chip in. Besides, girls love make overs for guys. They like to think of you as a dress up doll and then tell all their friends how they turned you around. Trust me on this. Use the line “Hey, ‘friend’, I really need to improve my wardrobe and look, but I don’t know what I am doing. Can you go shopping with me and help me out” and she will commit an unprecedented amount of time to you.
This shopping buddy will (hopefully) keep you interested and on focus, as well as giving critical feedback and advice. You will find that all the effort you have put towards computers, video games, comic books, and other cool things women have spent on clothing. While this can make them seem a little lame, it also makes them (in general) freakishly good at picking clothes and outfits. Since she will want to claim credit for your life turnaround she will kill herself to find the right stuff.
If, for whatever reason, you are incapable of finding a shopping buddy (living in a shack in the woods, possess abominable halitosis, just that awkward, etc) you can take advantage of the personal shopper program all these stores have in place. I had a girl help me out at Bloomingdale’s a couple years ago and she was phenomenally good. They are generally experts in clothes, and usually pretty hot, so it can be a lot of fun. The one thing I would say is know when to say no. They are always really good at finding “one more thing” that you apparently need to make the outfit perfect. Other than that, they are great and most store offer their services free of charge. Just call the store and ask for the personal shopper service to make an appointment.
That’s pretty much it. Set a budget and try to stay into it, but otherwise spend as much as you can. You will appreciate it immensely.
By the way, after messing up from the last post I am not going to give previews anymore. Just count on me to come up with something relevant each day.
GPS sucks
So I was trying to go see my friend take his black belt test today and dared to assume my GPS would get me there without getting lost. Somehow it is working less and less well, and any intersection that is not a 90 degree angle crossover makes it think I have crossed over into an alternate universe and have to take the scenic tour through hell to return to my home dimension. Somehow I ended up in Dogpatch, for god’s sake.
Anyway, enough ranting. If we had a little magic in our technology (steampunk) then I probably would have not gotten lost, as in this great controller from the videe game t shirt section.
I have totally blown off working this weekend and not gotten much work done. I know this is what weekends are supposed to be for, but I feel the need to put in more hours. I think if I get my laundry done I will put in a few hours tonight. I have some Godzilla and Alien t shirts that need some love tonight.
Anyway, getting everything ready for WonderCon. It should be great. If you are going to be there be sure to stop by and say hi to Winter and me.
What Happened to Mario?
Over the weekend, I watched my sister and her friend playing Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii, and I have to admit that I was decidedly underwhelmed. While the graphics have never been the main draw to the Mario games, they seem identical to those of Super Mario 64. And in the couple of levels that I watched them play, it seems like the game development is lacking as well.
Maybe I was just easily enamored with video games when I was younger, but I can’t see what these new Mario games offer players. As someone who goes around sporting an old school video game t shirt on a regular basis, I am disappointed with what has become of the franchise. Although it may not be the low point that the live action Mario movie was, Super Mario Galaxy may be an indication that the rein of Mario is over.
Almost done with World of Warcraft
My level of frustration with WOW has reached a new high. I haven’t been this frustrated since I was grinding my way through STV on my first toon. The fact is I haven’t had a decent gear upgrade in months. I have killed Lady Deathwhisper at least 20 times and have yet to see the bow drop (actually, it dropped once and went to another hunter). On my alts it drops pretty much every time. Same for the pants. Loot in general sucks for me, yet every pug hunter on the server has the bow.
In fact, the game has pretty much sucked ever since Wrath. The content is lame, the zones are all tiny, world PvP has devolved into ret pallies running around destroying everything, arenas suck, BG’s are chock full of idiots, and honestly I’m getting bored. I have hundreds of Triumph and Frost emblems and tens of thousands of gold and nothing to spend any of it on. Dull. I feel like they rushed development out on it, and it shows. Doesn’t bode well for Cataclysm.
I think I just need to take a break and see how I feel in a couple weeks. There are days when the game is still interesting, but most days I find myself wishing I were working on my site or painting Skaven. Of course, I still have tons of friends who play so I won’t diss the game and will still keep the video game t shirts section going, but I am going to give it a rest for a while.
I’m thinking of trading in my car for a pick up truck to make going to shows like WonderCon easier. It’s a sad decision to make, as I love my car. It’s a 2004 Ford Crown Victoria, and in spite of looking like either an old man or a cop it’s the coolest car I’ve ever owned. Talk about cruise control. I might head out and see what I can find tomorrow. I should shop online, but I actually like negotiating with the car dealership guys. It’s fun.
By the way I have a new source for great cheap t-shirts. Check it out.
World of Warcraft Problems
So I have
been having trouble with my DPS in raids lately for lack of a couple of key pieces of gear. I have been having some bad luck with drops and am not getting raid invites as often so the problem is compounding itself. I have a gold raid coming up on Saturday. Basically a bunch of guys are going to raid ICC25 and bid gold for the gear we need. The gold is then split up among the raiders. For the first time in a long time I need gold and am doing some work to get it.
I love combining projects, so I have been soloing UD Strat in hopes of getting the mount. Takes about 15 minutes, and by the time I have sold all the greys, runecloth, and assorted BOP and disenchanted gear I usually make about 100 gold. There are other ways to make gold faster, but this is kind of fun and I have a lot of hope of getting that damned mount.
In celebration of this new project I have been wearing one of my World of Warcraft t shirts like this one from our video game t shirt category. It’s cool, but it’s kind of thin. When I ran to the bank and post office it was pretty cold. I better find one of my hoodies or something.
Anyway, things are cool otherwise. Getting ready for WonderCon. I am really excited to be there. Thinking of other products to bring. I think posters will be the best choice. Anyway, talk to you all later.
